Today, I feel good. I don't know why. But I do. I have had a lot better mindset lately. Even though my friends have moved or are now too busy, I have really kept my head above the water. Maybe today, I realized that everything is going to be ok. Not like I didn't think so before. I was a little scared a little before, but I wasn't shaken from my confidence. Even though my world is changing and much will change, there is no use for me to live in the past. There is nothing I can change there. At least I can improve in the future and work toward my goals and being a better person. Rather than dwell on my negative experiences, I harness them. I learn from them and become stronger. Yeah, things won't always be easy, and college will be hard and trying. But for the first time in a long time, I know I can handle things. I know that whatever is up ahead, difficult for fun, I can take it. Not alone all the time. I am no longer discouraged by the unfamiliar realms of new life and school. I know now what I need to do to make myself.
Today, I realized that everyone is starting middle school/high school and I would just like to say.................It sucks to be you. I am so glad I am out of that needlessly dramatic pisshole. There is some aspects of it I will miss of course. But for the most part, I am happy I am out of there. I realized that today as I ate Taco Bell at noon and realized, wow, I have no where to be for a while. This is great. Taco Bell never tasted so good at that point. So to all of you still in high school, have fun and live it up. and to everyone else. goodbye
Monday, August 29, 2005
My Adventures with Accidentally Overdosing on Excedrin
Hello Everyone, I have a story for you that occurred about a month ago and only a few people have heard it. Since I have nothing better to do, I thought I should share it with the whole world. Mostly encompassing maybe 4 people. Anyway, I shall begin:
To start off, I'd like to say that I am fairly against, drinking and doing drugs. Never done it, Never will. And it's not for any reasons dealing with popular religious factions. For I am not committed to one. I do not do these things because I know myself well enough to know that I would be addicted. If other people want to do it, thats fine with me. I'm not going to preach. It's their choice. Anyway, moving on......... One night I got a migraine and that was unusual in itself. I never have migraines. In fact it was the second one I have had in my lifetime. It was so bad it was starting to impair my vision and train of thought. I couldn't see straight. Everything was wobbly and wierd. I was nauseated and couldn't concentrate or think to save my soul. It was very painful. So I stumble upstairs to get some medicine for it and I ask my dad what I should take. He tells me I should take four 200mg ib profen. So as I'm going through the medicine drawer I come across a bottle of maximum strength excedrin designed for migraines. 800mg a tablet. So I figured that would be the better choice. However, like I said, my migraine was impairing much of my train of thought and I had the mindset of taking 4 ib profen. So what do I do? I take 4 maximum strength excedrins. Not good. Not good at all. I would never do this intentionally. So basically after midnight that night; I don't remember anything except that I still felt pain and a dream of walking down my street.
I wake up the next day feeling a little light headed but refreshed. My migraine is no longer with me and I feel a little out of it. As I walk out of my room my sister says "what the hell was your problem last night? You were so rude and mean. You kicked over my chair while I was asleep and told me to get to bed" I was like what. No I didn't why, in the hell would I do that? So I go back to my room and check my cell phone for any messages I may have missed since I thought I went to bed early. I noticed I had about 15 new messages in my text message outbox. I was like what? I don't remember sending those. My outbox was empty last night. Much to my dismay, I find that in my stupor I had texted my ex at 3 in the morning telling her, how much I missed her and wanted her back. Something I would have never said in my lifetime had I been sober. I knew that I was going to be in deep shit after that. I make my way upstairs and my dad interrogates me immediately. He asks "what were you doing leaving the house at 5 in the morning? you disappeared and walked out of the house for no reason." My dad obviously wouldn't make something like this up so I said I just felt a little uneasy and went for a walk to catch some air. Oddly enough he believed it. Then it hit me. My "dream" of me walking down the street was reality. I walked down to 711. But for what? I ran to my room and saw a double big gulp (64 oz) drink filled to the brim full of diet coke on my desk. I fuckin hate diet coke! It was completely untouched. I obviously must have payed for it because there was no warrant for my arrest. Why I got diet coke, I don't know, but I did. So as I put the puzzle pieces together I realized that I really got fucked up on excedrin and didnt remember anything for 7 hours. Needless to say my ex chewed me out and she didn't even believe my story of why I did it. But eh, oh well.
