Cars are Mechanical Clothes

Cars, just like clothes, often times reflect the kind of person we are. Clothes are obvious reflections. If you see some guy wearing Tap Out or something glittery and tight, chances are he is a douchenozzle of the highest caliber. Maybe that's a strong generalization. It certainly violates the whole "Don't judge a book by it's cover" rule. But fuck the rules. (At least for the purposes of this bad post, we'll say fuck the rules)

Cars are just clothes that we drive. They make an impression whether we like it or not. I realized this as I was driving into my class today. Some asshole in a big lifted truck with half the paint missing, cut me off and then proceeded to give me the bird for no reason. From the comfort of my own car I blurted "Oh yeah, nice truck. Now everyone in the trailer park knows that you have the park's smallest penis and that you're the coolest piece of shit there." He might have been a nice guy and was just having a bad day. Or my perception of the cigarette smoking jackass in a wife beater, tattered backwards hat and driving the giant insecure-of-my-phallus-mobile just might have been at least partially correct.

If you see someone driving a Jaguar or an Astin-Martin, you don't need to know too much about that person. You already know that person wears a tuxedo just to take a crap and probably hunts people for sport and jerky. You would probably assume this just by seeing a guy in a tuxedo who doesn't look like he is going to the prom. You would probably assume he drives a nice car......or that someone drives the nice car for him while he drinks champagne and eats imported crumpets in the backseat. It makes sense.

People probably see me driving my RAV4 and just assume I might be some hot-ass soccer mom, only to find I'm a dumpy white male. When I had my VW Vanagon, I'm sure a lot of people assumed I was some sort of stoner or hippie, and possibly a drug dealer (or a combination of the three). But again, they just saw a pale white teenager who looked incapable of trouble or fun. Of course, people don't always fit the descriptions of their cars or their clothes.

But most of the time, it's pretty damn close.