My Adventures in Boise!!!!

So it's been a month since I've taken my wonderful trip to Boise, Idaho and I have decided it's about time for me to reflect on it. So listen up Ladies, gentleman, kids, elderly, voting illegal immigrants, yes, even the non-voting illegal immigrants, and various miscellaneous minorites. (I think I covered everyone)
It started out that I had tickets to go see Senses Fail, Saves the Day and The Early November in Salt Lake. Senses Fail and Saves the Day being 2 of the biggest musical influences for me made it all the more exciting that they were coming in the same show. So I told Jeff that he should go to this show. Not only did I tell him, but I insisted! He couldn't resist of course. So the day before the show, my dad calls me up and says "Johnny, have you ever heard of this band called Senses Fail or Saves the Day?" and I was like uh.... yeah why? My dad just casually continues "Well there is this drawing for tickets to the Boise show at my work, I guess they are VIP passes. Want to be entered?" I was excited and replied yes happily. Even though I was excited, I didn't expect to win. Honestly, who wins drawings? No one! But I get a call about 2 hours later with my dad telling me that I won the tickets and the show is the day after the SLC show and I needed to bring a friend to fill the other ticket. I was excited. So once again, I turned to Jeff with an outrageous proposal that we drive to Boise to see this show where we could supposedly meet the band and such according to my dad. Jeff was intrigued, but skeptical. Both our cars were in and shit shape (and still are) and we both had school. So we settled that Jeff's car being a safer bet than my Geo Metro and decided we will take this trip. But only if we drive back home the same night because Jeff had school the next morning. It was a spontaneous and outrageous plan, but wow, was it tempting.
So Jeff and I go to the SLC and needless to say, it was crazy. The show the bands put on were amazing, but the crowds were out of control. Nonetheless, it was a great show and an amazing time was had. I bought 4 new shirts that night. But I made the unwise decision of purchasing them before the show at the stands. I layered all 4 shirts on and practically died of heat stroke. Not really. But it really was ridiculously hot in the crowd. A small problem arose though. I had to call in to work for the next day so I could go to the Boise show. And of course, I had to remember this during the show. The Venue's rules did not allow you to go back outside for any reason unless you were leaving. So making a phone call with about a 1000 people in the same room is somewhat difficult. Especially, if you need to make it convincing that you're not having a life right then. So I went into the bathroom which proved to be the least noisiest place and made my call. I hoped with everything I had that no one woud flush the toilet in there to make the conversation awkward or the bands wouldn't start playing again. Luckily, a fellow co worker answered and I quickly made up a story of how I had to go to Boise to help my Dad. Right when I thought I was home free with no disturbances, some jackass flushes the toilet, which was really loud. It didn't help my case any since I told them I was in my car right then. But eh, oh well, it worked and I had the next day off for the trip. So after the show, Jeff and I drove to USU since thats where Jeff's dorm was. He had school and I had no prior obligations. We would stay there for the night then the next day, ASAP, head to Boise.
We embarked on our journey at about noon to the great state of potatoes and incest. Little did we know how boring that 5 hour drive would be. We filled the gaps with inane chatter, speaking of life and any random shit that came to mind. We finally reached Boise around 4:30 or so. Boise, is quite the crappy city. There is like 4 or 5 semi tall buildings that make up downtown. There is no coordinate system and there is a ton of unnecessary one way roads. Needless to say, getting around was tough. We could not find that venue to save our souls. The traffic was horrible. Not because there is a ton of people; but because people there are apparently inept to the concept of speed and the speed limit. People drive soooooo slow. It's like time stands still as you wait for them to get to the next light. So with that, we said "fuck it," we parked on the side and walked. It proved to be much faster. We asked for directions from 2 different people, both of which told us these long complicated paths. They were both wrong. None of the directions led anywhere except for circles. It was at this point, Jeff took charge and navigated by his wits. Surprisignly enough, it got us to the venue. It was just a straight shot instead of the maze directions we were given. It was at that point we vowed to never trust people from Idaho again because they apparently love to screw you over for lack of something to do in that backward ass city. We were still very early for the show so we wondered around aimlessly for entertainment, making fun of all the small things the city ever had to off. Which wasn't much by the way. So we went back to the venue to claim our VIP tickets since it was about time for the show to start and it was then we encountered a problem. Someone fucked up because our names were not on the list for the passes. The passes just lay there in front of us behind the glass window without owners. We were supposed to get in before everyone else. But the problems persisted and all the general admission crowd got in before us. I called my dad and my dad called his boss who incidentally owned the venue and got us in after an hour and a half in the unforgiving Idaho cold. I demanded compensation for their lack of brains. All they could offer us was free food. Meeting the bands was not included in the VIP pass like my dad said, so that was an extra downer and you had to be 21 to use the full extent of the pass since it included alcohol. The show started with the same energy coming from the bands but much less coming from the crowd. People from Idaho just stood around. there was very little movement throughout the show. Sometimes people would just but if you ran into someone in what would normally be the pit, they would get all butt hurt. It was ridiculous. NO ONE IN BOISE KNEW HOW TO ROCK OUT!!!! Me and Jeff and a handful of other people proved to be the only ones who knew how to jump and get into music. It pretty much made us look stupid, but who cares. We had fun. After the show with the dull crowd but amazing bands we stood outside the back of the venue with some hope of meeting the bands. I wanted to make the trip up there worth while. I had hope of meeting the bands and was determined to make it happen. After about a half an hour of waiting like die hards, The Early November emerged. I talked with them briefly but it wasnt that great. I'm not a huge Early November fan. A little while longer, Senses Fail's drummer, Dan Trapp came out. Dan Trapp has been a huge influence in the way I play drums. I look up to him in a way. I talked to him for a while about the new album they were puttin out, our trip, and drums. It was cool to meet one of my idols. I met one of the guitarists for Senses Fail very briefly. He seemed to have no interest in talking and was brisk. Unfortunately, thats all I met of Senses Fail. Later, Chris Connely, the lead singer of Saves the Day came out. I was excited. I loved his lyrics and always hoped to be as good as he was. I talked to him and he was super cool. Just really laid back and funny. Just a real down to earth person. My night was made. I met some of my biggest idols and saw the same amazing show twice. At the stroke of midnight, that night, I turned 19. Phone calls poured in from good friends wishing me happy birthday.
At about 1 in the morning, Jeff and I decided to head back after eating some Del Taco with my dad. Jeff had to be back for class that morning. It was cold and it was boring. We started to drift asleep slowly, so I told Jeff to pull over so we could rest for an hour. So we stopped at this creepy rest stop and slept in that freezing ass car. After our short rest we were on our way and were back to talking tired jibberish in no time. After what seemed to be days, we made it back to Jeff's dorm, tired and beat, but yet happy. Jeff immediately crashed on his bed. I just went home from there. The drive back home wasn't incredibly pleasnt since I was drop dead tired. But I did make it home alive around 10 in the morning and crashed on my bed instantly. I didn't wake up for hours after that.
It was good to have a good spontaneous adventure. Definitely worth while filled with memories I won't forget. It was a good 19th birthday to see my favorite bands under one roof with my bueno amigo Jeff joining in on the craziness.