So what have we learned? Johnny would not do well on drugs and is apparently a dick when he's fucked up. So all the more incentive for me not to touch the stuff. Anyway, Thats my story, I hope you enjoyed it. And if you made it all this way, I suggest that you subscribe to my blogs so you can be apart of all the "Johnny super action." Yes. You know it's true.
To start off, I'd like to say that I am fairly against, drinking and doing drugs. Never done it, Never will. And it's not for any reasons dealing with popular religious factions. For I am not committed to one. I do not do these things because I know myself well enough to know that I would be addicted. If other people want to do it, thats fine with me. I'm not going to preach. It's their choice. Anyway, moving on......... One night I got a migraine and that was unusual in itself. I never have migraines. In fact it was the second one I have had in my lifetime. It was so bad it was starting to impair my vision and train of thought. I couldn't see straight. Everything was wobbly and wierd. I was nauseated and couldn't concentrate or think to save my soul. It was very painful. So I stumble upstairs to get some medicine for it and I ask my dad what I should take. He tells me I should take four 200mg ib profen. So as I'm going through the medicine drawer I come across a bottle of maximum strength excedrin designed for migraines. 800mg a tablet. So I figured that would be the better choice. However, like I said, my migraine was impairing much of my train of thought and I had the mindset of taking 4 ib profen. So what do I do? I take 4 maximum strength excedrins. Not good. Not good at all. I would never do this intentionally. So basically after midnight that night; I don't remember anything except that I still felt pain and a dream of walking down my street.
I wake up the next day feeling a little light headed but refreshed. My migraine is no longer with me and I feel a little out of it. As I walk out of my room my sister says "what the hell was your problem last night? You were so rude and mean. You kicked over my chair while I was asleep and told me to get to bed" I was like what. No I didn't why, in the hell would I do that? So I go back to my room and check my cell phone for any messages I may have missed since I thought I went to bed early. I noticed I had about 15 new messages in my text message outbox. I was like what? I don't remember sending those. My outbox was empty last night. Much to my dismay, I find that in my stupor I had texted my ex at 3 in the morning telling her, how much I missed her and wanted her back. Something I would have never said in my lifetime had I been sober. I knew that I was going to be in deep shit after that. I make my way upstairs and my dad interrogates me immediately. He asks "what were you doing leaving the house at 5 in the morning? you disappeared and walked out of the house for no reason." My dad obviously wouldn't make something like this up so I said I just felt a little uneasy and went for a walk to catch some air. Oddly enough he believed it. Then it hit me. My "dream" of me walking down the street was reality. I walked down to 711. But for what? I ran to my room and saw a double big gulp (64 oz) drink filled to the brim full of diet coke on my desk. I fuckin hate diet coke! It was completely untouched. I obviously must have payed for it because there was no warrant for my arrest. Why I got diet coke, I don't know, but I did. So as I put the puzzle pieces together I realized that I really got fucked up on excedrin and didnt remember anything for 7 hours. Needless to say my ex chewed me out and she didn't even believe my story of why I did it. But eh, oh well.
So what have we learned? Johnny would not do well on drugs and is apparently a dick when he's fucked up. So all the more incentive for me not to touch the stuff. Anyway, Thats my story, I hope you enjoyed it. And if you made it all this way, I suggest that you subscribe to my blogs so you can be apart of all the "Johnny super action." Yes. You know it's true.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Life Update: Complete with unnecessary slander
Well, I thought maybe I should give an update with my life. Many people are fairly confused with a few situations of mine so yes, I will address those and other things you wouldn't care if I addressed.
1. Moving: As for my moving situation regarding me moving to the well known state of inbreeding hicks, cattle fuckin, and racism, and yes, I'm talkin about my move to Boise, Idaho. Now IF I move to this magical place, it will not be till March or April. We still need time to sell the house and shit like that. As I have stated before, I am thoroughly against this move so me moving is still highly questionable and I will do everything in my power to stay here.
2. Girls: Yes, they still do suck ass. Lately, events in my life involving this species, has left me bitter to an extent. I like meeting new girls, and stuff. But I'm not looking for anyone and likewise, no one is really looking for me.
