You'll Never Understand The Opposite Sex You Fool!

Thats right, I said it. You can never possibly understand the opposite sex. We are both blinded by our own arrogance. Some people think that men are just defective women. Basically a woman with a penis. Others think that women are defective men. Or a man with a pocket. We can't possibly think that we are the same people with different body parts. It just doesn't work like that. I don't remember the last time I watched the superbowl with a woman and heard her say "Hey, how about after the superbowl, we watch some porn and then go pick a fight. Hell, we should get drunk afterwards just to celebrate!" That's definitely not something a woman would say (usually). Hence, she is not a man without a penis. I don't remember the last time I heard any guy say "Hey how about we go eat ice cream, watch a few chick flicks, then go in my basement and call some guys while reading magazines" I haven't even heard a gay guy say that.
There truly is differences between us. However understanding the differences can mean understanding each other just a little bit. Not much so don't get your hopes up. Here is some differences I have picked out that you may recognize.
1. Excuses
Women: They always have excuses right on hand. Even if they are possibly the most outrageous science defying stories ever, they somehow work most of the time. Example: If a guy asks something as simple as "Why were you late?" be prepared for the story of a lifetime.
Woman: Why was I late? Why was I not late? First I was driving down the street when I almost hit this one guy. Then I went to the store and it turns out I had to help unload the milk truck. Then my friend called me, her boyfriend just broke up with her so I talked to her for a little bit. And its all because I only got 4 hours of sleep!"
Sound familiar? Probably not. But you get what I mean. They are always ready to talk with some sort of story.
Men: Men have excuses. But they are short. There is no story behind them most of the time. Nothing juicy. You ask a guy why he was late and it's usually a sentence.
Man: I was late because I had to help my mom move, sorry.
That's it. Nothing to it. There's no background info. Theres nothing like "I had to help my mom move because she hurt her back, then we went to lunch at this really good restaurant that you have to try. Then we took another break because we were so tired. Then I looked at the clock and realized I was late. I was like oh my God, I'm late."
2. Food
Women: I don't know a lot of women who are my size that will try to eat more than me. Not necessarily a bad thing. But women tend to hide how much they can eat until they get married. Then the pounds add up faster than a blink of an eye. Until that time it's always a salad, or maybe a little cheeseburger. You can take them to an expensive restaurant and it will still be a salad and a nibble on the 40 dollar steak.
Men: Men aren't nearly as self conscious half the time. Most men can enjoy a 40 dollar steak and eat it like it was their last meal in the presence of an attractive woman. Some do this in the knowing that this may not get them a good night kiss or any form of contact later on. But they are spending the money on the meal so why not enjoy it, right?
3. Driving
Women: Men are scared of women's driving a lot of the time. And it's not always because of the poor musical taste of the girl during ride. Women drive like no one else is on the road while creating the illusion they are being sensible cutting the guy off who "isn't going fast enough." Women are rational drivers. Everything that is done is rationalized somehow in the form of an excuse. "That guy is too slow" "That lady wouldn't get out of the way" "That light didn't stay green long enough" "That person shouldn't have been crossing the street while I was driving through"
Men: Men generally realize they are bad drivers because they are more risky. There is no excuse for the way they drive. It's just "I'm going to cut this guy off in front of the cop while my buddy moons the cars on the other side of me because it would be fun" And usually that is fun. It's a blast! Men drive risky most of the time for the rush of getting caught or almost getting in a horrible accident that will be on the evening news. Somehow this impresses some girls. I don't know how, but it does.
4. Problems
Women: Problems for women is a lot like some sort of bad tasting chocolate they can't put down. They hate being a part of it, they hate it to happen to people they know, but damn it they do love to listen to it and give advice that would seem almost like drunk talk to the average person.
Woman 1: My boyfriend broke up with me. I'm so hurt.
Woman 2: Maybe it's because he is just trying to get over you because he loves playing rugby so much
Woman 1: He doesn't play rugby..........but you're probably right.
The thing about women is, they love to talk about it more than they like to solve it. It's talked about and drug out for soooo long. Analyzing every facet of the situation like there is some sort of symbolic meaning with each word said.
Men: Problems to men are just problems that don't have solutions yet. Men like to fix things. They like answers and solutions. Not maybe's or what if's. It's just that simple.
Man 1: I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. What should I do?
Man 2: Dump that bitch and you, me and everyone else will have a boys night out. Take it easy for a while and go out and meet more women when you're ready.
Man 1: You're right. It's a good thing that wasn't needlessly complicated or drug out for the sake of mere attention and conversation.
5. Emotions
Women: There is no explanation as to why some women are more emotional and others are seemlingly emotionless and cold. There is no way to pinpoint that. Womens emotions are all about complete balance. If something is out of line, so is everything else usually. Like a stand of christmas lights, if one bulb goes out, so do the rest. How do you handle it? You don't. You just roll over and give up. Fighting the emotions of a woman is a lot like the Flintstones going to war with the Jetsons. There is no winning scenario for the Flintstones except for overwhelming destruction. Am I serious? No. But I'm not the one to tell you how to handle the emotions of women.
Men: Men have emotions that come and go. The simple ones are the easiest to see. If he looks happy, then he's probably happy. If he looks pissed, then he is probably pissed. There is no guessing game with that. It's the deeper emotions that are usually a mystery. Maybe the stress, family problems, personal dissatisfaction. It takes time to reach that. You can't just ask what's wrong and instantly expect him to put out an answer like it's easy to talk about. Men's emotions are simple generally. But many people look too deep for what isn't there. We aren't like women in the fact there isn't a huge hidden meaning or story behind the emotion. It's just raw emotion, plain and simple.
Does this help? No. Not at all. This list of horrible stereotypes will bring you no closer to understanding the opposite sex. You're pretty much screwed and on your own no matter how good of oppinions you may think you have. But I did have fun writing this and I hope you gained some amount entertainment reading it. If you haven't subscribe, I hope you take the time to do so. I really appreciate those who read my blogs consistantly and tell me what they think of my writing. Thanks for reading and puttin up with this!

Updated Me: Version 7.16

The tests of life are a lot like getting dumped by a crummy boyfriend/girlfriend, but you don't realize how much good it was for you until much later. My patience, temper, and stress levels have definitely been put to the test the past little while. Mostly my crap ass job has been putting this to the test. This month was more than I could stand. Filled with stories featuring incompetent middle aged supervisors with nothing to live for and nurses without a soul. It came to the point where I completely snapped and yelled at my supervisor. And I don't mean "yell" as in I sat down with my supervisor, had a genuine intelligent conversation about my treatment at the workplace. It was the first time in my entire life where I had raised my voice in anger towards another person with the intention of mentally destroying them. Despite my angerous lashing, nothing was accomplished. I felt more depleted and stressed. I was just going to quit my job for a while and hope to get a new one. Before I did that, I was going to report that supervisor to the director of human resources, hoping that there would be severe consequences for the actions taken. I feared losing my job anyway for the way I had acted. The one time in my life, I explode is the time it could cost me my job. The next day, I got offered a job at Alta View Hospital as a Clinical Lab Assistant. I gratefully accepted and decided to not turn in my supervisor. But I did vow to be particularl lazy and less caring about my job. So far so good.
Finally, the day I had longed for. The day I could leave the job I have now and do something new and different. A burden feels lifted from me in a way. I have been waiting for this day for almost year after countless interviews and broken hopes. On top of that, if it wasn't for my friends keeping me sane, having late night fires and adventures, I probably would have snapped a long time ago and probably more often. Thanks to all of them! I feel great now. Next month I will be starting an EMT class and probably taking more of my college classes with my good amigos. It will definitely help the semester go by faster and easier. Things are starting to shape up the way I want for now. I realize that things will go back to being stressful and what not. That's life. But I feel recharged and ready for more of what life has to offer me. :)
I miss Local. That store was a big piece of my life. I never realized how much I went there until it was gone and had no where to go. I miss the people greatly. The people that made it fun and worth while. I miss staying up late and watching movies and watching Allred practice. I miss talking with Eric in a witty fashion and speaking with Erin about any opinion that comes to mind. I miss Courtney's upbeat personality and John's rants. I miss Shila in the way she made it seem like I was somehow funny a lot. I am definitely proud to have been a part of the music that makes up a part of my life and I'm proud to have helped and worked with the people I did there. It meant a lot to me and I will always miss it. It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but to me it was something that I will surely never forget.
The other day I was driving with one of my friends. We were talking about something casual when my friend noticed the people in front of us being all cuddly and what not. He blurted some angry comments about how he hated happy couples and how he wanted something like that. He was jealous. I didn't think anything of it. I haven't at all recently. At this point in my life, I realized that girls are a bonus but not a necessity. I couldn't even think about me being tied to a girl right now. Honestly, I'm sure it would be great. It could be something different. Could be something I could use. But it's something that hasn't been on my mind at all the past few months. I've gotten over a couple of individuals recently and I have never felt better. I haven't really found anyone worth dating and it hasn't bothered at all. Those feelings of loneliness come and go but right now, I'm happy knowing that I'm in no rush and eventually to some degree, maybe my patience will pay off like it has before. I'm not going to go out of my way looking for something to throw myself into. This part of the blog may possibly be the most pointless. But it helped me realize that it has put my mind at ease to not worry about things like this and to just live life and let whatever happens happen. I'm excited for the future and what tomorrow's possibilities bring. Good or bad, I feel just a little stronger than I did a few months ago and even more so than a year ago.
And that is my life update as of now you silly shits.
Subscribe and enjoy. :)

