Getting Older and Older

The other day, it was once again brightly highlighted how old I'm getting. I was taking care of a 19 year old patient who was afraid to get an IV. I confidently assured her that I had done this for almost 8 years and that there was a low chance of me missing.

8 years..........

First off, let's forget the disappointment I feel for still being at the same entry level job for so long and just jump right into how long 8 years is in comparison to my patient. When I started 8 years ago, my patient was 11, not even in middle school. 8 years ago I was barely 20 years old and living with my friends. I had been graduated from high school for 2 years by that point. To add insult to it all, I realized the patient was born in 1995.

What was I doing in 1995? Oh yes, I remember. I was watching the original Power Rangers, learning addition, and failing at cursive writing. While the patient was drinking out of a formula bottle, I was playing Super Nintendo and excelling at dodgeball. While the patient was choking on their own spit, I had a wide vocabulary of 3-4 syllable words and a fine grasp of one syllable swear words.

Holy shit I'm old. Whenever I meet someone in their early 20's or even late teens, I'm still in the mindset that I'm really not too much older than they are. But in reality, I'm much closer to my 30's now than I am my early 20's or late teens. My youthful looks are slowly starting to degrade into my actual age. More and more, patients and strangers are able to accurately gauge my age.

Another hint of my growing age has been confronting loud music. In the privacy of my own home or car, I love loud music. Not ear-ringing loud music. But loud enough to enjoy it. In fact, one of my favorite things ever is to roll down all my windows on the freeway and blast my music. On the city streets, I have it loud but feel obligated to turn it down at stoplights or slow traffic. Not everyone needs or wants to listen to what I'm listening to. With strangers, I struggle with understanding people who have spent several hundred dollars to get a super sound system with a huge sub-woofer and stereo boxes. I get it to some degree. I'm guilty of wanting a better sound system in my car, but only for the benefit of me being able to hear my music better, not everyone else. Do people really have to blast it so loud that the bass rattles the bolts of their own car while making my teeth involuntarily chatter? What's the gain here? In high school, it was kind of cool. But after that, it's actually really annoying. 99% of these people who do this are men. Do they hope the loud noise actually attracts women? That might sort of work in high school or perhaps an older woman who hasn't let high school go yet, but I can't see the general female population getting into that. Or maybe I'm about as clueless as to what women want now more than ever. I've tried to reason with it in my head. Maybe it's an old evolutionary biology sort of thing. Maybe in the ancient days, loud noises were what attracted mates in a our primate years. I can see somewhere down the line that banging sticks or rocks together the loudest just might have scored you some sweet reproductive action. (Keep in mind I have done zero research on this and am just making this up.) Or maybe women nowadays might be fooled into thinking that if you can afford thousands of dollars worth of sound equipment for your car that you might also be able to afford thousands of dollars worth of material crap that they want as well. I'm no ladies man. I never have been. But never once have I ever heard any girl or woman utter that loud sound systems are cool or hot. Never once have I heard any girl or woman proclaim that a loud sound system is the quickest way into her pants and heart. I most certainly have never heard any of them say in public or privately that loud sound systems in cars is a worthy investment.

I still have a hard time accepting that I'm approaching grandpa status. With my deep-rooted introvert behaviors already making me a bit of an old soul already, I can't imagine how much older I'll feel in just 2 more years. It's bad enough I have sports injuries to nurse, where I've never had a problem with injuries before. My knees ache and creek. My back pops. Loud noises irritate me to the highest degree. Too much conversation in a big room is still enough to have me longing for time isolated in a giant forest.

I'm old.

There I said it.

Are you happy now, World? I'm old.