3. My general thoughts: My life has been good. But as college creeps closer the more scared I get. My life will change slowly, maybe fast. As if it hasn't changed enough the past few months. Saying goodbye to one of my best friends as he leaves for college sucks. It won't be the last time I'll see him obviously. Just won't be as often. I feel that now that I step into this new unkown world, that many aspects of my life are starting to fade and die away. Familiar faces are leaving, new people will enter my life, I feel alone again. High School is good and over and I'm fine with that. I wasn't really that attached to that place anyway. But there are people whom I will miss and may never see again. Whether they be from high school or not, if I will miss those people, they have somehow made me feel different in some way, whether it be little or big. I also find that I have a growing passionate hate towards my job nowadays. I have maybe only 1 or 2 friends there anymore. Everyone else is just a co worker. Work has just been a mess of unnecessary immature drama by which I had been subject to for a couple of months. I get more quiet everyday I go. People would sooner talk shit about me than help me. It used to be better. I just gotta be patient as I train in my EKG studies so I can transfer and never look back. Generally, I am a happy person. I'm happy with how things are going despite little set backs, ups and downs. But thats just life. Life is compromise and change and its all a matter of how you choose to deal with that. Like some would rather dwell on your experiences to gain pity and attention than learning and harnessing your experiences not just for your good but others then it seems selfish doesnt it? Now I'm just kind of rambling on. A piece of my life is ending. My friend Lincoln put it best when he said "And ending is just a chance to begin writing a new chapter, only you preferably make this one more interesting." So as I'm stepping into this unknown, I will try to live it the best I can........
and that is all and I have effectively wasted for your life/time for almost 2-3 minutes.
1. Moving: As for my moving situation regarding me moving to the well known state of inbreeding hicks, cattle fuckin, and racism, and yes, I'm talkin about my move to Boise, Idaho. Now IF I move to this magical place, it will not be till March or April. We still need time to sell the house and shit like that. As I have stated before, I am thoroughly against this move so me moving is still highly questionable and I will do everything in my power to stay here.
2. Girls: Yes, they still do suck ass. Lately, events in my life involving this species, has left me bitter to an extent. I like meeting new girls, and stuff. But I'm not looking for anyone and likewise, no one is really looking for me.
3. My general thoughts: My life has been good. But as college creeps closer the more scared I get. My life will change slowly, maybe fast. As if it hasn't changed enough the past few months. Saying goodbye to one of my best friends as he leaves for college sucks. It won't be the last time I'll see him obviously. Just won't be as often. I feel that now that I step into this new unkown world, that many aspects of my life are starting to fade and die away. Familiar faces are leaving, new people will enter my life, I feel alone again. High School is good and over and I'm fine with that. I wasn't really that attached to that place anyway. But there are people whom I will miss and may never see again. Whether they be from high school or not, if I will miss those people, they have somehow made me feel different in some way, whether it be little or big. I also find that I have a growing passionate hate towards my job nowadays. I have maybe only 1 or 2 friends there anymore. Everyone else is just a co worker. Work has just been a mess of unnecessary immature drama by which I had been subject to for a couple of months. I get more quiet everyday I go. People would sooner talk shit about me than help me. It used to be better. I just gotta be patient as I train in my EKG studies so I can transfer and never look back. Generally, I am a happy person. I'm happy with how things are going despite little set backs, ups and downs. But thats just life. Life is compromise and change and its all a matter of how you choose to deal with that. Like some would rather dwell on your experiences to gain pity and attention than learning and harnessing your experiences not just for your good but others then it seems selfish doesnt it? Now I'm just kind of rambling on. A piece of my life is ending. My friend Lincoln put it best when he said "And ending is just a chance to begin writing a new chapter, only you preferably make this one more interesting." So as I'm stepping into this unknown, I will try to live it the best I can........
and that is all and I have effectively wasted for your life/time for almost 2-3 minutes.
My Adventures at Nutty Putty Caves
It is once again another time for me to come forth and begail my readers with another story of dimwitted actions, smothered in unnecessary rhetoric and banter.
