As I was driving in to work this morning, a thought had popped into my head:
Why can't I just quite my job, sport an evil mustache and pursue a life of villainy?
But which evil mustache would I choose?
A Fu Manchu Mustache pretty much commands evil and villainy. I wish I could just instantly grow a Fu Manchu mustache and carry out diabolically grandiose plans for world domination. I could see it all now.... I would be in my large castle/fortress that would be up on a mountaintop, looking down on the cities below. There, I would stand alone on the balcony, reciting my fiendish plans aloud to myself. I would pace to and fro, back and forth whilst ringing my hands menacingly. A gentle breeze would blow my gentle Fu Manchu 'stache to the side. Yes, my plans are at hand. My armies and unnecessarily large ray gun stand ready to conquer the world. Soon everyone will bow before my insane superiority as supreme dictator of the world. As the world's new benevolent leader of the semi-free earth-sphere, I would make the world spend it's grand wealth on research........Research on how to keep me alive longer so I can rule the world forever. Yes, that's crazy and grandiose. And then I would forbid wearing pants on Tuesday and shorts on Saturdays and every other Wednesday. I would make it mandatory to wear shorts over your pants on Fridays. Then I would take all the worlds nuclear weapons and immediately point them towards the moon. It's high time that smug Lunar rock got what was coming to it.
Yes, the Fu Manchu is villainy incarnate.
Maybe I would be happier with the other brand of evil mustache instead?
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