What I Thought I'd be When I Grew Up

When I was a kid, I had always wondered what it would be like to be a "grown up." I predicted quite inaccurately what I'd look like and how I would act. I still remember this image of what I embodied my adulthood to be.

I remember as a kid, I had thought I would be tall, skinny, a pony tail, a scraggly goatee, with a backwards black hat and black shirt with a skull on it. Oh and did I mention I thought I would be blonde? Unfortunately, my parents didn't explain to me the concepts and laws of genetics. Which is a shame. Maybe I would have been less disappointed later on when I figured out that I wouldn't grow up to be the white trash scumbag I had envisioned. I had always envisioned myself in a cigarette smoke filled room, hanging out with scuzzy looking dudes, being loud and making jokes that would make everyone else boisterously laugh.

How in the hell did I ever come up with this vision? It's not like my parents were taking me to sleazy bars full of these people. I can't even remember meeting someone like that as a kid. But for as long as I can remember, I was certain this is the man I would grow up to be. My best guess is that I learned this from Star Trek: The Next Generation. My dad made it a point to raise me properly and made sure that I was well acquainted with the Star Trek universe. I theorize that I must have watched an episode with Klingons being involved. That was their type of behavior.

(I was trying to find a still shot of Klingons drinking on an episode to illustrate my point. Unfortunately, my image searches only yielded pictures of nerds dressed as Klingons drinking beer. Don't get me wrong, I'm seriously a huge, fucked up nerd. But come on, Google. I don't even want to see that. You know what I want! Give me pictures of Klingons interacting and being shady!)


Anywho, maybe it's just me who has these weird images still stuck in my head for whatever reason. But I've always wondered if other people had similar predictions about themselves that turned out to be very wrong.

I guess I did get one thing right. My affinity for black clothes is still going strong.