Snow Plow

I live in a state that takes great pride in its snow. Ironically, this same state does nothing to clear it up when it dumps several inches on the roads. It's not as if the local weather guys missed this giant storm and the snow took us by surprise. No, we often have days of advanced notice that we are about to get dumped on. Yet for some reason, a snow plow is not to be seen until around 10 A.M. Of course, this is after several people are late for work, school, and several others injured from losing control of their vehicles.

When you think about it, it's really a bunch of bullshit that the roads aren't plowed for public safety much earlier than they are. It's ridiculous that despite advanced notice, plows are not visible until much later in the day. I'm not complaining about this on an inconvenienced level. I'm complaining about this on a safety level. Hundreds get in accidents as a result of these unplowed roads. Sure, bad driving is certainly incorporated, but I think it's more likely that the snow was a larger factor.

I can actually envision a meeting involving local leaders discussing the plow issue. They debate on whether or not using public money to fund more snow plows for the safety of it's citizens is necessary. Some feel government involvement is not their business. Others argue it will save them more money later on if they just paid for the plows. Then suddenly, an odd looking gentleman speaks up. His black suit is finely and meticulously pressed. His thin mustache and goatee are perfectly straight. He smiles a bright and toothy grin.

He calmly states, "Gentleman, you already have an efficient and cost-effective snow plow."

Everyone goes silent and turns their attention towards him.

"Why pay hundreds of men to drive gas-guzzling snow plows when you have the sun to do all the dirty work for free? The sun will eventually melt it all away."

Everyone in the room stands up and applauds the man. The man stands up and politely takes a bow. His pointy red tail visibly wiggles back and forth in happiness.

"Now that I've solved that problem, I have other nefarious solutions for other meetings I must attend," says the man as he puts on a matching wide-brimmed hat over his protruding horns.

The crowd of leaders continue to follow the man with applause as he confidently strides to his stretched limousine.

"Where to now?" asks the driver holding the door open to the back seat.

"To Wal-Mart headquarters. I've got a new idea for employee exploitation that will change the way we abuse minimum wage workers and sell unnecessary consumer goods at every day low prices."

Locked Down

If you have tried reading my blog only to find it locked, I apologize. I found that some random Russian websites were replicating my content and posting it as their own. I decided to put my blog on lock-down to see if that alleviated the problem, which it did.

I don't know who would want to reproduce this shit and make it available in other countries. That person must lead a very sad and horrific life. There is no content here that is worth reproducing and then distributing to other countries. If it was some sort of financial scheme, I'm sorry but my content is worth the equivalent of 1 peso. That's just because Google eats the cost of posting my bullshit with bandwidth and server costs and what not. Otherwise, no one has wanted to buy or steal my content because of it's alleged value.

However, if it happens again I will be tempted to lock down my blog for good and only allow a select handful to read it. If it continues to happen, I would be tempted to take legal action. That's right, legal action. I'll go to such lengths to protect my worthless content so fuck you.

Anywho, if you missed my blog, I'm equally sorry that you have actually missed it. There is nothing here worth missing either. In any case, I'll be resuming writing here, business as usual.

Coughing On My Attention Span

Stupid flu season. Stupid inversion. Stupid people who can't take cough medicine.

In most of my classes, I've been allowed to record class lectures on my I-Pad. But the problem is everyone is sick. Every few seconds there is a nasty hacking, wheezing cough coming from someone. I am not kidding. Every few seconds. Everyone is sick. Yet no one has the decency to take even the most basic of cough medicine to keep from coughing on everything and being a loud distraction. When I went back to listen to my lecture, I found that a lot of it was obscured by coughing from everyone in the class. Even while I was in the class I was annoyed that everyone was coughing. It's distracting. It's hard to listen to the teacher when you hear "cough cough cough. mmmmmmm". What's up with that? Why does almost everyone end their coughing spell with "mmm"? Presumably to test if there is phlegm in their throat. But still. Every few seconds of that is obnoxious. Take some Dayquil, or a cough drop. Something. Anything. Don't be an inconsiderate prick by coughing your germs everywhere. Don't be an inconsiderate prick by being louder than the instructor, even if it is unintentional.


Ending rant.........now.

