Common Cold

Here I am in the ER sick with the common cold. Don't worry, I'm in the ER as an employee not a patient. I would never go to the ER for a cold. In any case I rarely get sick and of all times to get sick, it has to be in the summer! I haven't been sick in the summer for years. I forgot how hard it is to work with a cold chipping away at your energy. Luckily for me, I'm babysitting a patient so I can absorb as much rest as possible. Bleh.

I just want this cold to go away.

Survey Questions That Suck

Yes thats right! Another blog about surveys. Yet another pathetic attempt to seem witty with an old concept I've used before. I'm an uncreative hack, ok! But this time the survey won't be one of my concoction. I have hand picked these questions from surveys I have seen the past little bit. I will then destroy these questions with my bitterness and utter disdain for humanity. Sit back and enjoy.


1.What is the last thing you put in your mouth?
Seriously, this is one of the dumbest questions I've seen on a survey in a while. Obviously made to bring out sexual inuendo. Perhaps truth. But no self-respecting person is going to honestly put for the world to see "my boyfriends cock." Or even "hmmmm I was just fooling around with my lover so I'm going to have to say that the last thing in my mouth was genitals."

2. Done anything you regret lately?
"Hmmmm, should I let the world know I did something regrettable recently? Oh geeze, all I did was kill a hooker and drive a school bus full of children into the brick side of a Wal-Mart. I guess I can say I regret that." Seriously, people blow goats. No one is going to tell you descriptively if they did something they regret lately on a damn survey. "Oh I fucked this guy that worked at a soup kitchen in a drunken stupor at 3 in the afternoon. That's not embarrassing or regrettable."

3. Do you have any secrets?
Certainly I do. I've kept them secret from my family, friends and the law but I guess I'll tell this neutral survey that will be posted for everyone I know to see. Does anyone know a person who put a dark secret on a survey out of no where so casually? Do you have any secrets? "I sure do and I'm going to let the world know on this survey that I raped a cat in front of my grandma last thanksgiving."

4. What does the (insert random number here) text say in your phone?
Even if something bad was said on the said number of text, no one is going to honestly put it up there. "Yeah the 7th text in my phone is from this girl I  that I'm dating and it says "hey cutie, when I see you tonight, be prepared. Hope you have lube handy because I'm going to have my strapon handy."

5. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
Everyone and their fucking dog has myspace. The person you are dating is likely to have access to this survey! Who would answer this question truthfully without thinking it wouldn't lead to a giant fight? Because chances are if the answer is yes, you're probably in a relationship or getting out of one. "oh yeah I'm thinking of that one guy I experimented with last week in the back of my AMC Gremlin. My girlfriend won't think that's odd at all." Get lives people and quit looking for entertaining drama on a myspace survey!

6. What are your biggest fears?
Hey myspace stalkers, let me share with you my deepest fears in public so you can one day use them against me when I'm alone at home. I'm deathly afraid of people in hockey masks and butcher knives and people with the intent to rape me. Fuck people. Really.

7. Do you wish any of your ex's would die?
A bad break up is one thing, but wishing for your ex to die I think is going too far. That's a pretty strong wish. There's very few instances I can think of  where I feel that such feelings would even be remotely appropriate. Such as smothering your old man in his sleep while you microwave a hot pocket downstairs completely oblivious. Or maybe even if your ex crashed your car, stole your money, used it to fund terrorist feminists, left unidentifiable body fluids on all your pillows, and took advantage of your drunk sibling during a board game themed sleepover. Seriously, even if you wish your ex would die, keep that shit to yourself anyway you moron. You're screwed up, get help.

8.Is cheating ever okay?
Here is another question that guarantees a fight with someone your close with (dating, relationship, etc) Does anyone expect someone to answer that question with "Only if that person is incredibly hot and easy and knows how to keep a secret."

9. Ever laughed so hard you shit your pants?
This is the type of question, if answered yes, that signals to everyone else "let's never be friends." I can't think of a single instance where I might have shit myself as a result of something being incredibly humorous. If someone I didn't know well told me they shit themselves because they laughed hard, I would immediately evacuate the area so I'm no where near their pants-shitting personality. Who knows, I might just tell the golden joke and have a mess on my hands. No one would ever answer that truthfully.

10. Do you hate anything about yourself?
People who like to share their insecurities that openly are just asking to get destroyed by someone at the nearest opportune time. "I hate my nose and the way my mom calls me fat." Somehow they are surprised when someone uses it against them when they do something stupid. As if they weren't even supposed to know! "Well your nose is big and fat and your mom is right about you, you are fat." Oh No, all the things I hate about myself being used against me. How could that have been prevented. Oh life is pain!



So what I'm getting across here is, stop looking for interesting drama or facts about people on their surveys. What do you expect?! I mean seriously? No one answers the really personal questions. Stop wasting your time thinking you're going to find something juicy about someone you probably barely know. Now that I've destroyed your fun and hopes. I will return to working the remainder of my shift.

