Hello there. It's October now and for some reason I really like the month of October. Halloween is all well and good, but I think it has to do with all the good memories I have had associated with this month. I think it's a very beautiful month. The colors change, its not quite freezing cold, but not really hot either. The past month has been pretty good. I made it through the first half of my ekg class and applie for an ekg tech position. I hope I at least get an interview. I have reached the point where I hate my job with an incredibly deep passion. It puts me in such a bad mood to be there. I really need to get out of there and start doing more meaningful work. I just have to be patient I guess. I have at least another 3 weeks of my ekg class before I'm officially certified. I just need to hang in there. Recently, I've been volunteering at Local a lot in the South Town Mall. In fact, as I write this, I'm there right now. I like to help out. It's fun. I meet bands and help set up the shows, I have met a lot of cool people. I can't complain. I like being here. I think a lot of it is that it's my way of staying connected with music since I'm not in a band anymore. It's just my way of staying part of what I love. I hope to start a new band soon. I have some willing people, its just a matter of making it come together. I miss playing music. Those were the days where I seemed to really feel alive despite the troubles I had back then. I love music and have lived for it since I got into it. But as more responsibility piles on top of me, the more it seems to fade. Which is kind of sad. Of course I still play my drums, at least once a day, but still. For the most part overall, my life has been going pretty good. I really want to move out though. It's hard to get people to go in on it and even harder to find a reasonable place. A house preferably. I still don't want to go to Boise. So I'm still trying to get out. I have a lot of freedom at home, but when I get chewed out about not cleaning my bathroom, that makes me feel further away from being independent than I ever thought. I have longed to move out for a long long long time. I hate the feeling of being under someones control. I hate the idea that someone can control what I do. In a weird way, I think thats why I'm not looking for a relationship. I see a lot of people I know in relationships and they are under their control completely. They tend to change a lot because they were told or hinted to. I think that's so lame. I'm way too independent to blow off friends constantly and change the way I dress and act for someone. I don't know if that's a problem or a positive, but meh. Recently, a friend of mine had someone close to her family died. She told me a lot about how everyone at school the next day acted like they knew him when they really didn't. I see it all the time when someone dies and I think its selfish to try to take advantage of someones death to gain attention for yourself. When someone young dies, suddenly everyone becomes "very close" to them and is incidentally their "best friend." I think its very disrespectful and selfish. I hope people like that get what's coming to them. Yes, it is sad that someone has passed on, but I think those kinds of people deserve to be punished for taking advantage of family and friend's loss to gain an amount of attention or to not feel out of place.
Anyway, I'm really rambling on and this probably goes down as possibly the most boring blog I have ever written. If you have made it this far, you should go to Local and visit me when I'm there and buy stuff because this store needs your help and support! And if you have made it to this point, you should subscribe to my blogs and comment them. I will love you. I like feedback. Peace out yo!
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