Well it's been a day of tuning up my love machine. First I did the fuel filter which was a pain.........Literally. I disconnected it and it felt like a gallon of gasoline poured into my eyes. After running into the house blindly (I navigated that like the back of my hand) to wash out my eyes, I came back to the scene of the eyeburning to find that my driveway was the Rio Grande of gas. I went under and quickly threw on my fuel filter trying my best not to lose the rest of my tank. Seeing that river of gas was enough to make my heart sink since gas prices are more pricey than an Arizona hooker (thats just re-damn-diculous!) I was covered in gas. I was ready to catch on fire like Michael Jackson at a Pepsi commercial. I was waiting for some smoking white trash in a 1970's pick-up truck to pass by and flick their cigarette out at me as they passed by. Or I could have been smoten by the worlds largest levetating magnifying glass that would likely be shined in my direction. Luckily, none of that happened (I know a couple of you are reading this and thinking "damn it!")
So I called around to a couple of places to see if they had the rest of my needed accessories. It turned out I had to drive all the way to West Valley just to buy spark plug wires from some douchebag who would have sooner smothered himself with a rotting bear carcass than help me. Thoroughly annoyed, I drove back using my dad's car to face bumper to bumper traffic. Woo Hoo. Nothing says "I'm thinking about working for the U.S Postal Service just so I have an excuse to go on a rampage" quite like sitting in 85 degree weather in bumper to bumper traffic surrounded by assholes with loud shitty music.
After stopping at a few places for spark plugs, and a distributor cap, I made my way home to finish off the job. I pulled out the spark plug wires to find that the resistors at the end were partly broken. That would explain why my van lugged around like obese trailer trash on welfare. I replaced all that and felt a sense of accomplishment I haven't felt since resisted fast food for a day and a half. I started up my van and it worked better than it had in a long time. It was time for the real test. I took it on the freeway since I had been having problems staying at accelerated speeds. And with my luck, It died going 60mph for no reason. It just completely cut out. With my mongoose like speed, I dropped the clutch in 4th as it was going and it started back up again. I got off the nearest exit using every socially unacceptable word I could think of including "Thumbfuck" and "Dirty Splurby" (That last one is only unacceptable because splurby is not a word........yet)
I spent a lot of money tuning up my van and my problem wasn't completely solved. So I'm broke again until my next check comes through. Damn! But it was a good learning experience since I've never really had to work on my van before.
But there is a point to this blog besides my misfortune entertaining you sadistic bastards. If you have any ideas as to what is causing my problem i.e. my van cutting out at high speeds and sometimes low speeds (which rules out the governor) then by all means let me know. I'm thinking the fuel pump, distributor, maybe even my alternator but I'm not leaning on that one too much. I could use some help here. I have a 6 hour trip next week in that thing. So I need to get it in freeway ready shape. Any ideas? Comment please. Just want to comment about my misfortune? By all means do. Want to subcribe to my blog if you already haven't? Sure you do. (Peer pressure, come on, everyone else is doing it.)
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