I Waste Your Time Because It Brings Me Joy

I like July. I can go as far to say its probably my favorite month of the year. There is so many different ways to enjoy the month. The way you can walk outside at any time of the day and never feel cold. The way you can have your car window rolled down at 3 A.M just take in the mild summer air. The way the rain smells after it hits the warm pavement. The way the wind moves around your body instead of cutting through it like winter air. The way you can almost always smell fireworks in the distance for most of the month. The way you can always hear little kids laughing and screaming enjoying themselves. So many ways. Looking at little kids have fun this time of year kind of makes you appreciate your own childhood. How much easier it was then. The only thing you had to worry about was avoiding chores all day. Other than that, your best friend was typically the one with the personality closest to yours and with the cooler toys and video games than yours. You didn't have to worry about getting a job or what the opposite sex thought of you. (ewwww cooties) July was that magical time of the year that you lived up because in August you were doing back to school shopping. I guess now if you're in college you do relatively the same thing. 4th of July always seems to get better too. The one day of the year where you can blow shit up, get drunk, eat ridiculous amounts of greesy foods, while possibly having heat stroke at the same time. New years can't compete! New Years, you get drunk while freezing off valuable body parts. And if you're lucky you're the one lighting off illegal fireworks when it strikes 12 instead of watching them from a distance while you're asshole neighber bangs pots and pans in your ears. Is there anything July can't do?
If you live in Utah you get to celebrate the 24th of July. The 24th of July basically celebrates the day Utah was admitted to the union as part of the United States. Its a second 4th of July with a slightly different reason. Does anybody ever think of that when they celebrate the 24th? At least once during the 4th of July you think of something semi-patriotic. Maybe George Washington, the revolutionary war. And yes even Uncle Same counts. I don't think I have once celebrated the 24th of July and thought
"Woo Hoo for Utah! Lets all drink beer and get hydrated!"
or
"That Brigham Young was on to something when he founded this place and made sure that the state closed down completely on Sunday and at 9pm on the weekends! Thank you!"
or even
"To Utah! May your winter seasons be unforgivingly cold, your summers unforgettably hot and your women completely untouchable!"
I could go on.............
But that would be wrong of me since I do like to celebrate the 24th of July. I see it as a second chance to do all the shit I didn' get to do on the 4th. Redemption if you will.
I'm sure you're wondering by this point if this blog is going to go anywhere.......the answer is no. But to be hoenst, I tried writing this blog once before. My sister scared the crap out of me and I accidentally clicked out of the blog. It was a lot like this but better. So I thought I should try to recreate it. There was very little success. In any case, I'm done wasting your time. The next one will be filled with a little more meaning. Which I'm sure I will be writing almost directly after this one.
Enjoy.

The Summer Wind is Strangely Nostalgic

Writing seems to be my only escape from the shackles of reality and work the past few months. Music used to be my outlet. But that outlet feels ineffiicient recently. Writing is the way I express myself good or bad and it feels as though a weight has been lifted off my chest every time I do.
Well I guess this is the update of my life in June. For some reason, I'm more stressed than I should be. It's summer and I love it. I've had adventures and a lot of fun so far. The summer wind brings back so many memories. It's odd how it does. The second the wind sweeps my body, it's like I travel back in time instantly. I can be brought back as far as 6th grade riding my bike in front of the church that's up the street from me. I can be brought back to last year, feeling refreshed and relieved that high school is over. Strange to think that I've been out of high school for a year now. Not that I miss it. But it sure is a sobering reminder of how fast life can pass you by. But that's not a worry. Lately, it feels like I should be somewher else. Deep inside, I know something big is coming soon. I tell myself that I'm due for a miracle. Something to pull myself from where I am. I hope it's a new job. Or maybe even a girl worth meeting since this state has an extreme lack of that. The job is more important though. It's what I want and it's not like I'm not trying either. It's like I'm feeling stressed and I can't pinpoint exactly what's making me tick. What is making me feel this way. I'm not really an uptight guy either. It's strange. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm running on a treadmill. I can run as fast as I want, as hard as I can, with all my effort, and still get no where. Thats what I feel like. I'm not going in circles because that would mean new events would happen but somehow bring me back to the beginning. It's more like it's the same shit and I'm a dead float in the water. I just know inside that something is coming. I don't know what. And hopefully it's good. But I know something is coming. It's a feeling I can't describe.
In time, I know I'll find my answers. They're out there. But in the meantime I guess I'll wait for the wind to carry me away from this dead float.

Advice for the Unethical, the Mediocre, and the Lazy

If you're reading this, then chances are you are unethical, mediocre, or lazy. Maybe even all of the above plus being disgruntled and unmotivated! There is even the possibility that you are not any of the above but are curious as to what kind of advice lazy, mediocre, and unethical people would take. Well I've been pretty bored at work lately and I've compiled some ways to keep sane at work if a vacation isn't in the near future.
1. So lets just say you're stressed and your next vacation away from work isn't for a while, how do you find the strength to go on? Here is a good way to keep pushing forward. Chances are, there is someone in your workplace that you cannot stand. Most likely a co-worker you see most of the days you work. They don't have to be mean in order to be intolerable. They can be empty-headed morons with a personality of a bratty 12 year old girl. I suggest ignoring that person or avoiding contact with that individual as much as you can. For some workplaces, it's impossible to not talk to your co-workers. So if you have to speak, make it brief and bland and keep the sentences under 6 words long. 3 words for optimal results. It may not be a classy trip to Europe. But it's a step back from insanity. Ignoring annoying co-workers can make it feel like you're at least partly away from work. I've tried it before and it worked wonders. If you want to be a bastard about it, you can make it obvious you're ignoring. Walk past them when they greet you. Or if you have to, act sick one on one and in the presence of other people be extremely animated and "unsick." If you shift this behavior back and forth, they may get the point and leave you alone longer than you intended. Thats a bonus!
2. Do you not care about your job to the point it doesn't matter who you run your mouth off to but you care enough not to get fired? Well this can help make your policy more enjoyable! I suggest being generally unpleasant to the co-workers you don't know or care for much. There is less of a chance they will try to pawn their work off on you or ask you  for help. Which leaves you in this neutral zone. But beware: too much unpleasantness makes you an asshole, and people will have no problem screwing you over. Not enough unpleasantness and people think you just had a bad day and it won't happen often. You must find the middle of being unpleasant. You have to make it to the point where people accept that may be just the way you are and it can be humorous to other people watching. Be a smart ass to your co-workers and even test your supervisors limits by making indirect smart ass comments while talking to them. If you get written up or got a firm lecture, you've gone too far. But if you annoyed them to the point it was a minor verbal warning, you're in the clear. Now you may ask, "Why would I do this?" That is a good legitimate question. If you have annoyed everyone in earshot for a month, this sets you up for a good job. So lets say you interview for a different job at a major corporation and this corporation calls your current job to get an idea of what you're like from your current supervisor. This does happen. But here is the best part. Your supervisor has 2 choices. They can either talk you up like you're the star employee and get you the hell out of their hair..........or they can give you a bad reference and keep you around for another 3 months and listen to you bitch some more. Not a hard decision for even the most ignorant supervisor.
3. A little tired of the job? Disgruntled perhaps? Been their for too long? Well my friend, a new job is around the corner I'm sure. But in the meantime, express yourself at work! Express your unhappiness at work in more than just bitching and moaning. If you have access to a computer with a screensaver, I suggest changing the screensaver setting to the "marquee" setting. At that point, you type really unmotivating phrases and quotes. Don't have any ideas? Let me fuel you with some to get started.
Overachievement: the tallest blade of grass is the first to get cut down
Mediocrity: It takes less time and no one notices until it's too late
If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly
The harder you try, the dumber you look
Get back to work! You're not getting paid to believe in the power of your dreams!
You're unique....just like everyone else
Until you spread your wings, you will have no idea how far you can walk
Not everyone gets to be an astronaut or a doctor when they grow up
Unmotivational screensaving is a victimless action. I've done it myself and the results bring me joy. If you keep an amount of secrecy, it's fun to watch people try to blame others for who might have done it. But if you're infamous for hating your job and they know its you, then they will know you're not only cynical, but kind of witty too. Even if they do catch you, they are likely not to fire you anyway. No employer likes to go through the interview process. I'm pretty sure no one as kids sat on the playground thinking "When I grow up, I want to hire people based on first impressions in an hours time."
4. Do you feed off the misery of other people? In some way, yes you do. If you feel crappy about the work you do, take a look around. There are people who are in the same boat as you. But not quite the same category. Making fun of other co-workers who are socially inept is kind of funny. Nicknaming co-workers is always fun. Compare them to animals that are generally not sold as stuffed animals. So that would make them unpleasant and undesirable. Don't let the confines of convential reality and science limit you either. Go into the realms of science fiction and fantasy to pull off the worst ones, like ogre and troll. Real life animal names are harder but funner. Like a sloth is a good one. Comparing someone to a dinosaur isn't too bad of an idea either. If you feel bold, maybe share the nicknames you created with a fellow co-worker. Even if they are untrustable. If it gets around, that may push a useless worker to quit....or put you on their hit list.
5. Do you go through jobs really quick? Well if you can't stay in one place too long, don't try to prove yourself as a hard worker immediately. Take some time to screw over the job a bit. Maybe go home sick because staring at the carpert pattern made you sick to your stomach, or try to get on workmans comp because an unnattractive female co-worker was clearly not wearing a bra. Traumatizing! Tell contradicting stories of your sick days and re-use them constantly. It wouldn't be smart of you to use that job as a reference unless you somehow shaped up and no one remembers you being an arrogant assface.
6. Interviewing for jobs that you applied for just to see what would happen or a job you wouldn't care for, does have its perks. If it's a job you don't care for, stumble into the the interview room like you have a physical disability but insist you're just fine. Shift in your chair uncomfortably many times during the interview groaning. And mumble something low but kind of audible like "damn herpes...........n' arthritis." Or if you're really low class you can act like you're kind of slow in the head. They may just hire you because they feel bad. You can get paid the highest wage offered and not be expected to do all the work or not do most of the work correctly. I think the funniest thing would be since most people who are reading this were born in the 80's, is to act like a Vietnam vet. During the interview, act like you're phasing in and out and throw in the words "Nam." and "charlie is in the bushes" under your breathe throughout the interview. They may think you're slow and hire you anyway or just tell you to get out for being a dumbass. Either way, I don't see a losing situation!
I hope some of this helped. I have actually done a lot of this. Not all of it. But I can tell you, it is fun and kind of helpful if you're stressed about the job. Hope you enjoyed reading it anyway!

