Ok, if you're guessing that I'm stalling again, you are correct. Kudos to you clever reader. I write to you as I eat a freshly microwaved, pre-packaged danish pastry. If I was remotely competent at cooking, I think I would just make pastries all day and eat them myself. Sharing is for losers and hippies.
I'm also fairly confident that pastries could and should prevent war. I'm pretty sure if the vikings, Genghis Kahn, and Hitler had access to pastries there would be no need for war..........Unless countries had better pastries than yours, then it might be deemed necessary to invade their country in order to obtain access to these better and possibly more exotic pastries.
Ok, maybe pastries wouldn't solve combat related conflicts. But maybe they could be used to boost moral. A pastry of a soldiers choice could mean the difference between being hesitant in a firefight to blowing off the head of some asshole terrorist. How? I don't know, I'm not a scientist. But I'm sure it would have a lot to do with the poorly understood subject of the unconscious mind and the positive effect of pastries in combat situations. I would go as far as to theorize that there is a direct correlation to delicious pastries and violence. Just ask any 8 year old playing a violent video game while eating a box of Twinkies. I'm sure that kid will tell you they believe that Twinkies give them a heightened ability to kick ass in their game as opposed to their opponents who lack pastry-related nourishment.
Well my danish pastry is now gone. I have another one to eat. Should I save it despite my intense craving?
Nah, I'm feeling impulsive. I'm going to eat it now.
Lata' sucka's!
1 comment:
My Danish danish was rather spectacular. So, I could see myself invading Denmark to have a delightful pastry.
Side note for you J.Dub: pastry making is now much easier to the unaccomplished cook. Go to the freezer section in your local supermarket. Pepperidge Farm makes this frozen Puff Pastry Sheets that take all the work out of it. Just thaw and you've got the dough ready to go. Think about it. Pastries...hot out of the oven in your own home.
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