Gas Stations Suck

Gas stations have become unnecessarily complex lately. Every time I go to buy gas, I'm barraged with questions before I purchase.

Debit or credit?
Enter your zip code?
Do you want a car wash?
Would you like your receipt?
Are you white?
Do you like cheese?

(OK maybe the last 2 aren't real questions but the other ones are.)

Why all the questions? I don't have time to be answering this crap. Why does it matter? Just give me my gas!

Does anyone else hope that when you prepay that you hope the pump malfunctions and you get a ton of free gas? I know I do. Every time I prepay with cash I hope for some sort of system glitch to happen. Suddenly the 10 bucks I put in turns to 40 bucks in free gas.

That has only happened to me once when I was 16. I prepaid with 5 dollars but the pump wouldn't stop pumping. Even though more gas was going in, the pump indicated I only paid 5 dollars. I did try to get it to stop. Well I didn't try very hard, but I did try to some moral credit. I went back 2 more times to that same pump. I imagine others knew the secret as it was obvious some people were waiting for that specific pump to open. One day, the pump functioned normally. The station manager mentioned in passing that someone mentioned it was broken after 2 weeks of the station losing money. What kind of monstrously honest person would report such a thing?! Gas back then was hitting $2 a gallon and the public was furious. This was a small victory against the oil companies. I didn't have any money in high school. This was perfect! Full tanks for 3 dollars!

I'm still mad at the anonymous tipster who ruined it for [me] the rest of us. Damn your honest conscience. We could have easily gotten away with that for another 2 weeks.