Freezing Rain

Today, the weather was a bit different than it normally is during this time of year. The state experienced freezing rain, which is apparently an uncommon event in this state. Freezing rain has been identified as more of a Seattle, Washington kind of thing. This state is all about snow. You know, rain that freezes ahead of time, then lands on the ground as a powdery white substance that fosters pretentious personalities that like to ski and snowboard at expensive resorts. While this state is no stranger to icey conditions, it's inhabitants are generally incapable of safely navigating the roads in it's presence. Today was no exception.

The rain came down and then froze on the roads. This resulted in a record number of accidents on the freeways and roads. To top it off, nobody got anywhere in a timely fashion. There were delays up to 2 hours long to just go 10 miles. Ridiculous.

Although the tires on my car are bald and incapable of safely handling my reckless driving, my spirit to persevere was strong. I knew that if I took to the roads early enough and stayed the hell away from the freeway, I could maybe make it to my destinations in a punctual manner. However, my spirits were only strong enough to feed my compulsive need to be on time. They did nothing to diffuse my grotesque road rage en route to my destinations.

It's probably just as well. I wouldn't want my spirits to be stretched too thin or to be overly concerned with treating shitty drivers with common courtesy.

The Sun's Empty Gesture

I like the sun. It provides life, light and heat. Basically, it makes my existence possible, like it or not. My favorite part about the sun is the heat it provides. It's no secret that my favorite season is Summer. I love the heat. I like the sun shining down providing that heat. 

However, it is January and not a month that normally provides sunny warm weather. We haven't had a storm in a couple of weeks. The sun has been out shining but to no effect. I thought I would be happier seeing the sun shining so brightly. As it turns out, I just like warm weather. The sun shining is just a bonus. The sun shining down but providing little very heat is like the universe's grand cosmic joke. A sun without heat is like an empty gesture from a co-worker who offers to help you move but doesn't actually mean the offer. A sun without heat is like a beautifully gift wrapped box with no gift inside. A sun without heat is like achieving success without passion. 

I need to plan a trip to somewhere warm. Like Arizona or the Sahara. Hawaii would do nicely. I would even  go somewhere that only had 50 degree weather. I'm desperate for even a mildly warm outdoor experience. 

Sad.

Complimentary Observation

Compliments are funny. They are nothing more than very nice subjective opinions. There is not necessarily a right or wrong compliment, though there is a generally a more correct answer. If someone is a known douchebag with a long and treacherous history of douchebaggery, it is likely most people will think they are a douchebag. However, there may be a small percentage of people who feel this person is not a douchebag and may use positive words to describe them instead. This minority probably consists of close friends and family. It's probably difficult for parents to come to grips with their offspring's utterly blatant douchebag traits. Parents/grandparents tend see their children as great accomplishments who understand their quirks and personality. This type of blindness makes parents/grandparents particularly resistant to being open to the possibility that their son/daughter is a douchebag. Close friends will also be resistant to this type of factual thought-processing, but less so resistant than family. Friends are only bound to the douchebag by silent verbal contract. They aren't tied to them by blood, obligation, or cultural norms that demand familial loyalty. Friends have the potential to recognize douchebaggery. They either ignore it or embrace it. In some rare cases, the friend of the douchebag may wish to dismantle their friendship in favor of not being associated with a douchebag. If the family does come to grips with the douchebag behavior, they will often times try redirect the behavior in a more positive direction though they just tend to put up with it anyway.

*It should be noted, if you have been called a douchebag by your parents or grandparents, you have taken a series of wrong turns in your life. What kind of horrible person do you have to be in order to have your parents and/or grandparents, the people who were the most tolerant of your existence, to call you that?

My point to all this is that the only thing separates us from douchebags is the quality and quantity of compliments we absorb over time.  A co-worker of mine once described a member of their family as someone that "all the goodness in the world is wrapped into." That's a powerful compliment. Even if it was their own family, it's still a big statement to make about anyone. I can safely say right now, I believe that person when they say that. That family member is probably not a douchebag and will probably not fall into that unappealing lifestyle. I will probably not receive a compliment like that in my lifetime. I don't think I could be that good anyway. But positive compliments define us. Positive compliments define the nice guy at the office, or the nice neighbor that steps up and helps without having been asked.

