As with every year, it's hard to imagine that the year 2008 had gone by so quickly for most people. I don't think it went by particularly quick or slow for me. However, I always feel compelled to recap my year as I have done so the past 3 years. So here it goes.
Reaching back to the end of 2007, one year ago today, was the end of an era. I had barely finished moving in the remainder of my stuff from the apartment. My room was a crowded mess full of boxes. It was slightly depressing to say the least. Later that night, me, Nicole, Scott, Jeff, Alexis and Brennon got together to hang out. After a couple of games of hyper homoerotic bowling, we headed back to my parent's house. I can't remember who, but someone felt the need to bring peppermint Schnops and set it on my kitchen table. Briefly we watched the new year be brought in New York on tv. It was a joyus occassion for all. I started back in school and went to work. I sold my VW bus to some guy for 1200 dollars in February. I felt slightly bad about it, because I knew it was bound to break down at any moment. A week or two later, my beloved Geo Metro blew out one of its 3 cylinders on the way back home from work. The memory was dead. For a few weeks I drove my parents car to work while feverishly looking for a new one. Eventually I settled on my Nissan Sentra SE-R. Woot. In April I noticed I was getting insanely out of shape. Brennon and I took it upon ourselves to run for 4 days and eventually lift. This went on for almost 3 months much to our credit. Only to be thrown off by Memorial weekend. We never went back to pick up where we left off. RJ got married in June/July. June was the month we all looked forward to. Jeff and I went to Brennon's cabin overnight for his birthday. It was spontaneous and yet a good relaxed time. Then, me and my best friends went to Vegas for 3 days of awesomeness at the Golden Nugget Casino in Old Vegas. It was a much needed vacation since I was working 4-5 days a week to build up some money. Upon return, I went back to working that ridiculous schedule for a month and a half. Speaking of work, things had gotten better for me there. I came out of my shell a little bit and got to know everyone. It helped me greatly to finally not be so awkward in the workplace by being nearly silent all the time. I had learned a great deal and got to do a great deal. From defibrillating a patient to putting in a 14 gauge IV in a ridiculous drunk. Plus I got a stack of ridiculous nicknames in the process. My work has served as my greatest inspiration to go to medical school. I have also aquired my ACLS/PALS/BLS instructor certifications as well. I would start another daunting semester that would be difficult but good at the same time. I would also interview for a research position for emergency/trauma/critical care medicine in October. My 22nd birthday would come around. I celebrated it at midnight at work with a good bunch of coworkers. This featured a cupcake with a sterile q-tip lit on fire for a candle, pizza, and a relaxing time. Later that weekend, my best friends surprised me at a random party with a cake and gifts (thank you Nicole!) It was good to see all my good friends under one roof. I got drunk for the first time in ages that night off of cheap beer. Matt's large party of craziness would serve as another rare time when all the guys were under one roof. A crazy night to remember indeed. I spent most of this month working.
All in all, I would call 2008 a success. It was a year of stability and learning for me. I learned a lot about myself and what I needed to accomplish. What I wanted out of life. Thinking about it now, it makes me miss the apartment all over again now that it's been a year to the day I moved back in at home. Not that it has been bad, but I miss my best friends and the independence from home. Thank you all who made this year as enriching as it was. Here is to 2009! May it be a yearof good times and better memories.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
A Blog Without Pictures
A few people have asked me recently why I don't have pictures on my blog. I guess I have never really stopped to think to put them on. As I look at other peoples blogs, I find that they almost always have pictures. I only have one blog in this entire year that has pictures. Hmmm.
Perhaps I will consider putting up some pictures here later this year for my blogs. Not that it really matters. I think only 2 or three people read my blog to begin with. But I'm a crowd pleaser.
Perhaps I will consider putting up some pictures here later this year for my blogs. Not that it really matters. I think only 2 or three people read my blog to begin with. But I'm a crowd pleaser.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Lonely People
Whenever I stop and just listen to people, I find myself woefully taken back by what some have to say about their lives. Typically I find that the people who are most depressing are the single ones looking desperately for someone. I hear ridiculous over-dramatic phrases such as, "I need to find my other half," or "I'm destined to be single forever!"
I hate such talk. I think it's such a waste of thought and emotion. Granted, being lonely can really suck. But I feel that people are selling themselves short by looking for their "other half." Why would you consider yourself half a person without someone else? And furthermore, why would you want someone who only considers themselves as half a person without someone else? Doesn't that sound hollow or depressing to anyone else? I frankly, have never thought of myself as half a person in need of the other piece. I've always thought of myself as one whole person despite my faults and flaws. How does any relationship function on the grounds of "I'm only half a person capable of only functioning fully if another person I consider my other half completes me." I wouldn't want to function on the basis of you are me, and I'm you because we are one complete person together. It seems sad that you need another person to be one whole legitimate human being. Wouldn't it make more sense to have someone who also thought of themselves as one person and not half? Being two whole people, hence being a couple and not one.