My Adventures in Idaho and Other Random Crap

So I'm sure many of you heard about my general exictement about going to Idaho and camping over the Memorial weekend. It's a family tradition and I do it every year. I paintball, fourwheel, shoot guns, sit by a fire, fish.....everything! This year was different. I got sick on the way up with a nasty cold. It was cold and miserable to the point where it snowed on us and the four wheelers were deep in the mud. My van got stuck in the mud. My uncles 2006 Ford turbo deisel got stuck in the mud up to the door handle. It took 4 other turbo deisel trucks to pull him out. but in the process got 2 others stuck. Long story. I needed a break and I got screwed. I even got turned down for that job I wanted. I was 2nd place runner for the anesthesia tech job at the university hospital. I got offered a job at the other 2 but I turned them down since they were jobs I would instantly hate. I hate my current job as it is. Why get out to hate another job, maybe even more than I do now?
But stay tuned, I'm going to attempt to be witty here in a moment.
Idaho is an odd state. I drove my bus the whole way up. It was actually fun to do. But people in big trucks have some sort of weird complex with being passed by a  VW bus. I was behind this trucker for a good 40 miles. Everytime I tried to pass him, he would suddenly speed up obviously knowing I couldn't keep up. I would have no choice but to pull behind him and let the other cars pass on the 2 lane Idaho freeway. Then he would slow way down and I would be riding his ass. So I would go to pass him and that prick would speed up again! I could almost imagine his thoughts
"No liberal-ass gun hating hippy is passing me!"
He eventually pulled off onto an exit and as I passed him he flipped me off and smiled. Sad thing is, on the way back home, some ass towing a trailer did about the same thing. I would go to pass him and he would speed up. This time though, I won. This lasted for about 20 minutes. The guy had the typical cowboy hat, big truck, handlebar mustache and some wife that might have been attractive back in the 70's. She seemed to plead with him at one point just to let me pass him because she was pointing at my bus yelling at him and he was just calmly waving her off. Finally my chance came to pass him up and give him the glaring of a lifetime! After going uphill behind this jackass, I knew there was going to be a downhill afterwards. That was my chance to pull ahead. The freeway was narrowing down to one lane. The top of the hill came and I downshifted and pushed my van hard. I raced downhill at speeds my van has never seen before: The speed limit! I reached 75 miles an hour and pulled ahead. I gave him a dirty look and shook my head, followed by rolling my eyes. The wife turned and glared at the husband and seemed to yell at him more. I not only passed him, but the 2 cars in front of him and cut them off like a circumcising rabi so I could get into the other lane. My ego was full and I couldn't have been more pleased with how that went. I discovered that it's socially unacceptable to drive a bus in Idaho or anything that is not a truck of some kind. You should have seen all the people in Idaho gawk at my van like I should be put out of my misery.
Lets not forget my trip to the grocery store in Idaho. I stopped at my grandmas house since I hadn't showered in 4 days to clean up and what not. I was fairly muddy and I smelled like an open fire. The second I walked in my grandma is like "John, I need butter, will you be a sweety and by some butter from the grocery store." So I turned around and walked back the 3 feet from wence I came and drove to the store. I grabbed the butter and hit the express check. In front of me in line was a very obese older couple just standing there with just about every condiment known to man being held in their stubby arms. If dirt was a condiment, they probably would have bought that too. The line moved forward and some guy flat tired me. I turned around quickly to see who it was and sent a whiff of the campfire smell from my jacket into the air. The couple in front of me immediately remarked.
"What smells like a nice smoked ham?" said the lady
"Ham? Smells more like roast smoked turkey to me." argued the man.
"Ooo that sounds so good right now. A nice buttered ham with gravy," the obese lady fanticized.
"Where in the hell is that smell coming from? It's making me hungry. Maybe I can pick one up." suggested the male obesity statistic.
They both turned around and finally became aware of my existence for the first time since we had been standing there. They looked down at me with their eyes narrowed.
"Son, is that you that smells like a delicious roast turkey?" asked the male creature.
I didn't know what to say to that. I've never been called a delcious roast turkey before just because I smelt like a campfire.
"Um, I guess so," I replied meekly
By this point they were at the register purchasing their condiment needs for eating spam and to presumably watch the NASCAR preseason. Maybe even catching the next pay-per view wrestling program on TV.
"Ooo you got butter?! I could just butter you up and eat you alive because you smell so gosh darn good," giggled the lady.
Did I just get threatened to be eaten alive by another human being? A piece of me was saying: You need to get the hell out of the store before you get thrown in an itchy potato sack and end up over a blazing fire slathered in the butter you just purchased. Another piece was saying: These creepy fat people are kind of cool...........But don't joke around too much, they may just eat you anyway. I finally reached the register and was paying for the butter. This should have been the time the couple in front left the line and went on with their lives. But no. They stood their and waited for me while making more comments.
"So how did you get to be smelling so darn good, son? The ladies must love ya," said the man. I didn't detect a hint of humor in his voice that time.
"I was just camping on the Montana border. I was just by an oper fire a lot I guess," I replied flatly
"Oh yeah? I've been camping many a times and I've never smelt as good as that. I would just butter you up and eat ya if you were my son," said the lady with a smile.
I kind of giggled and made my way towards the door and said bye. I've been threatened to be eaten by that lady twice. The man seemed to be hint more in a straight forward way. I know they meant well with what appeared to be an Idaho sense of humor, but the thought of being eaten after a bad camping trip didn't seem so pleasant. I wondered if they had kids and one spilt barbeque sauce on themsevles and the parents ate him because he smelt so darn good. Besides that would be an awful waste of barbeque sauce.  That goes down in my list of "Top 20 Most Awkward Moments." 12th place seems about right for that one.
Moving on...........
Idaho has a really weird coordinate system too. It clearly shows that Idaho's public education system has dismally failed the state at large. It's relatively simple but really reflects poorly on the spent tax dollars and intelligence of the Idaho people. They have 3 major main streets where I was at. There is the numbered streets that go from 1st street to I think 24th straight. Pretty simple. The main road is an attempt to alphabetize the roads. First street, A street. So far soo good. Next, B street. I think I'm seeing a pattern here. Next street, Constitution street. What the hell happened to C street?! I looked around to see if maybe there was some sort of patriotic monument nearby. Closest thing to patriotic was ironically the donut shop across the street with a shitload of cop cars in front of it. The stoplights were all with in 10 feet of each other for about 2 miles. It was pointless to even accelerate to the next light because it would be red by the time the 5 seconds was up. It would almost be faster to be paralyzed in a slow outdated electric wheelchair and just take the sidewalks. I went to the next light. Ah, there's C street. Was the Constitution street an attempt to patriotically alphabetize names? Wouldn't it be interesting to see something as useless as this?
A street
American street
B street
Beuracracy street
C street
Constitution street
D street
Democracy street
E street
Economy street
etc
Whatever it was, it threw me off. So I continued the next 10 feet to D street. Good. E street. F street................Cliff street? Did they forget the alphabet?! I'm pretty sure the founders of the town were much too inbred to remember numbers and the alphabet at the same time They probably just named that street after the hick who put up the sign. As I went down the street, it suddenly turned into adjective highway. Short street. Long street. Blue street. Rocky street. Black street. I'm not kidding either. It's like 2nd graders named the streets after their last spelling test.
Somehow along my botched camping trip, I realized why old people buy useless crap. They have nothing else to do with their money! They buy tacky pottery and pick up weird collecting hobbies. My grandparents for example, they buy the most expensive shampoo. One set of shampoo and conditioner for my grandmother another set for my grandpa. They both use 80 dollar products. Which doesn't make sense for my grandpa. I love the guy to death, but he is going bald. This would also explain why grandparents tend to spoil their grandkids. They get to see their money go to use while pissing off the parents for being so leanient and generous. It makes sense. You rarely see old people go out and buy new boats, clothes that don't come from the thrift store, and sports cars. They don't have much use for that.
Speaking of cars and old people, what drives a person of older age to suddenly decide "driving 25 miles wherever I go for the rest of my life sounds good." Old people are not incapable of driving the speed limit. True, they may not be in a hurry to be anywhere, but do they realize that they are the most hated drivers? Millions are late and get symptoms of road rage from their driving. I've seen old people drive fast. I"ve seen it! It's rare, but it does happen. They drive like they are the only ones on the planet or they are incompasitated in same way to push the gas peddle 1/4th of a centimeter down to accelerate. It's almost as if they are teasing Death.
Well, that is all my random thoughts scrunched into one long ass blog. The people of Idaho should be ashamed of their backward-ass boring state. Maybe for some it's a good thing to not live in a high paced city environment. But come on, this is the same state where the music scene gets pissed off if you jump to the beat at shows. If you enjoyed this pointless blog somehow, please subscribe. I'm stuck at an even 14 subscribers. Anyone want to make it 15? Maybe more? ha ha. Thanks for reading! :)