In short, we should all try to live in such a way that we never have the title "douchebag" or something worse attached to our names.

Be genuinely nice, assholes.

Delusions of Artistry

Going back and retaking old classes has been a pain in the ass. But it has also served as reminder of who I thought I once was. Most of the classes I took back in those days were based on my vague desire to be somewhat unique and to be identified as artistic. That's right, I somehow had the audacity to consider myself an artist.

How in the hell did I manage to fool myself into that delusion, you ask? Well, this was somewhat provoked by my early 20's identity crisis. Combine that with the delusion that I thought my writing was good enough to be considered art and the other delusion that I thought music could still be a viable career for me, I was pretty set on feeling like an artist. The main problem with this attitude was that I hadn't written anything artistic. I was still under the impression that my "poetry" was good enough for publishing because of it's artistic value. I hadn't matured enough to realize that my attempts at poetry was just over-dramatic crap, not art. I failed to recognize the difference. Aside from my "poetry", I have exactly 12 pieces of unfinished work. These works include screenplays, scripts, short stories and "novels." When I read them now, they lack anything that would be valuable to anyone except me. They are really bad. Just terrible. But as a self-proclaimed artist, I had already thoroughly convinced myself that these writings could "go somewhere."

Fast forward to the present day. My English/creative writing course, film analysis course, and holistic medicine course do not fit me now. It's like trying on clothes that I wore when I was 8. I grew out of them....more than just a little bit. While I do enjoy creative writing and analyzing movies, the holistic medicine course is just way out there. I didn't believe in it or like it much back then. I thought it would be a good experience, plus I was taking it with a good friend. But now it feels like trying to put on underwear that I used to wear when I was 5. It's just ill-fitting and really uncomfortable. It's very much like a wedgey that you just can't fix. I look around at the class and remember how I thought that I identified with these types of people. These creative types. These hippy/hipsters. These mellow, low motivated, entitled people. These types are in all three of these classes and all I want, more than anything, is to not deal with them.

Now it's not so important to be identified as an artist, or this and that. It's more important that I just good in the world and just be happy.

Gallbladder Failure

I think I've finally started to wear down my gallbladder a little. It probably wasn't a good idea seeing as though gallbladder disease runs in my family. I'm pretty sure I've had two moderate gallbladder attacks in the last couple days. After eating something greasy, I got the pain in my back that is often associated with gallbladder attacks. It wasn't enough to put me down and make me vomit, but I certainly didn't feel like moving for a little while. And just as fast as it came on, it suddenly disappeared a little while later.

Now I'm being forced to eat healthy or possibly suffer a real gallbladder attack. I suppose it was only a matter of time before my body started to feel the effects of years of greasy abuse.

I guess it's a better warning than a massive heart attack or stroke. Still, I can't help but wish that my gallbladder would stop being a pansy.

Video Games at School

There is a long list of things that are beyond my comprehension. The list would likely be the length of a large, drawn out novel. Today, I'll be focusing on one thing in particular that is frustratingly beyond my grasp of understanding.

What I do not understand is how people come to school only to play games on their computer. I'm not a boring stiff who doesn't appreciate the value of a good video game here and there. While it is true that I'm not a "gamer" or whatever genre of video game nerd you may be familiar with, I can't understand coming to school to just play a game. Couldn't you be doing that at home instead of wasting the school's limited bandwidth? Or better yet, shouldn't you be doing that another time when you should be allocating more of your time towards studying? I realize that statement is a little ironic. Here I am in the school library typing up this blog when I need to be reading 3 chapters. I've also wasted precious bandwidth and time in this library to stall for time instead of doing an important assignment. However, every semester there is always a group of people who do nothing but play their computer games in the library. They have backpacks that carry textbooks, which confirms they are students, and yet I've never seen any one of them do homework or reading. They just sit there and play the game. I simply cannot wrap my head around that. You come here to just play the game? But you're at school. When do you do homework, if at all? Sure, one could argue that perhaps they do their homework at home or somewhere else or that they manage their time differently. If they do homework somewhere else, why not play the game somewhere else as well? They didn't develop the love of the game somewhere else. They probably play it at home too. So why not just stay there? I can get playing it for an hour or two as a break or to stall for a short period of time. But every time I see them playing, they play the ENTIRE time I'm there studying. Hours and hours of time used at school to do that. That's why I blog. It's a nice break but I fully intend to get back to my assignment.