I don't know why I felt compelled to write this down. It has no real effect on me whether these people find someone else or whether they see themselves as half or one. But I guess it's the logic in me that finds it depressing that people think of themselves as half a person. What's the point of love if you can't fully appreciate yourself first? Then again, I get thinking about all the people I see come through the ER. There is definitely some people who really are half a person and the people they are with are definitely half a person. (or less in many situations.) I don't see a lot of hobos raking in playboy bunnies or supermodels. I'm mostly referring to regular people who sell themselves short. Maybe it's because it's their means of getting attention. Maybe it's because they just don't have much self-esteem. Perhaps it makes some of them feel better to be part of a puzzle rather than part of an elaborate game.
I hate such talk. I think it's such a waste of thought and emotion. Granted, being lonely can really suck. But I feel that people are selling themselves short by looking for their "other half." Why would you consider yourself half a person without someone else? And furthermore, why would you want someone who only considers themselves as half a person without someone else? Doesn't that sound hollow or depressing to anyone else? I frankly, have never thought of myself as half a person in need of the other piece. I've always thought of myself as one whole person despite my faults and flaws. How does any relationship function on the grounds of "I'm only half a person capable of only functioning fully if another person I consider my other half completes me." I wouldn't want to function on the basis of you are me, and I'm you because we are one complete person together. It seems sad that you need another person to be one whole legitimate human being. Wouldn't it make more sense to have someone who also thought of themselves as one person and not half? Being two whole people, hence being a couple and not one.
I don't know why I felt compelled to write this down. It has no real effect on me whether these people find someone else or whether they see themselves as half or one. But I guess it's the logic in me that finds it depressing that people think of themselves as half a person. What's the point of love if you can't fully appreciate yourself first? Then again, I get thinking about all the people I see come through the ER. There is definitely some people who really are half a person and the people they are with are definitely half a person. (or less in many situations.) I don't see a lot of hobos raking in playboy bunnies or supermodels. I'm mostly referring to regular people who sell themselves short. Maybe it's because it's their means of getting attention. Maybe it's because they just don't have much self-esteem. Perhaps it makes some of them feel better to be part of a puzzle rather than part of an elaborate game.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Things That Piss Me Off
The past two months I have been annoyed by numerous things. I have been bothered to the point where I now feel compelled to write about it at 5 in the morning. Here is my small list of "Things That Consistently Piss Me Off."
1. Psych Majors.
I have nothing against psych majors in general. However, I do have something against the conversations 98% of them tend to bring up.
Example:
Dumbass: I love psychology. It's so interesting. Don't you think it's interesting?
Me: No. Not really to be honest.
Dumbass: What?!?! You don't find it interesting? How can you not find it interesting? It's so cool and awesome! (Note: This reaction is, for some reason, very common. They act as if I had cut deep into their emotional fabric and scarred them for life with my proverbial "blasphemous" comment.)
Me: I don't know. I guess it's kind of interesting to read about. But not enough for me to base my education off of it.
Dumbass: But......But....... You can find out why people are fucked up! That's so cool. (As if that's the golden pursuit of all happiness.)
Seriously, I don't care why people are fucked up. I don't are to find out why they are depressed. I don't care to find out why people like Ted Bundy, or Marilyn Manson are the way they are. Point is, they are going to be fucked up whether I understand why or not. Insensitive? Maybe. However, the majority of people who come up with this argument are generally a little messed up themselves. They go looking for answers about why it is they are depressed or sad, etc. As much as I hate to say it, the answers to your personal problems aren't in psychology textbooks.
2. People Who Say "I Want to be a Baby Doctor" Followed by an Annoying Giggle
It sounds small and ridiculous. But it's the situation that bothers me.
Me: What are you studying to do?
Dumbass 2: I want to be a baby doctor (followed by smile and annoying giggle)
Me: You mean a pediatrician?
Dumbass 2: Yeah but that's such a big word I don't want to confuse you.
Me: You're right. That big word is confusing to people under the age of 3. However you're talking to an adult. We can say pediatrician. Are you going to school right now?
Dumbass 2: No. I'm waiting to see if I get the manager position at (insert dead end job here). That's where I work. If that doesn't work THEN I'll go to med school. But I don't know. I heard being a doctor is really hard.
I kid you not, I have had several conversations similar to this one. Where do I start with this one? I've already pointed out the ignorance of the "pediatric" part. Let's start with the "I'm not going to school right now" part. Honestly, if you're highest ambition is to be the manager of a seafood restaurant and being a doctor is your back up, then don't try. And of course, being a doctor is hard. It's designed to be hard to keep people like you from becoming doctors.
3. Being a Medical Examiner Makes Me More Unique Than Everyone Else
Same situation as above.
Me: What are you studying to do?
Dumbass 3: I want to be a medical examiner. Playing with dead people is awesome. I know I sound weird but I'm unique because of it.
Me: Are you in school right now?
Dumbass 3: Well school is really hard but I heard of (insert ridiculous nonexistent shortcut through med school and residency here) But if that doesn't work, then I guess I'll go to school and apply to med school.
Me: Why do you want to be an M.E?
Dumbass: Because you get to deal with messed up things that messed up people do. It's fun. (This person is also usually a psych major.)
