I see that people post surveys on their blogs nowadays. The surveys typically consist of a large number of questions which only 10% are actually relevant/interesting. The surveys are supposed to let you get to know the survey taker a little more. However, the surveys fail to ask questions that I care about, such as: What did you eat for lunch? What is the nearest square thing to you? Lame. Lame. Lame. However, I will join in on this trendy blogging adventure under my own circumstances. I will compose my own survey to ask myself. The questions will be what I think people would want to know about me.
Enjoy my made up as I go, relevant survey of awesomeness and power.
1. Are you awesome?
Shit yeah I am. On a scale of 1-10 on the awesome scale (10 being the best) I would give myself a 22!......well I guess it makes me less awesome to brag. I’ll deduct 12 points from my awesome score to be fair. Leaving me at an honest gentleman’s 10.
2. Would you rather be a pirate or a ninja? (this seems pointless, but trust me, the question is revealing!)
A pirate of course. Pirates score all the ladies. Ninjas are masters of combat, but losers in the sack. Think about it, you always see pictures of pirates with saucy pirate wenches and beer. Ninjas get no such rewards.
3. Where were you born?
Definitely in a hospital. But if you’re talking about a city (which I am) it was in Salt Lake City, on the blessed day of November 18, 1986. I was the best thing the University Hospital had seen in decades!
4. Do you get distracted easily?
Why do we have tongues? I like cars from the 80’s. uhhhhh. To answer your question..... uhhh
5. What do you do for a living?
When I’m not out saving the world from distressing world events, I like to work in the ER. On the side, I sport a fake mustache and try to convince people I’m an oil tycoon with a heart of gold!
6. What do you do for fun?
Handling firearms in a safe but equally fun fashion is pretty sweet. I also enjoy playing music and writing trivial blogs that tend to waste the time of others.
7. What makes you sad?
Being hideously obese, watching others become hideously obese, and any movie Steven Segal says yes to.
8. Do you like to travel?
I thoroughly enjoy leaving my house on a daily basis. More so when I’m over 20 miles away and incredibly so when I’m thousands away!
9. Are you creepy?
Depends what you define as "creepy." I sure do enjoy stalking the occasional elderly lady from time to time, but I can assure you, my creepiness is low on the creepy scale. Like a 6!..............That’s kind of sad.
10. What do you look forward to in the future?
Being finished with school. It’s about a decade away from happening but damn it, I can be hopeful! I can accomplish my dream of being allegedly valuable, but do as little work as possible.
11. Would you qualify yourself as lazy?
I’ll answer that question with a question: Is there any other way of living?
12. Do you get mad easily?
Only if you say anything that I don’t agree with......And I only get mad at people who spell their name with letters.....speaking of which. Fuck you all!...............to answer your [my] question, no, not really.
13. Do you like to meet new people?
I only like to meet people who are interesting and do interesting things, such as: harpooning whales, hunting lumberjacks, and wrestle with Mexicans.
14. Are you emotional?
Not really. I tend to bottle it all up until it explodes as uncontrollable rage. But don’t worry, I only explode in places where no one would care, like a swap meat or a children’s clothing store.
15. Are you tolerant?
Generally, yes. (except for idiots) I try to be towards idiots. But it’s so hard when idiots tend to cripple my capacity to feel joy.
16. Are you sarcastic?
Sarcasm is out. Being an asshole is in.
17. Are you a happy person?
Actually, yes. I’m very happy with my life. I do enjoy life quite thoroughly.
18. Do you have any regrets?
Life is too short to live with regrets. If my live was about 100 years longer, than yeah, I would say I would have regrets. Now that I think about it, I regret letting my friends take pictures of me doing anything remotely embarrassing. Lousy bastards.
19. What do you like to do for fun?
Anything that requires food, not moving frequently, and explosions. (ideally)
20. If you could have one wish, what would it be?
To have the ability to concoct new ways to gain more wishes. Then I’d trade it all for a little more.
That is my survey of awesomeness. Maybe I’ll concoct and post another survey. Until then, comment my thoroughly [shitty and false] blog.
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