I wrote this while on the plane to Phoenix. You'll notice by the inane rambling that I was quite bored and delightfully absurd. Enjoy.
Flying from El Paso was semi-eventufl. I had to fly into Phoenix to connect to my flight in Salt Lake. For a while, nothing was happening. Every 20 minutes or so I would see a city that looked roughly the size of a gas station and a herd of sheep put next to each other. Then suddenly, the city of Phoenix appeared and all I could see was low income housing for as far as the eye could permit. I looked below to find that every house in nearly every neighborhood had a swimming pool. It was incredibly ridiculous. You could trash your pool with your feces one night then hop the fence and hit your neighbors and your neighbors neighbors. Using pools for their non intended purpose can be exhausting and cause heat stroke. At the end of the block you can finally take a swim and invite all your friends. I laught at the fact they had large community pools. What's the damn point? You could hop a fence and land in a pool from a movie theatre line. As the plane started it's approach to the landing strip things started to get a little bigger. You could make out the colors of the cars below finally. The pools became more clear to see. There was a couple of times at the community pools where you could actually see individual people from nearly 20,000 feet above the ground. At first I thought there was one person in the water and the water helped magnify their appearance. But when I looked around the community pool's parking lots the one speck didn't justify the amount of cars parked there. It came down to one solution. Fat people big enough to be seen by an aerial view of 20,000 feet. I thought well they had the water to help make them visible so it's not fair. Not long after I thought that I could start seeing some fat people just on the concrete of the side of the pool. Now that's just sad. People can see your fat whale ass standing by a pool at an extremely high altitude. Wow. Those obesity statistics weren't lying.
Shortly after we landed at the Phoenix airport the pilot of the plane announced it was 2:56. I forgot Arizona was one hour behind the rest of the western states. Just to be funny I exclaimed kind of loudly "Holy crap, I travelled back in time! I must warn my past self that the flight to Phoenix will be boring and that I will see a ridiculous amount of backyard pools as I land!" My mom and sister just rolled their eyes and the people looked at me as if I said something of complete blasphemy. Rather impressed with my remark I walked off the plane and called RJ to alert him of the fact that I was in his new recent home state. We talked for a few minutes and then he got off the phone in favor of keeping his job. Shortly after he texted me on my cell phone to go to the airport bookstore because there is porno magazines there. Funny thing was that I was already in the store trying to take a picture of myself in front of the nude magazine rack partly hidden behind shroud of white plastic. But alas I was stopped by an airport official. (the store sales associate) She first asked if I was 18. I said I was 20. She then said that it was illegal for me to take a picture of myself in there next to the cover nude magazines without the written consent of a high up airport official. They then banished me from the store after I purchased my dayqil cold pills. Disgruntled and torn I took a picture of my disappointed face to send to RJ to let him know I had failed. I had no intention of purchasing such a magazine, no less at an airport. I just thought it would have been funny.
currently I'm flying over the Grand Canyon. It's quite a beautiful view. But the more I look at it the more I realize that it serves as Mother Earth's vagina. The end of the world won't be because of an angry god or global warming. I predict a male pornstar sized asteroid will ravage the Grand Canyon to a pleasurable explosion. At that point the flying Earth chunks of debris will fly until they orbit a convenient sun and grow and harbor life of their own one day. It's sensible. Aside from the view I'm also flying in jet that I'm confident was a bomber plane that helped defeat that damned Kaiser in WWI and again to topple the Nazi's in WWII. It wouldn't surprise me either if it flush out "commies" in Vietnam. The upholstery looks as if it might have been redone right around the time I was born. The overhead warning lights such as the no smoking signal and seatbelt signal are missing in random places. I also noticed the convenient armchair ashtrays. Which is funny because it's a non-smoking flight as all of them are. The really kids in front of me have their own seats. Not one of them looks like they are capable of being able to recite the ABC's without starting over at least once. Their parents are in the aisle across from them dead asleep while they jump up and down and scream in their seat. Judging by the smell, I'm confident one of those kids had to have shit themselves more than 4 hours ago. They are now roaming about in a smeared pile of their own feces, causing my already irritated sinuses to feel pain in ways that could only be matched by a debilitating sinus eroding disease.
Overall my experience in Arizona (airport) was comical and presented a very positive view on how I see towns from close to 20,000 feet. I'm enlightened.
I'm tired now. I'm done writing
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