My Adventures with Attempting to Tune-up My VW Bus

Well it's been a day of tuning up my love machine. First I did the fuel filter which was a pain.........Literally. I disconnected it and it felt like a gallon of gasoline poured into my eyes. After running into the house blindly (I navigated that like the back of my hand) to wash out my eyes, I came back to the scene of the eyeburning to find that my driveway was the Rio Grande of gas. I went under and quickly threw on my fuel filter trying my best not to lose the rest of my tank. Seeing that river of gas was enough to make my heart sink since gas prices are more pricey than an Arizona hooker (thats just re-damn-diculous!) I was covered in gas. I was ready to catch on fire like Michael Jackson at a Pepsi commercial. I was waiting for some smoking white trash in a 1970's pick-up truck to pass by and flick their cigarette out at me as they passed by. Or I could have been smoten by the worlds largest levetating magnifying glass that would likely be shined in my direction. Luckily, none of that happened (I know a couple of you are reading this and thinking "damn it!")
So I called around to a couple of places to see if they had the rest of my needed accessories. It turned out I had to drive all the way to West Valley just to buy spark plug wires from some douchebag who would have sooner smothered himself with a rotting bear carcass than help me. Thoroughly annoyed, I drove back using my dad's car to face bumper to bumper traffic. Woo Hoo. Nothing says "I'm thinking about working for the U.S Postal Service just so I have an excuse to go on a rampage" quite like sitting in 85 degree weather in bumper to bumper traffic surrounded by assholes with loud shitty music.
After stopping at a few places for spark plugs, and a distributor cap, I made my way home to finish off the job. I pulled out the spark plug wires to find that the resistors at the end were partly broken. That would explain why my van lugged around like obese trailer trash on welfare. I replaced all that and felt a sense of accomplishment I haven't felt since resisted fast food for a day and a half. I started up my van and it worked better than it had in a long time. It was time for the real test. I took it on the freeway since I had been having problems staying at accelerated speeds. And with my luck, It died going 60mph for no reason. It just completely cut out. With my mongoose like speed, I dropped the clutch in 4th as it was going and it started back up again. I got off the nearest exit using every socially unacceptable word I could think of including "Thumbfuck" and "Dirty Splurby" (That last one is only unacceptable because splurby is not a word........yet)
I spent a lot of money tuning up my van and my problem wasn't completely solved. So I'm broke again until my next check comes through. Damn! But it was a good learning experience since I've never really had to work on my van before.
But there is a point to this blog besides my misfortune entertaining you sadistic bastards. If you have any ideas as to what is causing my problem i.e. my van cutting out at high speeds and sometimes low speeds (which rules out the governor) then by all means let me know. I'm thinking the fuel pump, distributor, maybe even my alternator but I'm not leaning on that one too much. I could use some help here. I have a 6 hour trip next week in that thing. So I need to get it in freeway ready shape. Any ideas? Comment please. Just want to comment about my misfortune? By all means do. Want to subcribe to my blog if you already haven't? Sure you do. (Peer pressure, come on, everyone else is doing it.)

What Has Two Thumbs and Doesn't Give a Damn?

The Answer: This Guy!!!
It's that time of the month where I do the life update and such.
First off, I want to thank the 13 people who are subscribed to my blog. It means a lot for me to think my writing is semi-interesting to read and that many of you want to keep up with it. Makes me want to do writing for a living. (Something I've been considering a lot lately) Bust aside from that, life is still ok. I think I'm more stressed than I'm willing to admit. Mostly about my job and finances. Even though I'm out of debt, It's hard to save up money while constantly paying my bills and maintaining my van. I'm back to working ridiculous long hours at my job again, which blows a ton. I hate my job as we all know and staying there for long amounts of hours doesn't really help me much. Rest assured, I'm still trying to find a job. :)
It helps a lot that school is over. It's good to hang out with my amigos a little more and do crazy random shit again. It helps take my mind off things. Whether it's screaming really loud like a pack of rabid horny apes or randomly driving to Wyoming for non other than fireworks, every second helps keep my sanity. I could really use a vacation. I'm going camping in 10 days like every year. Which gets me super excited because I love camping. I think that after this month, things will really start to shape up for me. I'll work more consistantly to get money, hopefully I'll get more job interviews, meet new people, and of course more adventures.
I feel a lot better since I've pushed a few people from my life. I'm not dealing with as much crap as I used to. People playing cheap mind games, guilt trips to manipulate, pointless drama, high school drama, etc. I'm moving past all that. So I guess you could say, life is still pretty good. Even though a crappy job and not having a lot of money sucks, it could be worse. (Ever heard of a Turkish prison?)
Though I'll admit, a girl has been on my mind lately who pretty much has been the past year or so. If not longer. I pushed her out for a while and now I'm being a sucker and letting her fall back into my mind. It sucks that she is still in my mind after all this time. Especially since things won't work. It doesn't make me miserable, but it would help if she wasn't on my mind anymore. I think a lot of it is the lack of meeting anyone else worth while the past 6 months or so. But of course, I'm not trying real hard either. It's a double edged sword I suppose. That's one thing I hope to accomplish in the next month. Just getting her out of my mind completely.
Aside from all that, the summer is practically here and the days are just beautiful. I love warm summer nights. Now I can harass people in my van by cover of darkness knowing that 1. I won't freeze to death. and 2. I can at least roll down my windows without regretting it. Let's not forget the vast amounts of fast food that will be eaten and making me fatter. There is a good possibility that I will even buy a moped in the future so I can save on gas. I don't know what it is about me and purchasing vehicles that typically don't attract any form of chicks (except conservative Euro trash chicks with hairy armpits....... Damn hippies) I hope to paintball a lot more this summer too. It's a sport that makes it so shooting and harming your buddies is more fun than ever and not deadly either. My last thing to accomplish by August is to figure out what chemical in Starbucks coffee makes you forget you're paying 4 dollars just for a cup of coffe. Bastards!
Anyway, that's all from me. Thanks for reading :)

My Adventures With Making a Root Beer Float at Work!!!

