[Not Really] Sorry.


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Birthdays Are Funny Part 2

Birthdays are a peculiar thing. We celebrate people just for being alive another year. I think it's odd that we don't celebrate the opposite of that. Most cultures like having a reason to celebrate, so I don't see why no one has ever celebrated death days. I'm not talking about the death of your beloved grandma or anything. That's kind of morbid. I propose something much more meaningful. I think we should celebrate the death days of histories biggest pieces of shit.

Marilyn Manson is finally dead. Yay! Let's all go out and get drunk knowing that there is one less horrific human being taking up oxygen and resources. We should be celebrating Hitler's death. There should be parades with people dressed up as dead Hitlers everywhere. Yahoo for histories greatest monster being buried 10 feet under being devoured by worms and bacteria and then being pooped out again. Sure, that would be a little morbid and probably slightly inappropriate. We shouldn't be glorifying them. Why give those bastards a holiday for being terrible people? Maybe this would inspire more freaks to get a holiday named after them for being so bad. Perhaps it's not the best idea I've ever had.

But still, I can't help but envision a world where once a year we bust open Ted Bundy pinatas with military grade explosives. Or a day we take Osama Bin Laden dummies, strap them to rockets and then launch them into the sun. We can do boxing or MMA fights featuring fighters dressed as Stalin beating the holy crap out of each other.

But I guess the cons far outweigh the pros in this case. In my defense, I feel like it stands to reason. Celebrate being alive, celebrate being dead. You have got to have both sides of the coin showing here. I just present a slightly more morbid view.

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