I remember when I was 18, I had ambitions of starting a new band and touring the United States. It was all so perfect in my mind. The only flaw was that I was alone in this. For the next 8 months following graduating from high school, I desperately tried to get a group of people together to jam with. Part of the problem was that it was always poorly planned. The other part of the problem was that I was recruiting notoriously flaky people for bandmates. Then one day, I just stopped trying. I decided that I should keep going to work and school. At the time I was still working in Dietary at Cottonwood Hospital and went to school only because I knew my dad would kill me if didn't.
It's strange to think I left Cottonwood Hospital about a year from this day ago. Since then I've had 3 different medical jobs. As much as I hated that job and 80% of the people associated with it, I can't help but admit that it helped get me to where I am now. True, I'm more or less an underpaid pawn, lackey, jockey, etc, etc.
I didn't think of the future very much then. Come to think of it, I don't think about it very much now. It all seems too hazy to think about now. Much is left to be uncertain. Though, when I daydream about the future, I don't see anything realistic. I mostly see myself being 35 with low ambitions to move to a Southern state under the alias of J.W. Clifton. An uneducated, wealthy Southern gentlemen. I would talk about the weather, cotton farming and a longing for General Robert E. Lee to rise to presidency to clean up the yankees.
I have learned a lot from my past experiences. They have helped me sculpt my future experiences. I would like to share a few small pieces of advice I have concocted the past year. I hope they find you well.
Choose your friends carefully. They can sometimes represent you more than you represent yourself.
If you love like you've never been hurt, then you never learn. If you love like you've been scarred, then you never trust. If you love too selectively, then nothing is good enough. If you love too easily, then you get taken advantage of. If you love with all your sincerity and heart, and everything still goes wrong, love anyway. You can't always win, but love isn't about winning and losing. It's about knowing that at one point or another in your life, you cared about someone more than yourself.
Forget the people who tried to hurt you, forgive the ones who did. But always remember what happened, it won't be the last time someone else tries to hurt you the same way.
Hate, pity, and jealousy are poisons that consume and change people for life. Happiness, kindness, and love are shades of light that are seen the most and remembered the least.
If you don't learn patience, how do you ever expect to wait for the right person?
Dreams can be followed or they can be captured. How much do they really mean to you?
Be kind often, but not condenscending.
You can't expect people to thank you for helping make them who they are now. At the most, all you can hope for is that the role you played in their life was for the better.
If you hold on too tight to anything for too long, it will still escape.
If you don't hold on to anything, you can't expect to progress.
If you believe in something else more than yourself, you can't expect your endeavors to just "work out."
There's a difference between arrogance and confidence. If you don't bother to tell the difference, you may be misjudging someone.
That's just a small amount of things I have learned. Maybe again I will share more.
Thanks.
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