So I'm about to tell a story of outrageously pointless proportions but don't worry, it does offer some comical value.
So I was at work today and there was vanilla ice cream in the machine out in the cafeteria. Thinking quickly, I grabbed a 20 ounce cup and filled it halfway with vanilla ice cream, and made my way to the soda dispenser and filled the other half with root beer.
Success!!!
A root beer float was thusly created. But there was a problem; the ice cream was at the bottom and the root beer had drowned my delicous ice cream. So I went back to the machine and put more in on top of the root beer. I didn't put a lot. But I did manage to put enough to make it look like floating poop. Evidently the amount I put in was less dense than water. I thought to myself: "Holy crap! It's like crap. But it's not brown!"
I briskly walked back towards the office to share my findings. Upon my arrival, I realized that 2 of my bosses and 3 of my co workers were in there. I burst through the door and exclaimed to the nearest person "Look inside my cup! It's like poop from an altnernate universe!"
Everyone looked at me with a disgusted look except for Lincoln standing next to me, who struggled to hold his laughter. It was at that point I actually absorbed the fact that 2 of my bosses were in there. They shook their heads with the same disgusted look and went back to work. I was still thoroughly impressed with my discovery, but concluded that wasn't the high point of my of 2 year stay at the job.
Definitely not job resume material

And You See Your Life Before You....

don't look back.... you're not going that way...
- Sheyn
It's weird to have that said to me to be honest. Thats usually the advice I give to people who often live with regret and live in the past. I always say something like "Don't live in the past, there is nothing you can change there." or "The past is the past, just let it it be" Are any of you one of those people who give advice to others but never listen to your own advice? I know I am. I never listen to my own advice. Some people come to me for answers thinking I at least have some idea to help them. In some aspects, I don't even have answers to the same problems for myself. I question my ambitions because I have so little of them. I have ideas that usually just stay as ideas. Usually when I have a big enough of an ambition, I accomplish it quickly. If I want it bad enough. I don't think I'm living in the past much. I usually let it stay that way. I think I don't look forward enough. On my darker days I wish for the older days. Days where I didn't have to worry about this. Often, I realize that I'm better off now then I ever was. I don't have enough realistic ideas for my future. Some do. Sheyn for example has Allred. I know he loves being in that band pretty much more than anything. Granted, I don't know him that well. But he does have ambition. (By the way check out Allred they have a new cd coming out next week. They kick ass!!! www.myspace.com/allred) I have come to realize that people with ambition, usually no matter what it is, is well respected.
high school was just a big joke of trying to fit in and stupid drama!  Plus now that you are in college you hold more responsiblity than you did in high school...and sometimes it feels overwhelming!
-Becca
You don't realize how big of a barrier there is between you and people still in high school until you are about 4 months graduated. All of a sudden you feel like you're talking to a kid in some cases. It makes you wonder "Was I like that?" Probably....... Because the fact is, we were kids. We still are but the second you graduate, you are pretty much forced to grow up because the world and society does not slow down for you. It never will. Some people want to go back to high school. Less responsibility, more fun, old memories, etc. I never want to go back to high school. Don't get me wrong high school was fun and it was good not to have as much responsibility. But I feel like I don't have enough responsibility that goes anywhere. My jobs responsibilities are bullshit responsibilities. The only people who give a shit if you mess up is your supervisor who incidentally barely graduated high school 45 years ago. Big deal. The paper was in the wrong file. My handwriting couldn't be read so that patient didn't get plastic fork because of their dumbass preference for none metal silverware. Which usually has nothing to do with a medical condition. If I told some people what I get in trouble for at work, they would most likely laugh and say "who gives a fuck" I sure don't. I barely do my job correctly because it doesn't matter what I do. My responsibilities are that of a deadbeat dad. I want more responsibility that has meaning. I kind of long for it. Not a lot where I get overwhelmed and give up. But enough to keep me on my toes. Too less and I don't give a rats ass.
Live life well and have fun doing it
-Matt
I think this is advice that not enough people live by. Some people get so consumed in a job or a hobby that it's no longer fun. It's habit. Some people live to gamble. It's not fun. But it's addicting. Some people devote their lives to upholding the rules and work of a heartless corporation. It's not fun. But it's all they have. This is advice I have tried to live by the best I could. I was so wound up tight when I was younger that sometimes it kept me from experiencing new things in life. New things that I enjoy now. I started to loosen up a little as I got older. I tried new things, met new people. A lot of new people actually. I came out of my shell for once. I used to be so dark and pessimistic. Everything was the worst case scenario and I would constantly whine about how my life sucked. Why the hell do that? What's the point? It's like shooting myself in the foot. How can I have fun and see life for what it really is if all I see is the worst part of it. Despite the ups and downs, life is beautiful. It's remarkable. The past year, I feel like I have fallen in love with life. The endless possibilities, the beautiful weather days, camping, new memories. Everything. If you think I'm a cynical pessimist now, that's nothing. That's just me being realistic or blunt in some fashion. I used to be so cynical and pessimistic the most unlikely possibility of a situation kept me and sometimes others from doing other things. You only live once. I do my best to not live with regrets. We all have our lives ahead of us. What's the use of dwelling on something that will never again when the future is still to come? When we can improve and make sure it doesn't happen again?
If you want something, the fact is, ya gotta get an idea of how to get there, and fuckin do it........
              I guess you gotta ask yourself if you've got the drive to do what you want, cause once you make that goal, that's all you're gonna have to keep you going... it's just gotta be worth it
-Jeff
He's right you know? I have done jackshit to achieve what I want. But the truth is, I don't know what I want anymore. I wanted to go to med school. But can I do it? Is that what I really want to do? If not, then what? I don't know. Doing medicine is something I've always wanted to do. It has responsibility, stability, satisfaction, and new information all the time. I was raised with medical careers because of my parents. It's a subject that has always interested me a ton. I know a bit about it. Enough to create the illusion I'm intelligent anyway. (joke) But the truth is, everyone I know knows exactly what they want, and they are going for it. And that's amazing. They are good people and have the potential and the likeliness to accomplish it. As for me, when my mind is set on something, I do it. And I don't give up. I'm a very stubborn individual. I wonder if I do really have what it takes to do medicine. Maybe be a doctor. I want to be successful to the point I want to give back to the people who have given to me. I want to help people. I sincerely do. At this point, I don't know what my mind is set on. Do other people think I can do it? I usually don't give a shit what people think. But suddenly when it comes to this, what I'm going to do wtih my life, I feel like nobody feels like I could go to med school and accomplish it. Am I seen just as a goofy dumbass? Do I seem absolutely retarded to people? If I don't have sincere support in some things, I can't do them. That whole mindset that no one can think I can do it. Sometimes that encourages me, and other times it brings me down. Maybe I really can't do it. But what can I do? Writing would be cool. But do I have what it takes to be a writer? Would I sell? Or would I be another no name on the library shelf? Writing is something I have been told I am talented at. But a talent to one person may be the work of a dreaming ameteur to another. It's something I do frequently. But who knows. Music would be cool, but I find less time to play and even few people to even play with. (damn you!) Usually my connection to doing something musical is volunteering at Local. And I love that! It's great to be around music and great people. It's fun. I love it. One thing is for sure, anything business is out of the question for me. It doesn't interest me at all. It seems so boring and pointless. I don't like the business world. I don't like how the business world works. I like to talk about  politics, but I wouldn't go into politics to save my soul. Power corrupts and in this day and age, power is as easily and more frequently abused than drugs. I don't want to be that way. A part of me tells me I would be. I really don't know. But I do know the next semester I am going to do a lot more. I'm going to strive a little more to be something than just 3 classes at a time. If I want responsibility and success, I have to work for it. It's not going to fall into my lap and pleasure me like a cheap hooker. (even though that option is acceptable and preferred) I'm hoping that with a more detailed idea of what kind of medical career I might want to pursue, that I might go out and do it. And with all the classes I will be taking, ideas will be everywhere. I hope to find one soon. I know I will. But so far, I think a medical career is going to be the way I go.
I quoted those people because their advice truly got to me. Their words made me think and helped me think. I have a better idea of what I want. Not a clear idea. But it's a start. But their help has meant more than they know. I'm not just saying that to sound like a corny bitch. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my future, I asked for advice and I got it. I couldn't be more pleased with the results I got. It's helped me along the confusion and hopefully I'll be on the path to something meaningful soon. 
Thank you all!

