What is the difference between those two things? What is the difference between bigfoot and Santa Clause? The answer: Plenty of adults still believe in bigfoot. I don't know if everyone saw the same special on bigfoot on the history channel, or bigfoot is a spring time topic. Because lately, (I mean the past couple of days) Everyone has been talking about bigfoot and asking me if I think he exists!
No! No! No! I used to believe when I was younger. But when I was younger I also used to believe I would grow up to be a rockstar, surrounded by beautiful women and money I wouldn't have otherwise earned. After I say "no" there is a slight gasp followed by the question "why don't you believe?"
If you really must know why bigfoot is no more real than Santa, the toothfairy, and peace on earth, then here are my top reasons.
1. We have yet to find a heaping pile of bigfoot shit! A large animal like that has to throw down some pretty hearty crap. Yet, none has been found in fossilized, fresh, or even decomposed form.
2. Bigfoot's diet would be large (based on estimated size) whether he was a carnivore, herbivore, or even both. There is no substantial decrease in plant or animal life where bigfoot supposedly is. No mangled deer, no large patches of plants gone. Nothing.
3. We have yet to find a corpse of bigfoot. According to bigfoot "experts" there has to be more than just one due to the number of "sightings." If that were true, then eventually a dead one would show up somewhere. It wouldn't matter how it died, but it sure as hell doesn't bury itself. It definitely isn't immortal and the lifespan can't be too long due to the size of the supposed creature.
4. The human population is so large, people have run into the most elusive, cunning, and shy animals by accident. From a rare wolf species to eagles, humans have seen them despite how hard they are to find. Yet, the human population has yet to run into a 7 foot tall hairy thing that hangs out in the woods and is capable of never being in focus. How elusive can something that big be? No one has shot one yet. Though, some argue it would take a large caliber to take down bigfoot, I disagree. The same caliber guns used on deer, elk, and bear are also used on elephants, rhinos, and other large game. It would have no reason not to take down a large ape. No one has taken CREDIBLE pictures or video.
5. No the government has nothing to do with it! The government could give two shits less about an ape in the forest. The government has no reason to cover up bigfoot! How would that benefit the American people? They sure aren't training them to fight in Iraq. They aren't experimenting on them secretly for no real secret reason. The government theory is pure idiocy.
There. I ruined bigfoot for believers. Now never talk to me about this subject again.
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