I guess it's not my place to judge. Everyone has their own ways of dealing with school and managing their time. My ways are far from superior and I haven't always been a good student. However, I think it's worth mentioning that after a month goes by, I no longer see this group of people playing their video games. In fact, I don't see them at all. It's as if they disappear. My best guess is they drop out or stop going to class in favor of playing the game or other things that are similarly stupid. Though it's possible they buckle down and focus on school after a month's time, I highly doubt it. I had a couple of classes with a couple of them. They just one day stop showing up. I even notice they had the audacity to play during the class as well. That seems like that's kind of a problem, right? I'm also guessing that they might play at school to cope with some sort of social anxiety. I'm not saying all of them are nerds with no people skills, but it certainly appears that way from what I've seen. I'm also guessing they may play at school because they might be wasting their parents money for tuition by playing games at school. You can't exactly play video games all day at home and then convincingly tell your parents that you've been hard at work with your studies.

Most of these people are young. I get it. I was a horrible, shitty student when I was that young. I just want to tell them that they should either go to school or just play games. Not both. Instead of wasting someone's time and money by playing games at school, just be honest with yourself and not go to school until you're ready to commit. That talk wouldn't have worked on me back then though.

I simply don't understand it.

Winter Insanity

January is easily my least favorite month. Ironically, it contains my 2nd most favorite holiday: New Years. Other than that, January serves no purpose than to be cold and miserable. It's the coldest month of the year. It's freezing. It's dark. It's smoggy. It's winter personified. December is bad but January is worse. January is that extreme realm of winter shittiness. I never realize how hard winter hits me until I have a really good day and realize that the rest of my days during the month have felt like being drug through a cactus patch. It's only during this time of year that I feel this way this strongly. In the Summer it's practically euphoria. A mental orgasm induced by the sun and the promise of outdoor adventures.

I need more ways to combat the winter blues. Maybe I'll pick up knitting or some other pointless hobby. Maybe I can build model ships and then knit my models warm clothes in case they get chilly. Perhaps I can start collecting random ceramic knick-knacks, and then build them a display case made from Legos, K'nex, Lincoln Logs, and pieces of an old Erector set. Better yet, I'll collect expensive spoons, knit them warm sheaths, and then construct them a grand palace made exclusively of colored dominoes. It will be hard work but well worth it in the end. Right?

Spring and Summer, please come quickly. I need you.

The Introverts Nightmare

I'm now dreading one of the classes I'm taking this semester. I've taken it before but it was close to 6 years ago. I'm retaking it now to get a better grade. When I first took it, I thought it would be an easy A. I also took it because my friend was taking it and he insisted it wouldn't be so bad if we did it together. He was mostly right. The class wasn't so bad since he was there. However, the class did tend to offend my logical, scientific mind with the grandiose claims of holistic medicine. Although I knew this is what the class would entail, I had a hard time just going along with it. My teacher unfortunately prodded me into engaging her with my views, which she found offensive. I'm not talking about vulgar offensive. But offensive in that everything she taught I disagreed with based on the fact almost none of it was scientifically evaluated or evidence based. I would have been happy to just go along with it silently. But no, she always asked me my opinion, shook her head and gave me a terrible participation grade. Long story short, I didn't do so well in the class which is why I'm retaking it now.

Flash forward to today's class: I'm totally screwed. This class is full of super extroverted, self-indulgent, egotistical hippies and hipsters. Just about everyone could not shut up talking about themselves. Just about everyone had no problem talking loudly to others while the instructor was talking. Just about everyone was under the impression they were unique and talented individuals with a smug "better than thou" attitude. I just wanted to disappear. I couldn't hear myself think over all the noise of what was supposed to be a classroom. They were all the stereotypical hipster/hippy crowd, except on proverbial steroids. These weren't just any self-important hipsters. These were rude, entitled, arrogant, don't-give-a-shit assholes who will make this class a living hell. But I have to take it. It's the only day that works with my schedule, I have to repair my old grade and this class will be an A. I've already seen the course load. I would be a fool to not follow through just because everyone else bothers me. 