I Could Use Some Change

The semester is almost over finally. Only about 2 weeks left and I'm free until August. No way in hell I'm going to school over the summer. I need to build some money first. I'm just barely getting out of debt and it feels good. The trick will be to stay out of debt and at the same time still save money for next fall semester. But that's not really an issue. I'm still feeling a sense of personal happiness.
But yet, I can't help but feel like something needs to change. Does anyone else feel like they need change but have absolutely no idea what needs to change? And even if you knew what needed to be changed, would you be able to change it? Would you have the will power to do it? Would you be better off for doing so? What consequences would be involved? Do you have what it takes to make extraordinary things happen? Do you ever crave a sense of change like an addict craves their addiction?
Lately, I've been finding myself asking these questions to myself repeatedly. I feel like I need change so badly. There's nothing wrong with my social life. That doesn't need to change. I'm cool just chillin with good friends and doing whatever spontaneous shit pops into our heads. It always changes. I'm looking for change beyond my social life. I'm looking for change that could bring my life substance. Bring me some sense meaning. I don't feel meaningless per se. But I feel sometimes what I do with my life is. My job for example, is meaningless. If there was one thing I could change right now, it would instantly be my job. And I know how to change that, but yet luck/karma/outside forces(?) have clearly not been on my side in this endeavor. I have been trying to leave my job since September/early October. The interviews are already fixed, someone has already been chosen most of the time. I want a job that has meaning. Preferably in medicine. Something with more patient care. Something with responsibility. I would like to do something in music. But I want to move up and maybe gain some respect. Most I could do in music right now is work at a music store for jackshit wages. I'm trying to get into programs that will throw me into the pit of medical care but with little success. I want to go to med school and major in radiology. Once again, I find that I question myself. Do I have what it takes to do medicine? If not, then what?  Am I smart enough? Do I have any useful talents? Am I just mediocre at everything I do? No, I'm not a pessimist. But it feels like I'm trapped. I'm starting to feel a little burnt out from all the lack of meaning. My future really does scare me in some aspects. There are some people who have the ambition, the motivation, the vision, and the drive to the point they have an idea of where they will be in 10 years. I'm notorious for living my life 2 hours at a time. I can't see myself in 10 years. I'll be 29. That's far away. Nearly my 3rd decade in life. Where will I be? Who will I be? Will I still have the same friends? Will I be married? Divorced? (I hope not with all my life) Will I be successful? Will I feel like I'm accomplishing something?
I suppose my overthinking goes hand in hand with how I've been acting lately. There are several people over the past 3 months who I have just pushed myself from completely. To the point where I don't talk to them anymore. A few I just pushed myself away to the point where we are just acquaintences. Generally, these people are still in high school. I don't know a ton of high school people who aren't dramatic, selfish, immature, whiny and fake. And of course, they are still in high school. There is a small handful of people who I know who are not like that. That's great. And not necessarily everyone I'm pushing away from aren't in that category. But I felt like it was time to move on from these people. All they brought was drama, broken hopes, and endless amounts of bitching. And personally, I don't have time to feel like that. I don't have time to deal with attention addicts who are going to fall on their asses after high school. I don't have time to give a shit about what some dramatic and fake16-17 year old girl thinks about me. I don't have the patience or the time to even think about stupid shit like that. There is some people who I would really rather not ever speak to again. Does this make me selfish, or am I doing what is necessary for both of us? Once again, not everyone is in that category. Not everyone did something to piss me off either. I just felt like I needed to move away from people I didn't know very well or could do without easy and likewise visa versa. But if I don't have time for that, What exactly do I have time for then? When given time, I don't do a whole hell of a lot with it. Sometimes I just sit on my ass and do nothing. Which isn't always bad. I'm a fairly private person sometimes. I need my alone time where I just do nothing and be off on my own. I'm perfectly fine with that. But too much of it feels meaningless. I'm not doing anything with it. And as much as I try to fill the gaps with hobbies and such, it feels like something is missing. Substance. Some sort of passion or drive. Writing and music is a passion and drive for me. But not a prominent one. So really, what do I have time for?
What it all boils down to is: What kind of change do I really need?
A relationship? Not likely. It would definitely be a change. But do I really need that? If I happened to get into one, I wouldn't settle for anything less than damn near perfect. I settled for less once, never again. I don't have time to deal with a constantly shitty relationship. What do I have time for again? (see how complexing this is?) It would be nice to wake up and feel like someone who I care about and likewise about me is at least looking forward to seeing me or hearing from me. A lot of my friends feel that. That feeling of knowing that someone wants you. Maybe even needs you. Something I haven't felt in years. I'm not talking from friends and family. Like a girlfriend or something. But I wouldn't want such a thing to consume me either like it does to some. Like I said, I need my personal space. I doubt a relationship is a change that is necessary to give me substance. In turn, I haven't been going out looking for one. I don't think I've been on a real date for almost 6 months. And that doesn't bother me particularly either. So this lame issue definitely isn't an incredible factor. Maybe a nice and new change, but not necessary.
New friends maybe? I doubt that a ton because the friends I have are some of the best people I know. Meeting new people is all well and good. But nothing can replace the trust and fun I have with my closest friends. Many of my older friends have long since faded out, and as time goes on, my friends now will fade out. To me, new friends and starting from scratch is out of the question. Not an issue.
Maybe I'm overthinking. And maybe some of this is stuff I shouldn't be worrying about right now. Maybe I'm doing nothing wrong. I admit, I still have an assload of growing up to do. But I do know I have come a long way from where I was 1 to 2 years ago. I used to crave attention. I think everyone does when you're in high school. I'm not perfect. I never will be. I'm not insecure thinking I don't know who I am. I'm perfectly secure and happy with I am. It's who I will be that has me worried. Will I be somebody? I'm not asking for fame, attention and extreme wealth. I'm asking for meaning. Direction.
And to be perfectly honest, I'm still happy right now. Maybe a little complexed and frightened of my future. But I've never felt so alive in a way. Just having adventures. Having trustworthy friends. Doing what you love most out of life and not caring what people think about you. I know a lot of people who are very busy people. They don't take enough time out for themselves. It's always one major thing to concentrate on. School. Work. Or even more pathetic, concentrating on getting married as soon as possible. But you start to see people like this talk to you in a condenscending arrogant way, or get so caught up in one thing that they become more of a rumor then an actual tangible person. In a way, I feel sorry for them. Maybe I shouldn't feel sorry for a person who has priorities where I haven't sorted mine out yet. It just doesn't seem like life was meant to be wasted on one thing that makes you feel like less of a person but more of a tool to your own irrational thoughts.
I know, I'm only 19 and meaning or direction isn't going to hit me immediately. I'm looking for it too. But I wonder if meaning is looking for me too. Maybe I'm looking too hard. It is in my experience that the harder you look or try for something, the more foolish you look. Like you when you lose the remote control and you look all over for it and you get so frustrated that you can't find it. Then on a day where you could give a rats ass where the remote is, you find it. And joy and balance is restored in your mind. (I actually don't watch a lot of tv, I just wanted to use that analogy.) But I'm hoping that as time goes on, more pieces of this puzzle called life will start to come together more and more rather than losing the pieces. Or jamming the right pieces in the wrong place at the wrong time. I know, it's a corny analogy, But I think a lot of you can relate to it.
I practically wrote a novel here. I'd be surprised if someone reads it all the way through and comments it. If you do, I commend you for your efforts and I appreciate you reading! :)

One Year Ago and to the Present

(If you're reading this, then chances are, you are one of the 10 people that have subscribed to my blog. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. And if you aren't subscribed, you should for shits and giggles. ha ha. Anyway, thanks again.)
Today was a beautiful day wasn't it? Clear skies for as far as you can see, with a warm wind. Flowers poppin out of the ground, kids running around playing, and enough birds flying about to make your work of washing your car completely pointless. And if you happen to have allergies like a good percentage of the world at this time of year (myself included) then you know that spring is certainly here. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Well Johnny, what does this have to do with one year ago?"
Absolutely nothing! I just wanted to point out that spring is here finally. Winter blows with all its coldness and darkness and such. But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I suppose I have had a lot of time to think. Do you ever think about where you were exactly one year ago from this date? You would be surprised how much has changed. I see all these blogs and bulletins talking about how different you were 5 years ago. Welll hell yeah you are going to be different from 5 years ago. 5 years ago, I wasn't even driving, and I was discovering that women aren't so bad. But I still refused to talk to them. It doesn't matter how old you are. 5 years is half a decade and a lot of shit is going to change. I think few people (particularly at this age) realize how far they have come along from one year ago.
For example: One year ago, I had a girlfriend. I may not have cared as much as I probably should have back then, but I sure had one. Not that many people knew anyway. One year ago, I was struggling to graduate because I can't do math. Everything was perfect except the fact that math has always been my weak spot and I needed it desperately to graduate. I was struggling doing problems I didn't/couldn't understand. One year ago, I wasn't talking to my friend of 11 years Kyle because our band had broken up and I didn't agree with why it did. I wasn't talking to Nate. Not that it matters now, I don't talk to him much anyway today. One year ago, I found out that I was going to Italy for sure. One year ago, I was somewhat happy with my job. One year ago, I felt very depressed and alone despite the good friends I had supporting me.
The list goes on.
But presently, pretty much everything is different. Some things didn't change. But I know that my state of mind has definitely changed. The way I percieve life has changed. To this day, I'm not struggling to graduate. I'm struggling to find a career that will help make me prosperous and happy. To this day, I hang out and talk to my friend Kyle . Presently, I hate my job more than anything I can think of. (math fights for a good tie) I'm not depressed. I'm generally happy with how my life is whether it is up or down. Yes, I'm still realistic but I don't believe I'm completely pessimistic. I'm not always looking for the bad in everything just to do it or thinking of the worst case scenario. Rather, I'm looking toward the future hoping that my days will only get better despite the responsibilities I will be taking on as time goes on. Usually if I'm being cynical it's usually to make a point or to say something of great smart ass proportions. But when I compare last year to this year, I know that I'm better off. The people I have met and hang out with help make my life worth while. The things I do make life better. It's just weird to think how far I have come since last year.
If you think about it yourself, you may realize how far you have came from one year ago. The things that are. The things that could have been. Maybe the things that should have been. You'd be surprised who you know now and who you don't know anymore. The obstacles you overcame. The memories you made. Life isn't a game. Life is a passion that many take for granted, few want to end it for themselves, and even fewer live like it could be their last.
Who knows where I'll be in a year. Frankly, I don't like to think that far ahead. I have trouble thinking more than 2 hours ahead. But thinking in terms of hope, I'll be 20 and hopefully close to getting my associates degree with hopefully a new job that I enjoy a little more. Hopefully, my life will still be as good as it is now. Hopefully, I will discover that not all girls are as souless as shoes from a second hand thrift store. Actually, I already know that. I just wanted to make an attempt at being witty.
Until next time muchachos/muchachas

