Weather Amnesia

I'm not entirely sure why everyone is complaining about the weather here in Utah. It's like this EVERY year. It's as though everyone forgets that April is the rainiest month for this state. For a full month Utah turns into the state of Washington. It constantly rains and snows. Yet, I keep hearing the same complaints.

"It wasn't like this last year."

Oh yes. Yes it was.

And I'm going to take a wild guess and say it was like that the year before too. And the year before that. An almanac would prove me correct. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of this constantly wet weather either. I'm so ready for Spring and sunshine. As it snowed the other day, I couldn't help but think "Why can't it just be nice for 8 hours of a day? Just for one day off. That's all I ask." As it turns out, I've worked 98% of the nice sunny days and had days off when the weather was intensely shitty.



The other day I went to 18 bike shops in search of my future bicycle. I realized something very important about myself when it comes to starting a new hobby. I never do anything halfway. I do my research. I go to just about every shop, try every brand, and ask a ton of annoying questions. I can't wait to get my bike and start riding outdoors. I can't wait to start enjoying being outside without being grotesquely tired.


I also realize that in exactly one month I'll be in Idaho enjoying my Memorial Weekend Camping trip. I simply cannot wait for that to happen.

Another Sunny Day in Hell

I've been working entirely too much. But I've noticed a difference in working too much during the day versus working too much at night. I'm not as tired or angry. In fact working too much during the day is........manageable. It's still been a lot of work though. I'm exhausted and beyond burned out. I've been working 5-7 days a week for the past 5 weeks. A vacation is clearly in call for. A good long vacation. Fortunately, Memorial Weekend is just around the corner. The camping trip I look forward to every year is always a beacon of hope for me. I can reliably look forward to it at the same time every year. Last year's was a bit of a disappointment. I'm hoping this year will be better. Even if it's not better, it's still nice to be out with the family. It's nice to be out in the middle of no where. It's nice to be outdoors in nature. Just writing about it makes me excited already. The prospect of camping has never looked so beautiful.

What else have I been up to lately?........Hmmm......

Last week, my beloved expensive coffee maker died. Luckily I still kept the box and the receipt for just such an occasion. I could tell in the days leading up to it's demise that it wasn't working so well. It made weird sputtering sounds that oddly resembled the same sounds my Geo Metro made before it died. I wasn't sure what to do about the situation. Do I put it down like a dying horse? I had briefly considered taking it out to the desert and putting a bullet straight through the motor. Then I figured that would probably void the warranty. I'm pretty sure most retrun policies aren't ok with putting down a suffering machine with a bullet. They would much rather have it in tact. But thanks to my foresight, I was able to return it and get a new one that has thus far performed admirably.

The quest for a mountain bike still rages on. I've test ridden a ton of different models. Every time I ride on one, I realize how much I miss it. I'm very excited to get out and start riding again. I'm counting on the fact that I will enjoy it greatly. Plus it will help me stay in shape and thin. It's a winning combination. I'm still pretty set on getting an I-Pad as well. I would really love one of those. Though I'm doubting with all the other expenses I have waiting in line that the I-Pad will just have to wait it's turn.

That's about all I have for you as far as an update goes. Work. Work. Work........Bleh.

The Best 3 Letter Sentence To Wake Up To...

If you thought of the following the sentences:

"I love you"
"It's Christmas, Yay!"
"That was fun!"
"Time for vacation"

You are completely wrong if any those first came to mind.

I finally bought the coffee make that I've wanted so very badly. I had it specially programmed to get up and get ready to brew me some coffee at the same time my alarm went off. As I sleepily stumbled to the coffee maker I noticed the most wonderful words any one can witness in the morning:

"Ready to Brew"

(This is not an actual photo. The camera on my phone is broken. Now I'm forced to resort to google for relevant pictures for my blog.)

My heart melted a little. A coffee maker that wakes up with me........

Could this be love?

I think so.

(PS: This post makes it more obvious that my love for inanimate objects knows no bounds. Don't judge.)

When I Get Paid

Things on my list to get when I get paid for the first time in a month.

1.Haircut. I look ridiculous.
2. New work shoes. My old ones are falling apart.
3. A Keurig coffee maker.
4. A greesy sandwich.
5. Pay off all my debts.


Yes. In that exact order.

Inside My Head

Nobody really cares what you think, opinion-wise. However, getting inside someone's thought process can be exciting. Most people like knowing how others think and why.

Well, you're in for a treat! Here is a blog post specifically dedicated to my thought process!

Enjoy.

Scenario #1

Co-worker: Johnny?
  
My Thought: Leave me alone.

What I Actually Say: What can I do for you?

Co-worker: I'm feeling lazy. My patient just crapped the bed. Will you change them for me?

My Thought: Blow me. I quit.

What I Actually Say: Sure. I'll take care of it!



Scenario #2

Acquaintance: I always eat way healthy. The only reason why I gain weight is because my metabolism is so slow.

My Thought: Really? Are you sure it has nothing to do with that enormous cheeseburger in your hand? Or maybe even the 460 pounds of cow you consume weekly?

What I Actually Say: You should get your thyroid checked.





Scenario #3

Dumbass: Can I ask you a question?

My Thought: I hate talking to you.

What I Actually Say: Yeah, I'm all ears!

Dumbass: I already know I would be the greatest doctor ever but I just can't seem to pass English 0950. Do you still think I can make it to med school?

My Thought: Never. You're stupid and you smell funny..... Dumbass.

What I Actually Say: Anything is possible!

Dumbass: Yeah. Then I'll get to boss you around when I make it! Ha ha ha.

My Thought: I'll kill myself if that happens.

What I Actually Say: I'm tired of Winter. Good thing Summer is around the corner!




For those who might actually say "Ew, how fake," Please take a good hard look in the mirror. Everyone does this! You think one thing and say something else. Usually there is good reasons for it. You wouldn't tell your boss to fuck off. Instead you nod your head and do what you're told. You don't say mean things to people you like. You just bite your tongue and go along with it. Nobody ever actually says EVERY SINGLE THING on their mind. No one is that blunt. There is a name for people who are dumb enough to be that loud and blunt with their inner thoughts. I think that word is "unsuccessful." Or is it "homeless?" I can't remember.

Get the point?


Hope this was moderately funny.