Last night was the last night my good friend Jeff would be in Sandy before he left a whole 2 hours away to Logan to attend USU. It was his idea to get a bunch of people and go up to Nutty Putty Caves and pull an all nighter. Just chill, listen to music, talk and all that good stuff. For those who don't know, Nutty Putty Caves is a system of underground caves out in the West Desert. Quite a few people bombed out on us so the trip started out with myself, Jeff, Brennon, Melissa, Scott, Keith, Matt and his friend (I don't remember the friends name), and a girl Jeff knew from Idaho named Carrie. We all met up at a 7/11 by Bangeter highway where Scott purchased 18 dollars in gas in change while I programmed my i-pod to play some hang out music and what not. We pushed out to the caves and made it around 7. We pulled over, shot some cans and clay pigeons with the shotguns and assorted firearms we chose to bring. Nothing unites a group of people quite like guns. After about 2 hours of constant noise from 7 people with guns we finally decided to embark on our adventure up to the caves. The road was needless to say, bumpy beyond all reason and 2 out of the 4 vehicles really had enough power to make it up the steep slope to get to the top where the entrance was. After bottoming out suspensions and making our spines a chiropractors dream, we all piled out of the car and made a fire with what little daylight we had left. Scott, being the boy scout he is, just piles wood in an arbitrary place, pours a shitload of gas, lights a match and runs like hell. We all crowded round the fire for a bit. During our little pointless chat sessions I notice that Brennon's doors are open and the inside light is on. I told him and he left to go correct this problem. For some unknown reason/reason I don't remember, Brennon had his keys in the ignition. He shuts all the doors, turns off the lights, then locks the door.............While the keys are still in the ignition. He locked his damn keys in the car in the middle of a desert. His spare keys were with his parents in bear lake, and the combo lock on the side, yeah well Brennon had no memory of such a code. Everyone scrambled to somehow try to get back into his car. Conveniently there was a coat hanger lying around and just about everyone was trying to slip past the door strippings or trying to jimmy rig the lock unsuccessfully. We couldn't make it in after an hour of failed attempts. By this time Scott, Keith, Melissa, and Matt's friend had to go home. Leaving me, Jeff, Brennon, Matt, and Carrie to fend for ourselves. I had my chance to hitch a ride home but I decided to stay for Brennon because I know he would have done the same for me. Plus it seemed like it would be fun. And another nice addition to this was that my only set of car keys was in Brennons Explorer. Me and Jeff tried endless to convince him to commit and act of..............*cough* insurance fraud *cough* good deeds to get his car back. We suggest he just break out a small window so we could get our crap get in the car and leave. Time was of the essence because Brennon also left the radio on in his car. The battery was going to die if we didn't get in there quick. But he refused to get a free window paid by insurance for making up a completely believable story. He choose to believe there was a better way. In the meantime of all this, we were expecting our friend Lindsay and her friend Autumn to come up with us. Which of course they rode in on four wheelers from random guys who were riding in the desert as well. Lindsay had suffered quite the rasberry scratch on her back after one of the guys did a failed attempt to impress the girls by popping a large wheely on the Atv's. I don't know how it happened but it scratched her up good. So by this point, we were pretty much stranded with Brennon's car. He had formulated a plan that Melissa, his girlfriend, would come out at 5 in the morning to pick us up and we would find help in the morning to help us unlock his car. Melissa was our only hope seeing as though all other rides were unavailable and Brennon was unwilling to break his window to avoid the hassle of all this. So it looked like all of us were going to pull an all nighter in the middle of the desert. Its hard to sleep out in the desert so sleep was kind of out of the question. But we figured we should still have fun anyway. We explored the cave in depth, armed with flashlights and glowsticks. It was a pretty fun little hike. Lindsay had to use Matt a lot as a human stepping stone, but he was fine with that. At the end of the cave we cracked open glowsticks and spackled the stuff all over the walls and each other and turned off all our flashlights. It was a really cool sight as we embraced the underground pitch darkness dimly lit by the cancerous glowsticks. We made our way back out of the cave and from there on we chilled by the fire for the next 5 hours after that. Our provisions were just slightly moist hot dog buns with hot dogs but no condiments, gummy worms, knock off oreo cookies, and all the soda we need to destroy our kidneys and pancreas.We lived by the fire in complete paranoia of hearing crap. You could hear coyetes howling everywhere and some weird growling sound in the distance. Which turned out to be a bird oddly enough. The whole 5 hours was filled with the most pointless conversations imaginable until Melissa finally came and got us. At 7:30 in the morning we drove to the nearest town to phone police for a slim jim key. Melissa then dropped off Me, Brennon and Matt back at the caves to wait for the cops while Jeff found a ride home with Lindsay in her car that was parked at the edge of the desert. From there the 3 of us complained in our tired stupor about our situation. Eventually the cops did make it and after about 10 minutes they got the car open. It was a joyus occasion. Although Brennon's truck was long dead, Matt's keys were in there. We trecked down to where matt was parked and crammed in his little truck and drove our way back home. We didn't make it in time to say goodbye to Jeff. But we called to harass him anyway. I'm sure I have left out many details of this story and I have probably made a mockery of the actual greatness of this story. But meh.
