Things That Piss Me Off

The past two months I have been annoyed by numerous things. I have been bothered to the point where I now feel compelled to write about it at 5 in the morning. Here is my small list of "Things That Consistently Piss Me Off."

1. Psych Majors.
I have nothing against psych majors in general. However, I do have something against the conversations 98% of them tend to bring up.

Example:
Dumbass: I love psychology. It's so interesting. Don't you think it's interesting?
Me: No. Not really to be honest.
Dumbass: What?!?! You don't find it interesting? How can you not find it interesting? It's so cool and awesome! (Note: This reaction is, for some reason, very common. They act as if I had cut deep into their emotional fabric and scarred them for life with my proverbial "blasphemous" comment.)
Me: I don't know. I guess it's kind of interesting to read about. But not enough for me to base my education off of it.
Dumbass: But......But....... You can find out why people are fucked up! That's so cool. (As if that's the golden pursuit of all happiness.)

Seriously, I don't care why people are fucked up. I don't are to find out why they are depressed. I don't care to find out why people like Ted Bundy, or Marilyn Manson are the way they are. Point is, they are going to be fucked up whether I understand why or not. Insensitive? Maybe. However, the majority of people who come up with this argument are generally a little messed up themselves. They go looking for answers about why it is they are depressed or sad, etc. As much as I hate to say it, the answers to your personal problems aren't in psychology textbooks.

2. People Who Say "I Want to be a Baby Doctor" Followed by an Annoying Giggle
It sounds small and ridiculous. But it's the situation that bothers me.

Me: What are you studying to do?
Dumbass 2: I want to be a baby doctor (followed by smile and annoying giggle)
Me: You mean a pediatrician?
Dumbass 2: Yeah but that's such a big word I don't want to confuse you.
Me: You're right. That big word is confusing to people under the age of 3. However you're talking to an adult. We can say pediatrician. Are you going to school right now?
Dumbass 2: No. I'm waiting to see if I get the manager position at (insert dead end job here). That's where I work. If that doesn't work THEN I'll go to med school. But I don't know. I heard being a doctor is really hard.

I kid you not, I have had several conversations similar to this one. Where do I start with this one? I've already pointed out the ignorance of the "pediatric" part. Let's start with the "I'm not going to school right now" part. Honestly, if you're highest ambition is to be the manager of a seafood restaurant and being a doctor is your back up, then don't try. And of course, being a doctor is hard. It's designed to be hard to keep people like you from becoming doctors.

3. Being a Medical Examiner Makes Me More Unique Than Everyone Else
Same situation as above.

Me: What are you studying to do?
Dumbass 3: I want to be a medical examiner. Playing with dead people is awesome. I know I sound weird but I'm unique because of it.
Me: Are you in school right now?
Dumbass 3: Well school is really hard but I heard of (insert ridiculous nonexistent shortcut through med school and residency here) But if that doesn't work, then I guess I'll go to school and apply to med school.
Me: Why do you want to be an M.E?
Dumbass: Because you get to deal with messed up things that messed up people do. It's fun. (This person is also usually a psych major.)

Wrong. Sorry dumbass. There is no shortcuts. While you're being Shitty Mcshitstein, about you're life, and fantasizing about being a more violent version of the Hardy Boys; real people are actually out going to school to achieve that job.

4. Journalism Majors Who Say "I'm Going to Change the World With My Stories"
No, no you're not. The events themselves change the world, not the story you report. Yes, the war is sad. Yes, catching sexual predators is bold and shocking. But no, your "hard-hitting news story" does not change how the world functions forever. I don't remember the last time Dan Rather, Ed Bradley, Ted Coppel, Peter Jennings, the local weatherman, the local newscast, or anything remotely news related changed my life. The event, at most, touched or maybe vaguely affected my life. Your tone of voice isn't going to change the world. Your punchline isn't going to change the world.

In short, I hate delusional people. Even though there is a good chance I may not be a doctor, even if I try my hardest, I will know I had at least tried. I will also know that it's not the end of the line for me. I can try PA school or nursing school. All of the situations above I have encountered multiple times. Had to vent somehow. Sorry if anyone was remotely offended. (kind of)