Wrong. Sorry dumbass. There is no shortcuts. While you're being Shitty Mcshitstein, about you're life, and fantasizing about being a more violent version of the Hardy Boys; real people are actually out going to school to achieve that job.
4. Journalism Majors Who Say "I'm Going to Change the World With My Stories"
No, no you're not. The events themselves change the world, not the story you report. Yes, the war is sad. Yes, catching sexual predators is bold and shocking. But no, your "hard-hitting news story" does not change how the world functions forever. I don't remember the last time Dan Rather, Ed Bradley, Ted Coppel, Peter Jennings, the local weatherman, the local newscast, or anything remotely news related changed my life. The event, at most, touched or maybe vaguely affected my life. Your tone of voice isn't going to change the world. Your punchline isn't going to change the world.
In short, I hate delusional people. Even though there is a good chance I may not be a doctor, even if I try my hardest, I will know I had at least tried. I will also know that it's not the end of the line for me. I can try PA school or nursing school. All of the situations above I have encountered multiple times. Had to vent somehow. Sorry if anyone was remotely offended. (kind of)
1. Psych Majors.
I have nothing against psych majors in general. However, I do have something against the conversations 98% of them tend to bring up.
Example:
Dumbass: I love psychology. It's so interesting. Don't you think it's interesting?
Me: No. Not really to be honest.
Dumbass: What?!?! You don't find it interesting? How can you not find it interesting? It's so cool and awesome! (Note: This reaction is, for some reason, very common. They act as if I had cut deep into their emotional fabric and scarred them for life with my proverbial "blasphemous" comment.)
Me: I don't know. I guess it's kind of interesting to read about. But not enough for me to base my education off of it.
Dumbass: But......But....... You can find out why people are fucked up! That's so cool. (As if that's the golden pursuit of all happiness.)
Seriously, I don't care why people are fucked up. I don't are to find out why they are depressed. I don't care to find out why people like Ted Bundy, or Marilyn Manson are the way they are. Point is, they are going to be fucked up whether I understand why or not. Insensitive? Maybe. However, the majority of people who come up with this argument are generally a little messed up themselves. They go looking for answers about why it is they are depressed or sad, etc. As much as I hate to say it, the answers to your personal problems aren't in psychology textbooks.
2. People Who Say "I Want to be a Baby Doctor" Followed by an Annoying Giggle
It sounds small and ridiculous. But it's the situation that bothers me.
Me: What are you studying to do?
Dumbass 2: I want to be a baby doctor (followed by smile and annoying giggle)
Me: You mean a pediatrician?
Dumbass 2: Yeah but that's such a big word I don't want to confuse you.
Me: You're right. That big word is confusing to people under the age of 3. However you're talking to an adult. We can say pediatrician. Are you going to school right now?
Dumbass 2: No. I'm waiting to see if I get the manager position at (insert dead end job here). That's where I work. If that doesn't work THEN I'll go to med school. But I don't know. I heard being a doctor is really hard.
I kid you not, I have had several conversations similar to this one. Where do I start with this one? I've already pointed out the ignorance of the "pediatric" part. Let's start with the "I'm not going to school right now" part. Honestly, if you're highest ambition is to be the manager of a seafood restaurant and being a doctor is your back up, then don't try. And of course, being a doctor is hard. It's designed to be hard to keep people like you from becoming doctors.
3. Being a Medical Examiner Makes Me More Unique Than Everyone Else
Same situation as above.
Me: What are you studying to do?
Dumbass 3: I want to be a medical examiner. Playing with dead people is awesome. I know I sound weird but I'm unique because of it.
Me: Are you in school right now?
Dumbass 3: Well school is really hard but I heard of (insert ridiculous nonexistent shortcut through med school and residency here) But if that doesn't work, then I guess I'll go to school and apply to med school.
Me: Why do you want to be an M.E?
Dumbass: Because you get to deal with messed up things that messed up people do. It's fun. (This person is also usually a psych major.)
Wrong. Sorry dumbass. There is no shortcuts. While you're being Shitty Mcshitstein, about you're life, and fantasizing about being a more violent version of the Hardy Boys; real people are actually out going to school to achieve that job.
4. Journalism Majors Who Say "I'm Going to Change the World With My Stories"
No, no you're not. The events themselves change the world, not the story you report. Yes, the war is sad. Yes, catching sexual predators is bold and shocking. But no, your "hard-hitting news story" does not change how the world functions forever. I don't remember the last time Dan Rather, Ed Bradley, Ted Coppel, Peter Jennings, the local weatherman, the local newscast, or anything remotely news related changed my life. The event, at most, touched or maybe vaguely affected my life. Your tone of voice isn't going to change the world. Your punchline isn't going to change the world.
In short, I hate delusional people. Even though there is a good chance I may not be a doctor, even if I try my hardest, I will know I had at least tried. I will also know that it's not the end of the line for me. I can try PA school or nursing school. All of the situations above I have encountered multiple times. Had to vent somehow. Sorry if anyone was remotely offended. (kind of)
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