By the way, Matt C. is a dumbass. Nutty Putty caves is NOT collapsed in because the locals buried it in because 3 kids died in there a few weeks ago. That was in Provo.
Thank you for being dully intrigued......
Last night was the last night my good friend Jeff would be in Sandy before he left a whole 2 hours away to Logan to attend USU. It was his idea to get a bunch of people and go up to Nutty Putty Caves and pull an all nighter. Just chill, listen to music, talk and all that good stuff. For those who don't know, Nutty Putty Caves is a system of underground caves out in the West Desert. Quite a few people bombed out on us so the trip started out with myself, Jeff, Brennon, Melissa, Scott, Keith, Matt and his friend (I don't remember the friends name), and a girl Jeff knew from Idaho named Carrie. We all met up at a 7/11 by Bangeter highway where Scott purchased 18 dollars in gas in change while I programmed my i-pod to play some hang out music and what not. We pushed out to the caves and made it around 7. We pulled over, shot some cans and clay pigeons with the shotguns and assorted firearms we chose to bring. Nothing unites a group of people quite like guns. After about 2 hours of constant noise from 7 people with guns we finally decided to embark on our adventure up to the caves. The road was needless to say, bumpy beyond all reason and 2 out of the 4 vehicles really had enough power to make it up the steep slope to get to the top where the entrance was. After bottoming out suspensions and making our spines a chiropractors dream, we all piled out of the car and made a fire with what little daylight we had left. Scott, being the boy scout he is, just piles wood in an arbitrary place, pours a shitload of gas, lights a match and runs like hell. We all crowded round the fire for a bit. During our little pointless chat sessions I notice that Brennon's doors are open and the inside light is on. I told him and he left to go correct this problem. For some unknown reason/reason I don't remember, Brennon had his keys in the ignition. He shuts all the doors, turns off the lights, then locks the door.............While the keys are still in the ignition. He locked his damn keys in the car in the middle of a desert. His spare keys were with his parents in bear lake, and the combo lock on the side, yeah well Brennon had no memory of such a code. Everyone scrambled to somehow try to get back into his car. Conveniently there was a coat hanger lying around and just about everyone was trying to slip past the door strippings or trying to jimmy rig the lock unsuccessfully. We couldn't make it in after an hour of failed attempts. By this time Scott, Keith, Melissa, and Matt's friend had to go home. Leaving me, Jeff, Brennon, Matt, and Carrie to fend for ourselves. I had my chance to hitch a ride home but I decided to stay for Brennon because I know he would have done the same for me. Plus it seemed like it would be fun. And another nice addition to this was that my only set of car keys was in Brennons Explorer. Me and Jeff tried endless to convince him to commit and act of..............*cough* insurance fraud *cough* good deeds to get his car back. We suggest he just break out a small window so we could get our crap get in the car and leave. Time was of the essence because Brennon also left the radio on in his car. The battery was going to die if we didn't get in there quick. But he refused to get a free window paid by insurance for making up a completely believable story. He choose to believe there was a better way. In the meantime of all this, we were expecting our friend Lindsay and her friend Autumn to come up with us. Which of course they rode in on four wheelers from random guys who were riding in the desert as well. Lindsay had suffered quite the rasberry scratch on her back after one of the guys did a failed attempt to impress the girls by popping a large wheely on the Atv's. I don't know how it happened but it scratched her up good. So by this point, we were pretty much stranded with Brennon's car. He had formulated a plan that Melissa, his girlfriend, would come out at 5 in the morning to pick us up and we would find help in the morning to help us unlock his car. Melissa was our only hope seeing as though all other rides were unavailable and Brennon was unwilling to break his window to avoid the hassle of all this. So it looked like all of us were going to pull