Pirates of Hollywood and the Sell-Out Mystery Curse

It's strange how Disney is associated with family oriented fun devoid of swearing, sex, and violence. I had felt the same way until I saw Pirates of the Carribean 3. Despite the lack of profanity, I thought it was one of the most violent films I had seen since Saving Private Ryan. More people died in that movie than all 3 Robocop movies combined. Rambo looked like one of the Care Bears and James Bond was just a mere fart in the wind. Just because its a Disney film does not mean it is not violent. Shootings, stabbings, decapitations, impaling, and horribly drowning were the main themes of this movie. Though the story was mildly captivating, it just didn't have that Disney theme where it taught kids good values or morals (but rarely both) You will not see these lessons in this movie

1. Do not kill unhygenic bearded men
2. Don't hate the British
3. Don't distrust the British
4. Stabbing people repeatedly is bad
5. Hanging people is bad
6. Prostitution is typically unacceptable
7. Pirate sex is 17th century slang for STD's
8. Lying is bad
9. Don't distrust women

Apparently the people who rated the movie felt the lack of blood was not enough to warrant it as violence. The sexual inuendos were overlooked. And the overall poor writing and ending were enough to make it so it should never be seen by the public again.

I loved the part where they captured the voodoo woman and she suddenly grows 10x her size. Apparently cursed pirate voodoo values censorship and made it so her clothes adjusted to her outrageous overgrowth. Despite being 10x her size, she failed to be 10x her weight and did not sink the ship or break through the floor she stood on. Physics were defied. I'm sure back in the 1700's a black woman bent on revenge growing 10x her size was feared as equivalent to the apocolypse. Disney writers felt that it would have been wrong to touch on racism or slurs used at the time and decided to focus more on things that were less offensive like exploding people and stabbing anything with two feet. At that point she turned into a pile of crabs that collapsed upon the pirate crew. It sent a stern message that oversized pirate women (though powerful and somewhat angry) will make it so that you have to purchase specially prescribed shampoos and combs for a solid month. Combing through your pumpkin patch is no laughing matter.

Then something cool happens. Pirates gather. Flags raise. All this creative build up in the movie gets you pumped for a large battle. Then nothing happens except for an upclose fight featuring an unlimited crew twice the size of the ships they serve. Witty banter is exchanged in the fighting quite happily despite the fact everyone in the background appears to be suffering a variety of horrible deaths. A few more people die for about half an hour then it wraps up in the usual Disney way that just leaves you full of ambition to get your money back.

Overall, not a bad movie. Though the plot is completely ludicrous. Ludicrous to the point where the writers could have thrown ET in there and it still could have worked. I just hope they don't make a 4th one like it was hinted about the fountain of youth. If you're excited for this, please do yourself a favor and do not allow yourself to be taken by this false emotion. Allow me to predict the outcome of that movie. Everyone goes to Florida to find the fountain of youth. Ponce de Leon will be there already. He will be young, attractive, decieving and full of angst because he won't allow himself to die. He will then warn everyone that it has a pirates curse (which will never be explained). Cutting to the chase through a poorly written plot, Orlando Bloom will cleverly kill Ponce de Leon, like drowing him in the fountain of youth. Johnny Depp will stumble about clumsily for 2 hours, break the curse of the fountain in a semi-humorous fashion. Somewhere in the mix of this Kiera Knightley will have sex with Orlando Bloom and the easily forgettable background characters will say just as easily forgettable witty lines. The end will feature a hint for a 5th one featuring the curse of the new world and an ancient Native American treasure. Squanto will somehow have a role as a main character.

Oh and Keith Richards is Jack Sparrow's father in the 3rd one, Which is weird. His natural ghoulish looks and personality should have landed him a character as an evil ghost. But oh well, beggers can't be choosers.



Enjoy.

Life As I Lived It

I remember when I was 18, I had ambitions of starting a new band and touring the United States. It was all so perfect in my mind. The only flaw was that I was alone in this. For the next 8 months following graduating from high school, I desperately tried to get a group of people together to jam with. Part of the problem was that it was always poorly planned. The other part of the problem was that I was recruiting notoriously flaky people for bandmates. Then one day, I just stopped trying. I decided that I should keep going to work and school. At the time I was still working in Dietary at Cottonwood Hospital and went to school only because I knew my dad would kill me if didn't.

It's strange to think I left Cottonwood Hospital about a year from this day ago. Since then I've had 3 different medical jobs. As much as I hated that job and 80% of the people associated with it, I can't help but admit that it helped get me to where I am now. True, I'm more or less an underpaid pawn, lackey, jockey, etc, etc.

I didn't think of the future very much then. Come to think of it, I don't think about it very much now. It all seems too hazy to think about now. Much is left to be uncertain. Though, when I daydream about the future, I don't see anything realistic. I mostly see myself being 35 with low ambitions to move to a Southern state under the alias of J.W. Clifton. An uneducated, wealthy Southern gentlemen. I would talk about the weather, cotton farming and a longing for General Robert E. Lee to rise to presidency to clean up the yankees.

I have learned a lot from my past experiences. They have helped me sculpt my future experiences. I would like to share a few small pieces of advice I have concocted the past year. I hope they find you well.



Choose your friends carefully. They can sometimes represent you more than you represent yourself.

If you love like you've never been hurt, then you never learn. If you love like you've been scarred, then you never trust. If you love too selectively, then nothing is good enough. If you love too easily, then you get taken advantage of. If you love with all your sincerity and heart, and everything still goes wrong, love anyway. You can't always win, but love isn't about winning and losing. It's about knowing that at one point or another in your life, you cared about someone more than yourself.

Forget the people who tried to hurt you, forgive the ones who did. But always remember what happened, it won't be the last time someone else tries to hurt you the same way.

Hate, pity, and jealousy are poisons that consume and change people for life. Happiness, kindness, and love are shades of light that are seen the most and remembered the least.

If you don't learn patience, how do you ever expect to wait for the right person?

Dreams can be followed or they can be captured. How much do they really mean to you?

Be kind often, but not condenscending.

You can't expect people to thank you for helping make them who they are now. At the most, all you can hope for is that the role you played in their life was for the better.

If you hold on too tight to anything for too long, it will still escape.

If you don't hold on to anything, you can't expect to progress.

If you believe in something else more than yourself, you can't expect your endeavors to just "work out."

There's a difference between arrogance and confidence. If you don't bother to tell the difference, you may be misjudging someone.



That's just a small amount of things I have learned. Maybe again I will share more.

Thanks.