Coffee Mug Reunion

Yet another beloved item of mine went missing a couple of months ago. My favorite coffee mug was lost on an on ice fishing trip somehow. It went on the ice with, but somehow never made it back. I know what you're thinking and no, it did not fall into the water, and no I did not leave it on the ice somewhere. My best guess is that it fell out of my backpack while walking back to the truck.

Anywho, the point is I haven't been able to find a replacement for the last couple of months. It used to be really easy to find in stores. But suddenly, I couldn't find it anywhere. I called every store that might have it and no one seemed to. My next best bet was to order it online. However, this was further complicated by my lack of funds and sometimes motivation to do. I kept holding out hope that I would be able to find it at a store somewhere. I finally broke down and ordered one off of Amazon.

At first, I was ambivalent about having to order it online. It's just a coffee mug, right? Once I got the box in the mail, it was obvious that this was not just any coffee mug. This was THE coffee mug. I didn't want any other mug. So much so, I had to go online to obtain it. I pulled it out of it's wrapping and I knew this was meant to be. It may not be my original mug but damn it, it's the mug for me.

Needless to say, the quality of my life has improved substantially since I received my mug yesterday. Life is back to normal. No more wasting cups. No more cold coffee after 20 minutes of buying it. No more wondering where my coffee cup may be. Being reunited with this mug gives me feelings of hope and joy. Much like old lovers reunited after being distant for so long.




Joy for me.

Spring Tease

It does this every Spring season. Every March and April has about 3-10 days of awesome Spring weather. The sun is out, everyone is in short sleeves, sometimes shorts. The world just seems like a brighter place again. No snow. No cold. Just sunshine, raining down its harmful UV rays upon your skin. But it's ok, because it feels good. The cancer feels good. A warm day of sunshine is just what you need to feel alive some days.

But just like every year, the weather goes back to shit in a matter of 24 hours. One minute you're enjoying the sunshine, the next day you're confronted with driving on icy roads because nature has decided that snow is somehow much better than sunshine. Even as I write this, I'm watching the snow fall to the ground. It's as if nature is laughing at me. Mocking me. As if it were to say:

"I'm glad you liked the sunshine. But I'm more happy when you're miserable. Here's some snow, asshole."


Nature is a dick.

Caffeine Makes Me Friendly

Any time I have to present a report or do a speech for school, I make sure to get loaded up on caffeine. My regular amount of caffeine is no longer enough to prop me up. It's just enough to make me mildly pleasant in the morning. However, a little extra is just about enough to make me gregarious, social, and seemingly friendly with strangers.

I've always known this fact about myself. A caffeine overdose is just what I need to get me going. I get too much energy. I get a little jittery but it's worth it. All that excess energy gets put towards social endeavors because there is no where else to put it. I find myself chatting up strangers in line places. My recessive gene social skills suddenly become dominant. I can speak in front of crowds well. I can soothe say my way in and out of things. I become impervious to criticisms. Yes, the perks of a social butterfly become my essence when excessive caffeine is in my system. My mom's side of the family is known for this type of thing. While I retain some of that skill for work and forced social situations, I'm usually silent and keep to myself.

Like a drug, the caffeine wears off. I go from invincible, back to human. I get hungover on the lack of caffeine and find myself to be irritable. Suddenly, everything and everyone bothers me. But it's ok. I couldn't imagine wanting to be friendly all the time. I couldn't imagine being so talkative. I'm much happier in my comfort zone of being equally less friendly to everyone, all the time.

Stupid Mischief

As I was driving out of work today, some teenager with a skateboard under his arm pretended like he was going to jump in front of my car on a busy street. Initially, I was mad. What if I had swerved and hit the car next to me? What if I over-corrected and crashed into something else. What if I swerved into him? I was going rather fast since it was a busy street. If he did cause me to crash, he would have to hope that I was injured or dead. Otherwise my first task once my car was stopped would be to jump out of the car and harness my temporary adrenaline-fueled retard strength to kick his ass. I don't care if he was a minor and I went to jail for it. But then I realized this is all stupid. None of those scenarios were likely to have happened. Aside from that, that's the exact same kind of shit I used to pull around that age.

The other day there was a group of 13-15 year old boys walking down the street. As I passed them, one of them thought it would be funny to make eye contact with me and then grab their crotch with a smile on their face. At first, I was mildly annoyed. Then I was pretty entertained. Again, I was reminded of how I used to this exact same thing. It was so entertaining to do stuff exactly like that.