an all nighter in the middle of the desert. Its hard to sleep out in the desert so sleep was kind of out of the question. But we figured we should still have fun anyway. We explored the cave in depth, armed with flashlights and glowsticks. It was a pretty fun little hike. Lindsay had to use Matt a lot as a human stepping stone, but he was fine with that. At the end of the cave we cracked open glowsticks and spackled the stuff all over the walls and each other and turned off all our flashlights. It was a really cool sight as we embraced the underground pitch darkness dimly lit by the cancerous glowsticks. We made our way back out of the cave and from there on we chilled by the fire for the next 5 hours after that. Our provisions were just slightly moist hot dog buns with hot dogs but no condiments, gummy worms, knock off oreo cookies, and all the soda we need to destroy our kidneys and pancreas.We lived by the fire in complete paranoia of hearing crap. You could hear coyetes howling everywhere and some weird growling sound in the distance. Which turned out to be a bird oddly enough. The whole 5 hours was filled with the most pointless conversations imaginable until Melissa finally came and got us. At 7:30 in the morning we drove to the nearest town to phone police for a slim jim key. Melissa then dropped off Me, Brennon and Matt back at the caves to wait for the cops while Jeff found a ride home with Lindsay in her car that was parked at the edge of the desert. From there the 3 of us complained in our tired stupor about our situation. Eventually the cops did make it and after about 10 minutes they got the car open. It was a joyus occasion. Although Brennon's truck was long dead, Matt's keys were in there. We trecked down to where matt was parked and crammed in his little truck and drove our way back home. We didn't make it in time to say goodbye to Jeff. But we called to harass him anyway. I'm sure I have left out many details of this story and I have probably made a mockery of the actual greatness of this story. But meh.
By the way, Matt C. is a dumbass. Nutty Putty caves is NOT collapsed in because the locals buried it in because 3 kids died in there a few weeks ago. That was in Provo.
Thank you for being dully intrigued......
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
I'm moving
Ok, a few months ago I posted a blog saying that I might be moving. I didn't think it would really happen. My dad got offered a new job that will pay him a lot more than we make. At least triple. Now, where would we move? Boise, Idaho. Statistically Boise is 10 years behind Salt Lake. So that means the Smashing pumpkins are still together. Kurt Cobain isn't dead yet, and that Oklahoma bomber son of bitch needs to die. Ha ha, no they are ten years behind technology wise. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that I don't want to move. At all. Everything I have ever known is here in Utah. I may not like this state, but it is my home nonetheless. Everything I have, everything I have gained, everyone I know is here. I don't want to leave. This is the beginning of my adult life and I can't tear down everything I know and start over with a new life where everything is unfamiliar. All my family is in Idaho, but I would never see them anyway. I'm fuckin pissed. I don't want to leave. I can move if I wanted to. But to where? With who? I can't go alone. I don't make enough money. I really don't want to go. And I know some of you had to do this when you were younger or maybe you still move a lot and you're just thinking "fuck a doodle doo, quit your bitchin." It's truly hard for me though to leave all this and go somewhere I don't want to go. I never pictured myself living in Idaho for as long as I have lived. It scares me. Where am I going to be? What am I going to do? I won't have the steady job I have now. I won't have friends I've grown up with. I won't have anything. However, there is a chance that in 90 days that if my dad doesn't like the job or the employers don't like him he can leave or be told to leave, no problems. But thats a very unlikely situation. Also I won't be moving until March or April. But still, I don't want to leave. It's depressing for me.
I don't want to go. I really don't with every fiber of my being.........
I don't want to go. I really don't with every fiber of my being.........
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