Honestly, thats just ridiculous

Ok, this just came to mind and right now I'm seeing it happen as I type this. People who put THEMSELVES through the drama, the moping, the self-loathing, all the situations they are in now. They put themselves through it and expect people to give a shit how they feel. They create the pain and emotion they are feeling. It's almost as if a couple of them sabotage themselves. Honestly, grow the fuck up. The truth is, the real world doesn't give a shit about how someone dumped you and you don't have the will to move on because it was everything you depended on. Reality doesn't care you're unmotivated and lazy. Every now and then you get the pity card from sympathetic individuals but how long will it last before everyone realizes that you are just immature, attention starved, and personality-less? I know at one point or the other we have all done this. No one is perfect and everyone needs attention in one way or the other. But there are people who do this every damn day and they should be old enough to know better by now. When the world comes down, it comes down so hard. I know that. Everyone knows that. But that is no excuse to be lifeless and immature. You can still live life no matter what happens. I understand there is some circumstances like divorce or a death that is just plain old painful. But I know people who are going through that, its no fun. But they manage to still be an individual and move on with their lives. And don't even get me started on pathological liars who make up their life as they go with stories that defy the laws of physics and probability. If you are that damn lifeless and insecure that you have to make up stories to make yourself seem interesting, do yourself a favor (and everyone else who has to listen to it) and get a life. Life is only what you make it. Get out there. Make life interesting for yourself. For some of you, that's easier said than done because those people haven't lived a day in their life in their own actual skin. And let's not forget about the people who hold stupid grudges just because they are 1. jealous. 2. anal beyond reason. 3 attention starved. Just let it go. There are 3 powerful forces in life and that's love, hate and forgiveness. Most people only know about love and hate because forgiveness is too much ask. They can't let go of the one thing they created. Life is too short to be this way. Stop sabotaging yourself, stop throwing pity parties, stop being a negative salty bitch, because the only people who care after you graduate are those closest to you. And even then the people closest to you stop caring because they have figured it out and get tired of hearing about the same old shit, slightly different story every day. After you graduate, shit like that doesn't fly.
I'm sure most of you know someone who is like this or was at one point or the other. Hell, maybe even you're like this and you haven't come to terms with who you are yet. In any case, I don't mean to be a dick. I just look around and see too much of it. It's almost depressing that shit like this keeps people from living life. And don't let anyone ever tell you that they are happy the way they are despite the constant complaints of loneliness, hate, grudges, and constant self pity. They are clearly not happy and are playing just a lame ass game to get attention. Kind of like reverse psychology.
I admit, sometimes I am not always the most positive person in the world. And I am also willing to admit that I was once like this.............when I was 16 or 17. I try to keep a positive mind the best I can despite my circumstances. To be honest, I haven't been happier despite being broke as shit and in debt up to my ears. I've just accepted that life is life. Shit will happen. I will feel like shit. I will make others feel like shit. Shit will happen that's out of my control. But that's just life. Accept it and stop dwelling on "what could have been" and "what should have been." The point is the past is the past. There is nothing you can change there. EVER! Just live your life now and don't worry about back then. All that matters is that you're here now and what you do with your life with every second matters.

Besides, you only live once

(unless you're Buddhist or you believe in reincarnation, then you live forever)

Here We Go Again!

This is my life update as of now. Nothing too exciting I suppose. But I usually write one every month thinking at least one person cares. Besides, why break tradition?
For the first time in my life, I'm in financial trouble. I havent been broke since I was 17 when I had my first job at the pizza place in the mall. I never had money. (partly because I had a girlfriend at the time too) But since January I've spent so much money and I've had nothing to show for it. I'm usually really good with my money. I just don't know what has happened. Now I'm in debt for the first time and I have so much to pay for and so little money to do it. Money is a bitch. I'd like to think that I'm not in this position because of me. How I wish that was true. ha ha. It really sucks.
A piece of this kind of goes in hand with my job. I hate my job with a deep passion. I feel like I do the most meaningless work. Granted, I do get paid more than some of my friends for what I do, but that doesnt change the fact I feel my job is meaningless. I used to hate it the most when I worked in the dishroom and all it was was high school drama despite the fact I was graduated. I had a wide variety of dipshit co workers. Many of those ones are gone now and I'm a dietitian tech. The only thing that makes my job horrible is my supervisors that seemingly have a little more intelligence than the pile of shit I stepped in yesterday. They are so dumb. It makes me feel horrible knowing that I actually have to work under these people. They are mean, they are clueless and generally just overall dumb. I could really use a new job. I had a brief job being an on call ekg tech for 3 weeks. I was only used once before they let me go saying they didnt know that my job wouldn't be as in high demand. That sucked. Since October, I have been turned down for at least 8 jobs that all went to women, and 4 of those times the women were far less qualified than I was. And one job went to a pre med school student guy. That was understandable because he was smart as hell. I need boobs and a fake personality to get jobs it seems. ha ha. No, but it does chap my ass that I'm getting jewed out of good jobs despite my qualifications.
But to be totally honest, I'm happy. I'm happier than I've ever been for this time of year. I mean, yeah, my job and financial trouble is a kick in the ass but that doesn't stop me from living life and having fun. I have great friends. During the fall I really didnt have any because we all had a brief falling out because of the circumstances we were in. Things are back to how they were. I've made a couple of new friends, my old friends are still around and we still have a kick ass time whenever we can. I'm just trying to live life the best I can. And it's been great. I've had some girls come and go from my life the past couple of months. Nothing incredibly serious, but there is a couple I miss. Girls are girls. They do come and go. If one that I like comes around that I like a ton and the feeling is mutual, great. If not, oh well. I've got time. A relationship would be kind of cool, but I'm not going to go out of my way and find one. Those ones are always the worst. I just want it to happen. It just wasn't predictable. I'm tired of wasting my time on girls who pretend I don't exist when there is other people around. I'm tired of wasting my time on girls who get clingy within a week. (that creeps me out) I'm tired of wasting time on girls with no intelligence. I'm just going to do what I've always done. I'm just going to let it happen. I could really use a stable band too. I jam with people but there is never really stable members. It's weird to me that I play the drums but have no band. But other than that, I'm happy. I really am. I know that for better or worse, my shitty days, my good days, things will be ok. And that's all that really matters.

A Bulletin Compilation

So if you have read the bulletins I posted regarding Valentines Day, you may or may not have enjoyed them. I kind of enjoyed writing them and I liked to make some people think. So here are all of them in order of appearance so that they may live in mortality so I can recycle them next year. ha ha. Enjoy.

Feb 12, 2006 11:33 PM

Stopping asking me the same damn question

"So what are you doing for Valentines days?"

Honestly, if I hear this one more time, I'm going to shit a cinderblock and pray every night that you pass away in your sleep.

I'm doing nothing.

You know why?

Because it's a day like any other. If it was important enough to be a real holiday, I'd have the day off from school and get paid time and a half just for showing up to work.

I don't hate Valentines day. I just don't see the big deal about about buying overpriced giftcards that don't have any of your original words in it but your name is surely signed at the bottom however, plus buying tacky little accessories in some sort of dismal hope of getting laid, and lets not forget the obligations to do something special that you typically do anyway, like a dinner and a movie or some sort of sappy romantic thing that makes you look like you have a lot of free time or too much money.