Stressed or Tired

I finally made it through my first semester of college. It could have been worse. Yet it could have been better too. I feel like a lot has been lifted off of me. But yet, with the stress of finals lifted, why is it that I feel just as stressed? I have so much on my mind I can't sort it all out. Lately, I just feel so helpless and lonely. Mostly lonely. I tell myself everyday "I don't want to feel like this anymore." "I don't want these feelings or emotions." If only it were as easy as wishing those away. My moods have been so on and off lately. It's almost as if I'm bipolar. I know I'm really not. But I can't control these overwhelming emotions that seem to hit me when I least expect. Even when I do expect them to hit, it doesn't make me anymore prepared or ready to handle it. I don't know what to do. Maybe because it's just winter, that I feel like this. I don't remember a winter where I've been happy. I'm generally depressed in the winter time. It's so easy to set me off. It's so easy to stress me out. And it doesn't help me any that I'm lonely. Lonelier than I've ever felt. I have good friends, so I'm not lonely in that aspect. I'm lonely in the fact that I have not really ever had a girl care for me deeply and I care for her just as deep in almost 2 years. Granted, I'm young and shouldn't have to worry about this sort of things too much. But feeling like you're unwanted in a way really starts to take its toll. I don't know. I just had to rant. That's all. It's not that big of a deal. I just needed to type till I ran out of thoughts.

Expired.....

Back here again to rant on what's been going on.
It's been on and off how I've been feeling. My stress level is catching up to me as school piles on and work gets worse. It seems to take very little anymore to set me off. It feels like lately that things will go right for like a day or two but it's not long before something ends up taking away anything that resembles a good mood. Plus its the holidays. My worst memories are always during November and December. Though, this commercial time of year usually means some amount of happiness, I am typically depressed during the holiday seasons. It usually has nothing to do with the holidays most of the time. Everything just seems to go wrong for me in the winter time. It's hard for me to be happy in the winter. I hate the cold. I hate the idea of walking outside because of how cold it is. I don't snowboard or ski (I used to) so the snow means nothing to me but drivers that are already horrible, turning worse. Snow=shitty people. It's like the second it snows, everyone drives likes its their last day on earth or they are attempting to escape from something. School is almost over for a while and I'm happy for that. My job however is not over. I have been interviewed for 3 seperate EKG tech jobs and all 3 have yet to call me back with an answer. It's been like a month since I've interviewed. I've called to hopefully acquire something of a result but everytime they just say they don't know. I really want to leave my job. I know I whine about this every time, but I can't stand my job. I need to leave. I fear it will be a while yet before I ever do. Women are just as shitty of an issue. The girls I always want are the ones that I can never have. The girls that want me are generally the girls I never want. I feel a dream expire everytime I have some psychotic girl throw herself at me while I hopelessly chase a couple of girls that would sooner eat a lump of cow poo covered in burnt hair and old medical waste then even think about looking my way. I'm tired of losing and getting blown off by girls. It's the same shit every year and it's as if I never actually learn despite the same reoccurring events and patterns. So now I'm just saying fuck it. I can't take it anymore. I just don't care anymore. I"m not even going to try because it's all the same.
Yeah, despite all the confusion I feel a few good things have happened. I'm starting to get back into music by starting a new band. So far it's turning out to be acoustical rock and I pretty much have amazing members in this new shin dig. I really hope that things start to get serious with it because I've needed music by having a band in my life for a long time. I have finally reached the mediocre age of 19. Which is pretty much the age of 17 all over again. Just pointless and in between with very few rights or priveleges tacked on to it. As for my new car situation, it's actually coming along. However, I don't believe I'll be getting a Mitsubishi Lancer anymore. I have now set my sights on a VW Van. Tha'ts right. A van. A damn sexy one too. Someday, you will know its power. I may have it in the next couple of weeks. So thats good. I've been volunteering at Local every chance I get. Local is a great place. It's the one place where I know I can go to and find a friend. I like volunteering. I love being apart of music. Setting up shows there, hanging out with good people. It helps out a lot.
Other than this, I'm feeling overwhelmed and out of luck. I miss the summer a lot. I miss a lot of what was, but no longer is now. I miss a lot of my old friends and friends I have now. Summer was when things were right..........I was never quite alone then.
Even though I didn't realize it at the time.