Dear Weather,
I have done my very best to not complain about you, despite you meddling with my every day plans. However, I now see that you will be interfering with my camping vacation plans this weekend.
Not cool, Weather. Not cool.
You see, Weather, I need this vacation. I'm so burned out I might scream and/or explode. Would it kill you to just be nice for a day or two this weekend? I realize that you are busy killing people with tornadoes, floods, and hurricanes lately and that I should consider myself lucky. But you are now messing with the one time of the year that I can reliably look forward to a vacation. That's the last fucking straw.
I see that you are scheduling snow on my first day of vacation. I will cordially ask you to cease and desist with any plans to initiate any snow related activity this Friday. If you fail to recognize my courtesy warning, I will be forced to take legal action. It will not be long until I will have a petition a large enough for a class action law suit.
America vs Shitty Weather will likely be a costly and lengthy court process. To avoid financial waste on both sides, I suggest you carefully consider my warning and take immediate action to avoid this. Otherwise, you can look forward to my team of soul-less lawyers raping every dollar [or Euro] from you in a fairly brutal fashion. You can rest assured that I mean every word of this.
Thank you for your attention and consideration.
See you in [Hell] court.
Sincerely,
Johnny W.
1 comment:
I'm afraid Mother Nature doesn't deal with dollars and/or Euros. I hear Japanese Yen is out too. However, right now the exchange rate is crazy high for the British Pound. Try to tempt her with that one.
Post a Comment