I'm sure if you go back far enough in my blog, I have used the phrase "I'm a lover, not a fighter." Upon further reflection, I have jumped to the conclusion that this is not the case at all in either instance. Why did this come up? I don't know. But I had to think about it for some reason.
I'm certainly not a lover. I don't love most things or most people. In fact, I'm generally not a fan of most anything. One of the benefits of being highly cynical and pessimistic is that everything sucks until proven otherwise. Being too trusting that everything is good until proven otherwise is just too hard. Most people suck. Most people are out to get something from you in some way. Someone wants you to buy their useless shit they are selling. Someone is trying to get information from you that you aren't willing to give. Someone is trying to use you for their personal gain. To that end, I can honestly say, I do not love most people.
"But Johnny, what do you mean by 'most things?' Isn't that a little ambiguous?" you ask.
Yes, it is ambiguous. By "things" I mean ambiguously covering the spectrum of life. Most material things suck. Sure there is a lot of stuff I want, but there is a whole lot more crap out there that just serves as junk to irritate humanity. Most situations suck. That's right, most situations suck. Got errands today? That sucks. Got to go to work when you'd rather be sleeping or spending time with people you like? That sucks. Got to deal with family you don't get along with? That sucks. I find that there is a highly dispropotional amount of suck than there is not. All of this falls into the category of "things," therefore they suck and I do not love them.
I'm not really a fighter either. I'm scrappy at best. I don't take a ton of shit, though I do take enough to save face. I'm capable of defending myself verbally and physically. But I'm hardly a fighter. I can't go out and pick fights. I have no illusions about how big of a guy I am. A guy with my frame and stature is more likely to get his ass kicked. I've always known that. I don't pick arguments since that's a waste of my time and efforts. I've got nothing to gain by it. So I guess I'm not a fighter either.
So where do I fall into? I don't love most things. I don't like to fight, though I'm capable of defending myself and if necessary being offensive. I would say I just fall into the category of "just some guy." It's the best neutral position anyone can take. You don't have the obligation of trying to love and find the best in things. You don't have to be known as the bad ass who can deliver a good beating. You just have to be "that guy." No one really knows too much about you, or where you stand on anything.
Now that I've answered your most pressing question about my stand on loving or fighting, you can now enjoy your Halloween.
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