Semester of Ridiculousness

Actually the title of this blog is slightly misleading. My semester isn't ridiculous in that it's hard. It's ridiculous in the way that it's boring and tedious. But that isn't the real issue here. I would like to think that my schoolwork is what makes me feel down sometimes. I know that's not it either. It's as if I'm fighting something inside of me that's undefined. Something I'm not quite understanding or seeing. I feel like something is constantly pushing against me and as time goes on, I feel too weak to push back. I know it sounds awfully dramatic. At times, I just don't have the energy to keep going fighting this unknown force.

Maybe it's that I just need sleep. Maybe I just need a new hobby. Something new to occupy my mind. I haven't got the answers to combat this. I feel like a new hobby will take my mind away from the fight and off to somewhere the fight can't reach me. It's helped before when I played pool. But no access to a pool table hasn't helped. I'm hoping that taking up guitar can help me occupy my mind in a different direction. I've longed to get back into music in some way. Nothing serious. I just want to have an outlet again. I worry however, since my lessons will be at 3:30 pm, that it will be difficult for me to wake up for this. I want to believe that I will be there every time. I think just having something new and fun to draw my attention away will be enough to help me feel better.

I'm extremely excited to begin playing a new instrument. Not only because it's fun, but to have a better understanding of music. Have a better sense of how the instruments work and sound. The tones. The depth. I've played drums for a while and have an extreme appreciation for solid drum work. I've had an appreciation for awesome guitar. I feel like understanding how it's played will give me a deeper appreciation and respect for the instrument. I don't plan on being incredibly good. But I want to at least feel like I know somewhat what I'm doing when I pick up a guitar.

I start all of this tomorrow. I guess later today actually (technically speaking). I have the day off so I can relax afterwards or take a nap if I so desire. (Woot) In other news........... Well actually that's it. That's all I'm capable off remembering at this time of morning.

First Post of 2010

I think every year I vow to try to write in this more often. I often feel compelled to write more in this when I read past posts. I read how insignificant the events were, and yet it's always nice to travel back in time. It always makes me wish that I wrote more often so I can look back. I think that's the best part of any writing. To be able to look back and think of what has happened since then. I think that's my favorite part about reading my old poetry books. I feel like going back in time to the exact moment I read it. I reflect on where I was, who I thought I was, where my life was going. It's nice to feel like in some ways I have grown. It's nice to think back to fond memories of old friends, some of which I accidentally forget about as more time passes. I like to look back at my past struggles and laugh about how ridiculous they were. I like to see how I got past them. At the time they are written, the future is unknown. It seems that you are just walking blindly and hoping for the best. When you look back on it, when everything is known on how a situation turns out, it almost seems you intentionally went that direction.

Ah yes, yes. Once again I vow to post more frequently here. Not so much for the readers (which by this point, I have ascertained with 98% certainty that no one has read this blog since I started it 2 years ago.) but for myself now. So I can look back and reflect. I don't know why I enjoy it so much. But I do.