Writing seems to be my only escape from the shackles of reality and work the past few months. Music used to be my outlet. But that outlet feels ineffiicient recently. Writing is the way I express myself good or bad and it feels as though a weight has been lifted off my chest every time I do.
Well I guess this is the update of my life in June. For some reason, I'm more stressed than I should be. It's summer and I love it. I've had adventures and a lot of fun so far. The summer wind brings back so many memories. It's odd how it does. The second the wind sweeps my body, it's like I travel back in time instantly. I can be brought back as far as 6th grade riding my bike in front of the church that's up the street from me. I can be brought back to last year, feeling refreshed and relieved that high school is over. Strange to think that I've been out of high school for a year now. Not that I miss it. But it sure is a sobering reminder of how fast life can pass you by. But that's not a worry. Lately, it feels like I should be somewher else. Deep inside, I know something big is coming soon. I tell myself that I'm due for a miracle. Something to pull myself from where I am. I hope it's a new job. Or maybe even a girl worth meeting since this state has an extreme lack of that. The job is more important though. It's what I want and it's not like I'm not trying either. It's like I'm feeling stressed and I can't pinpoint exactly what's making me tick. What is making me feel this way. I'm not really an uptight guy either. It's strange. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm running on a treadmill. I can run as fast as I want, as hard as I can, with all my effort, and still get no where. Thats what I feel like. I'm not going in circles because that would mean new events would happen but somehow bring me back to the beginning. It's more like it's the same shit and I'm a dead float in the water. I just know inside that something is coming. I don't know what. And hopefully it's good. But I know something is coming. It's a feeling I can't describe.
In time, I know I'll find my answers. They're out there. But in the meantime I guess I'll wait for the wind to carry me away from this dead float.
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