Honestly, thats just ridiculous

Ok, this just came to mind and right now I'm seeing it happen as I type this. People who put THEMSELVES through the drama, the moping, the self-loathing, all the situations they are in now. They put themselves through it and expect people to give a shit how they feel. They create the pain and emotion they are feeling. It's almost as if a couple of them sabotage themselves. Honestly, grow the fuck up. The truth is, the real world doesn't give a shit about how someone dumped you and you don't have the will to move on because it was everything you depended on. Reality doesn't care you're unmotivated and lazy. Every now and then you get the pity card from sympathetic individuals but how long will it last before everyone realizes that you are just immature, attention starved, and personality-less? I know at one point or the other we have all done this. No one is perfect and everyone needs attention in one way or the other. But there are people who do this every damn day and they should be old enough to know better by now. When the world comes down, it comes down so hard. I know that. Everyone knows that. But that is no excuse to be lifeless and immature. You can still live life no matter what happens. I understand there is some circumstances like divorce or a death that is just plain old painful. But I know people who are going through that, its no fun. But they manage to still be an individual and move on with their lives. And don't even get me started on pathological liars who make up their life as they go with stories that defy the laws of physics and probability. If you are that damn lifeless and insecure that you have to make up stories to make yourself seem interesting, do yourself a favor (and everyone else who has to listen to it) and get a life. Life is only what you make it. Get out there. Make life interesting for yourself. For some of you, that's easier said than done because those people haven't lived a day in their life in their own actual skin. And let's not forget about the people who hold stupid grudges just because they are 1. jealous. 2. anal beyond reason. 3 attention starved. Just let it go. There are 3 powerful forces in life and that's love, hate and forgiveness. Most people only know about love and hate because forgiveness is too much ask. They can't let go of the one thing they created. Life is too short to be this way. Stop sabotaging yourself, stop throwing pity parties, stop being a negative salty bitch, because the only people who care after you graduate are those closest to you. And even then the people closest to you stop caring because they have figured it out and get tired of hearing about the same old shit, slightly different story every day. After you graduate, shit like that doesn't fly.
I'm sure most of you know someone who is like this or was at one point or the other. Hell, maybe even you're like this and you haven't come to terms with who you are yet. In any case, I don't mean to be a dick. I just look around and see too much of it. It's almost depressing that shit like this keeps people from living life. And don't let anyone ever tell you that they are happy the way they are despite the constant complaints of loneliness, hate, grudges, and constant self pity. They are clearly not happy and are playing just a lame ass game to get attention. Kind of like reverse psychology.
I admit, sometimes I am not always the most positive person in the world. And I am also willing to admit that I was once like this.............when I was 16 or 17. I try to keep a positive mind the best I can despite my circumstances. To be honest, I haven't been happier despite being broke as shit and in debt up to my ears. I've just accepted that life is life. Shit will happen. I will feel like shit. I will make others feel like shit. Shit will happen that's out of my control. But that's just life. Accept it and stop dwelling on "what could have been" and "what should have been." The point is the past is the past. There is nothing you can change there. EVER! Just live your life now and don't worry about back then. All that matters is that you're here now and what you do with your life with every second matters.

Besides, you only live once

(unless you're Buddhist or you believe in reincarnation, then you live forever)

Here We Go Again!

This is my life update as of now. Nothing too exciting I suppose. But I usually write one every month thinking at least one person cares. Besides, why break tradition?
For the first time in my life, I'm in financial trouble. I havent been broke since I was 17 when I had my first job at the pizza place in the mall. I never had money. (partly because I had a girlfriend at the time too) But since January I've spent so much money and I've had nothing to show for it. I'm usually really good with my money. I just don't know what has happened. Now I'm in debt for the first time and I have so much to pay for and so little money to do it. Money is a bitch. I'd like to think that I'm not in this position because of me. How I wish that was true. ha ha. It really sucks.
A piece of this kind of goes in hand with my job. I hate my job with a deep passion. I feel like I do the most meaningless work. Granted, I do get paid more than some of my friends for what I do, but that doesnt change the fact I feel my job is meaningless. I used to hate it the most when I worked in the dishroom and all it was was high school drama despite the fact I was graduated. I had a wide variety of dipshit co workers. Many of those ones are gone now and I'm a dietitian tech. The only thing that makes my job horrible is my supervisors that seemingly have a little more intelligence than the pile of shit I stepped in yesterday. They are so dumb. It makes me feel horrible knowing that I actually have to work under these people. They are mean, they are clueless and generally just overall dumb. I could really use a new job. I had a brief job being an on call ekg tech for 3 weeks. I was only used once before they let me go saying they didnt know that my job wouldn't be as in high demand. That sucked. Since October, I have been turned down for at least 8 jobs that all went to women, and 4 of those times the women were far less qualified than I was. And one job went to a pre med school student guy. That was understandable because he was smart as hell. I need boobs and a fake personality to get jobs it seems. ha ha. No, but it does chap my ass that I'm getting jewed out of good jobs despite my qualifications.
But to be totally honest, I'm happy. I'm happier than I've ever been for this time of year. I mean, yeah, my job and financial trouble is a kick in the ass but that doesn't stop me from living life and having fun. I have great friends. During the fall I really didnt have any because we all had a brief falling out because of the circumstances we were in. Things are back to how they were. I've made a couple of new friends, my old friends are still around and we still have a kick ass time whenever we can. I'm just trying to live life the best I can. And it's been great. I've had some girls come and go from my life the past couple of months. Nothing incredibly serious, but there is a couple I miss. Girls are girls. They do come and go. If one that I like comes around that I like a ton and the feeling is mutual, great. If not, oh well. I've got time. A relationship would be kind of cool, but I'm not going to go out of my way and find one. Those ones are always the worst. I just want it to happen. It just wasn't predictable. I'm tired of wasting my time on girls who pretend I don't exist when there is other people around. I'm tired of wasting my time on girls who get clingy within a week. (that creeps me out) I'm tired of wasting time on girls with no intelligence. I'm just going to do what I've always done. I'm just going to let it happen. I could really use a stable band too. I jam with people but there is never really stable members. It's weird to me that I play the drums but have no band. But other than that, I'm happy. I really am. I know that for better or worse, my shitty days, my good days, things will be ok. And that's all that really matters.