Honestly, there is no real harm in it. The odds of a driver being so offended by you grabbing your own crotch on the street and saying something about it are low. I can't imagine someone pulling over and saying

"Hey young man, I would appreciate it if you didn't grope your crotch in a humorous fashion in public. It offends me to the deepest core of my beliefs. If I see it again, you're in trouble."

No one would do that. That's more trouble than it's worth to even address. It made me wish I was that young again. Society frowns on grown men doing this kind of stuff because it is assumed that we should know better. I knew better back then. I was just able to hide behind the "young and stupid excuse." I only wish that I could just do that kind of stupid stuff now. It's so cheaply amusing. It's funny and generally harmless. I look young enough still that I might still get away with it, but it's not the same without a group of equally irritating friends to help you.


I want to be young and irritating again.

Lack of Words

I've had a difficult time concocting something good to say on this blog. I have so many projects in the air as far as writing goes. This blog. Mustache blog. False Wikipedia biographies. Personal journal. School papers. I'm stretched thin as far as creativity goes. 

Soon it won't be so bad. Perhaps soon this blog can return to it's former glory of not being so pointless. 

Unfortunately, it won't be too soon. So you're stuck with my shitty half-assed posts in the meantime. 

Bummer. 

Journals Reflect the Ghosts of Who We Used to Be

In class recently, my teacher tried to explain that journals and diaries reflect the people who we once were. And perhaps when we pass on, they'll one day make it so others can understand us a little bit better. It's a novel idea. I like it a lot. Though I doubt that anyone would gain a greater understanding of me from reading this blog or my deeply personal journal. If anything, I think it would leave people more perplexed and confused. Perhaps on some level, it might bring closure to some to read things I never told them, or to read things they never knew even if it was pointless.

It is true that older writings are ghosts of who we used to be. When I read older entries in old journals, blogs, poems and diaries, it's like staring the old me in the face. I can remember who I was (or who I thought I was), what I thought, what I believed in, where I was going (although where I was going at the time was uncharted territory), the people in my life, the way I felt when I wrote it, a large portion of what I was thinking.

When I read some of those entries, I don't like who I see and what I remember. I don't like the decisions I've made or the thoughts I had in my head. Other times, I'm left wondering what the hell happened to that part of me or wonder why I'm not like that anymore. I don't totally resent myself when I read these old writings. I can't change who I was, the things I had done or the stupid things that I had thought. Often times, these older counterparts of myself made for some of the better stories I have to tell in my life. The older versions of me weren't totally horrible either. But they weren't satisfactory versions either. Choices left unmade or made poorly. Thoughts that were selfish and unfinished. But I guess I can't blame myself for being young and ignorant.

I sometimes wish I could meet those older versions of me. Just jump into a DeLorean and race back 8-10 years. My best guess is that I would probably want to kick my own ass for being that way. Though it would be comical, it would probably cause some sort of butterfly effect ripple in the timeline as I know it and change me. It wouldn't be worth it to fuck with physics just to teach myself a lesson about being an arrogant prick.

I suppose if it does come down to it, that people will seek answers from my writing after I'm gone, I hope they at least think I'm a good person. If not a good person, I imagine that I'll fit into the category of the complex and misunderstood.

I wonder what I'll think when I read this again in a few years....

Cracked Phone

I dropped my phone the other day when trying to leave work. Now it has big ugly cracks across the screen. I hate that. I always think it looks trashy to have a phone that looks so broken. But I'll just have to deal with it.

The irony is, I had it in this huge case that would pretty much protect it from a nuclear blast. But I took it off last week because of difficulties with hearing people and people hearing me. I figured it would be fine. I never drop it anyway. It just so figures that I drop it when the case is off.


Life hates me.

March is Here!

I can't believe March is already here. I'm somewhat excited for it. We are just one step away from spring being here. One step closer to warm weather, sunshine and fun. However, living in Utah has taught me not to be too excited for this month. It's often a disappointment weather-wise. You get 5, maybe 6 days worth of good sunny weather. Just enough for you to get a taste of the nice weather to come. But then the weather just shits on the state the rest of the time with various forms of hell such as snow, rain, sleet and outrageously cold temperatures.

I won't complain. Any good weather is fine with me. I just want spring to be here so bad that I can taste it. On that note, if spring had a flavor, I think it would be a mildly sweet flavor. Perhaps something similar to sweetened milk or vanilla ice cream.

Watch your ass, winter. Spring is on its way to clean house.