Still. I don't like it. 

I'll be the class hermit. 

That's a title I can be proud of. 

People Are Moderately Funny Sometimes

The first week of class every semester provides some entertainment for what is normally a boring and often frustrating period of time. It's almost the same every new semester. The younger girls are often laughably overdressed to impress as if it's the first day of high school. Though, many older women are also a bit overdressed to impress as well. In fact, overdressed is probably not the right term for it. Underdressed would probably be a better word. This morning it was literally 7 degrees outside. 7! That is horrifically cold. Yet everywhere I looked there was some 19 year old girl in short shorts, legs exposed, walking around as if the state were enjoying unseasonably warm tropical temperatures. How desperate for attention can you possibly be?

However, it would be unfair for me to pin this sort of attention-seeking behavior on the women here. There is plenty of douchebag guys roaming the premise in nothing but tight shirts and gym shorts. Even then, plenty of guys are just in long sleeve t-shirts and pants. I'm not saying you have to dress like you're braving an arctic blizzard of epic proportions. I'm not dressed in a heavy jacket myself. I'm just in a regular zip-up hoodie. I have hard time justifying being in a heavy coat when I'm walking outside for less than 2 minutes at a time. There is hardly an attention-seeking or fashion element involved in this decision. I simply don't want to wear a heavy coat for 2 minutes of time outside. What I can't justify is dressing in minimal clothing just to garner attention to satisfy a hungry ego. It just doesn't make any sense.

On the positive side, there is something sickly entertaining to watching these people freeze their ass off. The best part is, you can tell they are just dying of hypothermia but they are playing it off as if the cold doesn't even bother them. Never mind the fact their noses and ears look painfully red, their walking is stiff, and every single one of them has the sniffles. I guess this is the one thing I can take as quasi-positive during a week that frustrates me with bad parking, rude people, and the uncomfortable adjustment to a new routine.

Teaching

Lately, I've been having EMT students follow me at work. It's mildly rewarding at best. Mostly, it's not rewarding at all. For the most part, they are naive high school kids who think they own the world already. It makes me wonder if I was that arrogant when I was that young. I find myself becoming extremely irritated just dealing with them. But I've been debating why I've been so irritated. Is it because these are young kids who act with so much hope and dreams that I'm just mad that they aren't as burned out as me? That reality hasn't burned them out? Or are they really that irritating? Are they really that arrogant and reckless and I'm that old now and that sort of thing irritates me now? It might be a combination of all of the above. I hope I wasn't that bad and I can just blame it on this generation being raised inferior to my generation (my generation is still horrible and shitty, but not as bad as today's. I think I can safely assume the generation before mine has already labeled my generation as inferior and shitty )

Of course, making the assumption that the succeeding generations are inferior in character automatically makes me a grandpa. I guess I have no choice but to just embrace my grouchy old man ways. They seem like they are here to stay.

Last Days of Freedom

I start school again in two days. I can't say I'm hugely excited about it. I was starting to get the hang of the whole "lazy bum" kind of thing. It was nice to only worry about work and nothing else. On the other hand, I feel somewhat compelled to go back. I've been bored not having too much to do. Not having a purpose. But I'm equally nervous to go back. This upcoming semester will certainly be an ass kicker. It will be full of work and bullshit. Mostly bullshit. I'm afraid it will be too much. Or maybe it won't be too bad like my last semester. Maybe just really busy but doable.

I've been trying to enjoy my last few days of doing nothing. I know I will greatly miss them when I'm up to my ass in busy work. 5 days a week of school. That will be a new one for me. Maybe I'm over-thinking it and it won't be so bad after all.

Or maybe I'm setting myself up for the biggest social/academic raping of my life.

Stay tuned to find out.

