It sounds kind of crazy, but black and white movies make me sad. Not because the content of the movies are sad or the acting and story lines often laughably sad; but because the actors in the movies remind me of aging.
I'm not particularly afraid of death, but I am deathly afraid of becoming old. When I see the actors on the screen, I am seeing those actors as they were in the prime of their life and youth. On screen, their youth is timeless. You see their characters as they exist in their universe. You don't imagine those characters becoming old and feeble. You experience them in the moment of their existence in the story being told. When the story ends, it ends. There is no continuity. The movie is over and the characters timelessly exist in their realm until you watch the movie again. The characters live on forever, but the actors do not. Their lives move on, they age as we do and then die.
When watching old movies, I look at their beauty. They have almost a luminous quality to them. Just young actors living in a time that we don't understand anymore. I often find myself wondering what they looked like when they aged and probably passed on. What were they like when they were old? What happened to them when their youth passed them by? Did they find themselves looking back at that time in their life in fondness wishing they could have it all back? Their looks? Their age? Their energy? Or did they eventually accept that time holds us all accountable for our biological lifespan?
It sounds awfully morbid, but any old movie reminds me of aging. It reminds me that although Hollywood glorifies beauty and youth, we are all eventual victims of time and age. We all want to stay young. We all want to have the same energy and strength in our 20's as we do in our 80's. We don't want to have to compromise our looks and physical independence to time and disease. Everywhere we look, we emphasize looking young by eating this, exercising that, putting this mixture on our faces, having a surgeon adjust that. Despite all the advances in science, quack and real medicine alike, time catches up.
I don't know why this subject makes me so morose. I guess the best fix is to not watch old movies. Out of sight, out of mind. I plan to be in my 20's forever.
That sounds reasonable, right?
1 comment:
ME TOOO!! Although black and white movies remind me of death, not aging. Freaks the hell out of me. When I was in high school we watched "The Seventh Seal". Not only was this movie in black and white, it was Swedish with English subtitles. Nothing is creepier than that plot + Swedish words drifting through the air while you read something completely different than what it sounds like. I felt like I was facing Death that day not the actor. B&W movies are scary!
Post a Comment