The Quarterback Of My Own Reality

Lately, I've been watching a ton of football. This is something I have not done in years largely due to my schedule. This year I decided to make room for it. I've really enjoyed watching the games again. I forgot how much I enjoyed it. I also forgot how horrible it is to become so emotionally invested in a team and to feel shitty when they lose. I really hate that part. It's part of the reason why I stopped keeping up with sports. It sucked hearing about your favorite team getting it's ass kicked every week.

Any case, I keep seeing things in football terms. I keep making football analogies in conversations with other people. I make football analogies in my head to figure out small things. I don't know why this has been such a  comfort for me to do. Recently, I've been comparing myself to a quarterback. Making the decisions on the play and making them happen. Leading the way to hopeful victory. Yes, there I am waiting to receive the ball from the center. The ball gets to my hands. I look around looking for a receiver. It's a long shot but I think I can do it. The receiver goes deep and I throw the ball as hard as I can. It's going, going, going and.............the receiver missed it.............Which translates to that missed IV I wasn't sure I was going to get in this heroin-addicted patient or gambling on finding a better parking spot than the one I just passed. I'm a lousy quarterback it turns out. I fumble a lot and have a lot of incomplete passes. But on occasion I can get a sweet touchdown after marching down the field gradually rather than throwing ridiculous hail mary's all day.

In real life I would make a horrible quarterback. I'm barely capable of throwing a football more than 35 feet without tearing my rotator cuff. I always wanted to play football as a kid but my dad wouldn't allow it. He always feared I would get permanently injured. By the time he finally gave the green light for me to play football, it was too late. I had given up on my sports ambitions and moved on to music. I would have never been able to hack it in football. I was tiny back then. I would have gotten crushed by bigger dudes. My spirits would have been equally crushed by the competitiveness and trash talking that ruined sports for me.

The point I'm trying to get across through all this random shit is that I love football.


So there. Now you know.