Warm Weather at Last

I'm happy that it's actually warm outside again. This has been the coldest June I can ever remember. I'm ready for warm and hot weather. I like being able to walk outside at any time of the day without layers of clothing or worrying how long I have before I start to freeze.

It's good to see the sun. :)

Up in Logan for the Moment

I'm currently at Logan Regional Hospital sitting in the cafeteria anxiously awaiting for my basic life support class to start. It's currently 0935. I'm rarely awake at this time of. It's been a while since I've seen what a morning sun looks like. Believe me, there is a difference. I had to take a sleep aid last night in hopes that it might help me bypass my graveyard sleep schedule so I can wake up early. Wake up roughly around the time I'm actually supposed to go to sleep. It worked a little bit, though I could feel my body fighting the medicine. Every move I would make sleep would wake me up for a minute or so then put me asleep. After about 4 hours of sleep, I woke up and could no longer sleep. My sleep meds were defeated by my bodies sleep clock by 4 hours! (the medicine is supposed to knock you out for 8 hours) I was a little woozy waking up at first, but once I got going it wasn't so bad.

Driving up to Logan to get my BLS was not my first choice. If I could have, I would have done it somewhere else closer to me. But I need it done so I take my advanced life support classes. I haven't been up to Logan in years. The last time I went was 2 years ago when I stayed in Jeff's dorm the night before the Senses Fail show in Boise. Logan has long since been deemed "The Great White North" by either Jeff or his roommate Mike. It's always cold up here with snow. I half expected to get out of my car and wrestle a polar bear to save my life. Perhaps even take its life with a miniature pocket knife. But much to my surprise, it was warm and quite the beautiful drive to. Every time I have been here, it's always been snowy insanely cold. I have not been looking forward to driving up here. I thought it would have been cold and terribly boring. Though it is terribly boring, I'm not half as disappointed as I thought I would be. I thought the hospital would be a lot smaller and lamer. But it's actually very friendly and sociable. I can see the appeal of retiring here one day as a doctor or nurse. Just a small community hospital where nothing is really terribly wrong. But for now, I'm too impatient for slow or nothing going wrong. I need to be at a hospital where there is something wrong with people.

The point is, I'm not disappointed with this place. I could wind up at a place like this when I'm older and ready to slow down. Though, I can't quite figure out why anyone would put a major university in this small godforsaken town. If I was from out of state going here, I would have to kill someone. I would be full of rage from the extreme amount of boredom and full of hate for myself for choosing a podunk town to go to school in.

That is all. I must now go to my class. Peace and love!

I Graduated Three Years Ago? Really?

It's strange to think that I graduated high school three years ago. I look back on how much has changed since then. I look back and see how much I've grown as a person. I reflect on my failures and my accomplishments. With my successes, I feel a great sense of pride. With my failures, I feel as though I have let myself down. In some ways, I have exceeded my expectations of where I hoped to be and who I hoped to be. In many ways, I have disappointed myself with what I haven't done or should have done.

At the time, being 18 seemed so hard. I never saw myself as a kid then. Rather, I saw myself as a maturing adult scared to step into the real world. Now, when I meet or run into 18 year olds, I can't help but think how childish and naive many of them are. So confident they have the real world figured out. So confident that they learned everything about reality in the safety net of high school. High school was by no means fun or care free for me. But I never realized how much of the real world was filtered. Not so much by high school but my self. In high school, it was easy to hide behind the fact you were too young to care about the things that otherwise scared you.

I wouldn't say my high school days were "simpler times." But there was some good and memorable times. I for one have moved on and let go of those years. I have met several people who still wish they were in high school, being a careless teenager, "having the time of their life." I personally can't understand why so many people carry a torch for their high school days. Being a teenager was like being an overgrown emotional 8 year old. Still a kid but still learning. Young enough to get away with stupid shit but old enough to probably know better. Reckless and arrogant. If you didn't get the person you had a major crush on, it made you sad. If your parents punished you for something, it ruined your day.

I thought of all the people who have passed through my life since my senior year recently. I thought about who had an impact on me and why. I thought about the ones who made me learn powerful life lessons. I thought of the ones who were gone as soon as the came. I thought of the ones who were in my life that left, but wished they stayed. I thought of the ones that I let go. Most of all I thought of the ones who have stayed since I left high school. The ones that still care and stayed with me through it all. I thought of all of those people and realized that much of who I am now is because of them, regardless of the result of their coming into my life.

Overall am I happy with myself? I guess I could say that. But realizing all of these harsh realities of what I have and haven't become has become a brutal reminder of how short life truly is. I wanted to do so much the first few years out of how high school. I have barely found the time or money to do many of the things I wanted to do. Being 21 seemed so far away then. When I pictured myself being 21, I pictured a young confident man. Successful. Put together. Now that I am actually 21, the only certain thing is that I am a young man. I'm still trying to put things together and I'm still trying to build the confidence to go where I want to go in life.