Breathable Air

The air quality in my state has been awful. It's been like breathing pudding that has been rolled around in the dirt. This type of air quality is less than optimal for even an average quality of life. My cold lasted twice as long than it usually does. I couldn't walk outside without feeling like a big fat guy walking 20 feet without the assistance of a walker or jazzy. Feeling like a big fat guy on a daily basis is no quality of life......Unless you like being a big fat guy, then I guess it's ok. As we speak, I'm gradually recovering from this miserable cold. With the air of a somewhat better quality, I have felt much better. Sure, it could be a coincidence that I just happened to start feeling better when the air started to clear. Or maybe, the air got better and I started to feel better.

Please don't be mistaken, this is not the point in my post where I make a preachy opinion about the environment and subtly imply how I know better than most people about the subject. Nay, this is also not the point in my post where I make a vague call for action and smugly declare I knew this was a problem before most people. No, I will not be making a point to say something about the failure of our politicians or recommending a book that I think "everyone should read."

This is the point in my post where I abruptly end it without proper closure.

Sorry. [Kind of, not really]

Truck Stop

When I was in Idaho for Christmas, something was different. When we passed by the site of the old family truck stop, it was found that a new one had been put up in its place. For some reason, that really tugged at my nostalgic heart strings. I think it got to my dad too. It was strange to know that the truck stop was gone for good, though it had been torn down about a year before. But to have something built over the top of it was somehow hurtful. I think I've always just assumed that the old truck stop would be there. I would always imagine taking my kids there someday and hope when they got older they would come here with the same feelings of nostalgia as I did. Even though the building had been gone for a while, it really hit hard that something else was already there. Even if the building was abandoned and left behind, I might have felt better about it. It would have at least stood as a symbol of countless memorable stops.

I suppose it's not that big of a deal. It's just an old building and nothing lasts forever. But still, every time I think about it, I feel as though a piece of my childhood has gone missing.

Resolutionary Thoughts

Now that the 2nd day in January is now over halfway done, I guess I have to start thinking of New Years resolutions. Sure, it probably would have been smarter and more time efficient to have thought of all this before the new year started. But then I would have had to take precious time from other elements of my life to concoct these resolutions. Frankly, I was not willing to allocate time from sitting on my ass, reading, working, and other such activities towards figuring out resolutions.

Now I'm confronted with the idea of having to figure this all out ASAP. I had vague ideas beforehand of what I wanted to accomplish this year but decided "I'll think about it later." January is firmly under way. No going back now.

So what is it I want to accomplish this year? I've done a pretty good job in years past of getting what I want done. My resolutions don't change too much through the years. For the most part, I generally promise to do better in school, do my good deeds every year, and stay in shape. Those will be staying in. But what to add? I can definitely keep going with the being a nicer person thing. I can use more improvement on that. Maybe I should try more new things. I tried rock climbing for the first time yesterday and it was awesome. I'll try new things within reason. I won't elaborate further. But I'll try more new things this year. I would like to travel more, but it's unlikely I'll be able to accomplish that.

Ok that's it. I won't try to make anymore. If I try to make too many goals, some will undoubtedly fall by the wayside. Let's just concentrate on this for now.

New Year Awesomeness

New Years is my 2nd favorite holiday. It's such a wonderful premise. You get together with your friends and family every year, celebrate the old year leaving, look forward to a new and better year ahead. What's not to like? I suppose that holiday could get rather lonely if you have no friends. However, I do not have that problem. Every year, my New Years Eve kicks ass. The following New Years day, I'm intoxicated with hope for a new beginning. New resolutions to better ones self. Hope for better times. Hope for better decisions.

This New Years was no exception. After an awesome night with my best friends, the next day proved to be awesome. I slept in for a while, then went to lunch with the same group of friends at my favorite pizza place. I ate a ton of pizza. It almost made me sick. Almost. Then I went rock climbing for the first time. Surprisingly, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm pretty scared of heights and have an intense fear of falling to my death. This was not helped by someone actually falling at the climbing gym to the point an ambulance carried them out. However, I pressed on anyhow and enjoyed my time there. I probably won't pursue it as a part time hobby, but I may dabble in it every now and then. It seems really expensive to get into. I already have enough expensive hobbies that I'm into. However, if someone asks me to go to a climbing gym with them, I would be less inclined to say no from now on.

Now I'm just relaxing. All is well and right with the world today. I think I'll revel in that feeling for a while. I don't get it very often.