Laboratory

As I was walking through some school buildings the other day, I realized how overused the words "lab" and "laboratory" were. Now when you think of those words, what do you immediately think of? For the majority of people, it seems that people think of a science lab. You know, a place where science and scientific research takes place. You might even go as far as to imagine test tubes, lab coats, protective goggles, computers, complex machinery and math. All of which are completely reasonable (and factual).

But I've recently noticed that schools and universities, academic institutions that are often obsessed with having the most accurate and factual information, are overusing the words "lab" and "laboratory." But how, you might ask? How can you possibly overuse a word with such a specific connotation and association. I'll tell you how:

By using the word as loosely as possibly to describe a place where things are made.

Does that sound vague? That's because it is.

I walked by a long hallway full of all kinds of "labs." Labs that are not particularly scientific such as the "fashion design lab," or the "haircut lab" or the "kitchen lab" or even my personal favorite, the "sewing lab."

Are you fucking kidding me? If you are using the broadest and most ambiguous definition of lab, some half-brained asshole might be able to convince you that a lab is where experimentation and creation takes place. Ok fine. Let's just say that is the case. Then why isn't there a cereal lab where the creation and experimentation of cereal takes place? Or how about a shoelace lab? Why the fuck not? We've already come this far. Or how about the wood carving lab or the pottery lab?

Now, don't try and bullshit me with technicalities such as "Well there is actually a lot of science in cooking/pottery/cereal making." Fuck that. Unless you have a masters or Ph.D in chemistry or physics to explain those things, great. I'm sure there is a cereal lab at a corporation where chemists quite literally get together, use chemicals to concoct and test new cereals. I know for a fact there is a cooking/kitchen lab out there. Cooks with Ph.D's who study why chemicals react to heat or cold the way they do in attempts to test the safety of cooking certain foods. That makes sense. But unless you're applying advanced physics and chemistry down to the molecular and atomic level for the purposes of cooking, don't call it a fucking laboratory or lab. Why can't it just be "A kitchen" or even "kitchen simulator."

And don't get me started on the "fashion design lab." The hard sciences consist of physics, chemistry, and biology. Plus the sub-sections of those hard sciences such as astronomy and geology. You know what those have in common? They are all intertwined and make up the components of the known universe. Additionally they are testable by the scientific method. Even our soft sciences such as psychology, sociology, and anthropology are bound by the scientific method even if they aren't always easily measured. Now did you notice anywhere in those categories of science that I mentioned fashion science? If you answered no then that's no coincidence and that's largely because fashion isn't a fucking science.

Surprise!

In what world do you somehow convince yourself that you need to call it a fashion lab? Why cant it just be the "fashion design room"? It doesn't make fashion design any less prestigious or serious. I don't have anything against it. People make their livings off of it. But I would say it's more of an art than a science. There are no studies on fashion. And don't bother bringing up that stupid dress that went viral or marketing studies about what people would wear. The dress debate is a matter of medical science studying the cone receptors in your eyes, not the undiscovered properties of fashion design. And marketing falls more into social science based on the constructs of interpreting human wants, needs and behavior.

In conclusion, let's leave the words "lab" and "laboratory" to the sciences and not use it interchangeably to merely convey a place where things are created. Otherwise we might some day be excusing ourselves from the table to go visit the "restroom lab." Because that's where feces and urine are created and excreted, you see.