Now I've killed any chance for small talk from most of you. (because I think now people will hear that question at least once a day as the day comes closer) You can no longer ask this question casually.

Feb 13, 2006 9:07 PM

I don't feel sorry

I don't feel sorry for the people who are spending upwards 20-100 dollars tomorrow for the sake of being sappy.

With luck, I'll spend maybe 10 dollars for gas and then the rest will go towards feeding myself.

So if you're low on money and the only legitimate reason you have for it is Valentines Day, I don't want to hear you bitch.

End of story.

Feb 14, 2006 2:08 PM

Happy Fuckin Whatever

So I have had many people wish me well on this day. That's all well and good that only on this day in particular I should feel happy.

So however you wish to intrepret today, this is for you.

Happy Valentines Day
Happy Single Awareness Day
Happy Waste Your Money on Overpriced Crap Day
Happy Good Luck on Trying to Get Laid Day
Happy Fuckin Whatever!

I think that covers everyone.


Cheers to those who still feel lonely despite the obvious facts that today is clearly a sham and a brilliant scheme to gain a profit.
You'll find someone eventually. Just live life in the mean time.

Tip of the hat to those who have someone and will no doubt try to make tonight special because they really do care.

And a swift kick in the ass to the people who like to rub it in to people who are clearly lonely. (You're mostly to blame for this depressing nonsense that everyone seems to enjoy being apart of for some reason.) You Bastards

And to everyone else who doesn't plain give a shit. Stay that way. It's not that big of a deal anyway.


Love,
Johnny :)

Feb 14, 2006 10:22 PM

It's Just About Over

From the time I am typing this there is 49 minutes until this day is over. That basically means many of you can let out a sigh of relief until next year. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a Grinch of valentine's day. To be perfectly honest, if this was 3 years ago, I would have been neurotic about being lonely this particular holiday. If for some crazy reason I had a girlfriend, I would do all the weird crap people do on this day as well. I'm human I suppose. A challenge is only as good as it's opponent, so make life worth while. For many of you, you are you're own opponent and YOU put yourself through this pathetic self waste pity drama every year. Life is what you make it. Don't let a day like this somehow make you think that loneliness is forever, and maybe you need to change something about yourself. That is total stale horseshit. Just live life. And I know some of you are reading this thinking "This is not me." or "I've never felt like that" Yes, at one point, you have felt like this on this day at least once or know someone who does on this day or maybe even everyday. The point is, emotion is temporary, but your constant state of mind and self perception is what changes the world around you. That is my final bulletin regarding today.

That's all folks!

Thanks is in order

I haven't really had it too hard lately. Sure, I have stress here and there. And I know I definitely have some more stress coming my way soon. But thats besides the point. The point is, there is people who need to be thanked for always being there, or just being a kick ass friend, people who are trustworthy or have made a difference. Now, this is a more recent list of people. But it's necessary in a way. I've told these people thanks in person of course at some point or another. I'm not that big of a waste.
Special thanks to:
Kyle M.
Jeff D.
Brennon S.
Matt S.
Jared P.
Mikey M.
Eric R.
RJ B.
Lincoln H.
Trent C.
Ashley P.
Kristen ?

I don't need to state reasons for why these people deserve thanks. They may know or not know what they have done. But there is a broader list of people who I would like to thank. People who may have once been close to me and no longer are, or people who continually help me out in small ways even if they don't know it.(There will be reasons for these.)
David M: We were once best friends, for 10 years. Things changed when high school started. But thanks for all the memories. It made my early years of life worth while.
Branden V: We've had good times. But we have long since gone our seperate ways for a couple of years now. You were always there you crazy bastard.

Nate P: You were once a good friend. But things have changed so much we are just mere acquaintances. It doesn't matter anymore it seems. But thanks for giving me an assload of laughs and putting up with my bitchin.
Lizzy S: We had fun while it lasted. But alas, small friendships come and go. Thanks for all the good times just driving around never feeling obligated to do jack shit.

Ashley C. I've only had 2 girlfriends in my life to this day. Believe it or not, even you made a difference. Good times or bad, you were always willing to be there. Thanks. That meant more than you will probably ever know.

Brittany M: Good times, and first memories that will never be forgotten. Need I say more?

Erin K. To this day, you still put up with my dry ass humor and listen. I don't know how you do it.

Rebecca L: You may possibly serve as my last friend thats a minority. In any case, you deserve thanks because without you, my daily routine woudl be out of whack! ha ha, you know what I mean. I think.

Connor D: surprisingly at times, you were there when no one else was. It's unforgettable some of the shit we say.

Matt C: You were there last year with advice I don't think I could have thought up. You crazy bitch, I miss you and thanks for everything.

Alysha K: Thanks for the years of friendship and experiences. I think you were the first girl I ever talked to seriously until I got into high school.


I felt the 2nd list needed explanations more than anything. These were the people who may not have ever realized what they have done or still do. The first list is recent and maybe to an extent they do know why they are thanked. Many of these older thanks, are friends whom I don't speak to anymore or as often. But I think it is always good to keep those in the past in your heart. You can't forget the people who helped make you, even if you don't talk anymore. If somehow, you're reading this and you're thinkin
"what the fuck, why am I on this?"
or
"what the fuck, why am I not on this?"
Well there is probably a good reason for both. if you're on it, just accept the thanks. If you're not on that, you probably haven't made that big of a difference as of recently or ever. Anyway............ yeah. Thanks again!

A Quick Update I suppose

So yeah.....
I've decided now that things are going great now. Things are kind of where they should be. I've got awesome friends that I hang out with a lot. i.e Kyle, Brennon, Matt, Jeff and a few others. Many adventures have been had. Particularly over winter break. I'll have to dedicate another blog to those adventures later on. I tried once and it didn't get posted because myspace was being gay that day. But recently it's just been chilling with my good friends, going to college which is going great, got drunk for the first time, rockin out with some buddies trying to form a new band, I might be moving out soon, got a new car........
Allow me to expand on my new car for a moment. I got a 1980 VW Camper Deluxe II Van. It's bright yellow, it has a fridge, a sink, a stove, and 2 beds. One folds out from the couch, and my roof pops out into one as well. It's pretty much a sex machine. Only fault I have with it, is that it has no heater. So pretty much I get grudge raped in my van by the unforgivingly cold winter weather Utah has. Oh well. I'm pretty much in love with my van. It's not fast. It's not a muscle car. It's not an incredible chick magnet, but I love it.
It feels like I almost have everything only I'm lacking one thing. It's been so minor to me lately I just haven't cared. But since it's the only thing left I feel like I don't have right now it's kind of big. I don't really have a girl in my life. I didn't really care for a while. I'm not sure if I want a relationship. Though, it would be kind of cool to have that kind of stability, I'm not sure if I'm ready. A piece of me is, and that piece of me isn't going to settle for less at all. I want to be happy with someone. The piece that isn't is the one that's telling me, just stay single, play the fields. Not that it matters if I do. I haven't really gotten much from that anyway. But I dunno. It's weird. It's not really a big deal. It just feels like thats the only thing I'm lacking.
I'm happy. Which is unusual considering I'm generally angry or depressed in the winter. Winter tends to bring out the worst in me every year. But I'm in a great mood most of the time. I have great friends. So hopefully it stays like this. Peace out bitches!

My Adventures in Boise!!!!

So it's been a month since I've taken my wonderful trip to Boise, Idaho and I have decided it's about time for me to reflect on it. So listen up Ladies, gentleman, kids, elderly, voting illegal immigrants, yes, even the non-voting illegal immigrants, and various miscellaneous minorites. (I think I covered everyone)
It started out that I had tickets to go see Senses Fail, Saves the Day and The Early November in Salt Lake. Senses Fail and Saves the Day being 2 of the biggest musical influences for me made it all the more exciting that they were coming in the same show. So I told Jeff that he should go to this show. Not only did I tell him, but I insisted! He couldn't resist of course. So the day before the show, my dad calls me up and says "Johnny, have you ever heard of this band called Senses Fail or Saves the Day?" and I was like uh.... yeah why? My dad just casually continues "Well there is this drawing for tickets to the Boise show at my work, I guess they are VIP passes. Want to be entered?" I was excited and replied yes happily. Even though I was excited, I didn't expect to win. Honestly, who wins drawings? No one! But I get a call about 2 hours later with my dad telling me that I won the tickets and the show is the day after the SLC show and I needed to bring a friend to fill the other ticket. I was excited. So once again, I turned to Jeff with an outrageous proposal that we drive to Boise to see this show where we could supposedly meet the band and such according to my dad. Jeff was intrigued, but skeptical. Both our cars were in and shit shape (and still are) and we both had school. So we settled that Jeff's car being a safer bet than my Geo Metro and decided we will take this trip. But only if we drive back home the same night because Jeff had school the next morning. It was a spontaneous and outrageous plan, but wow, was it tempting.
So Jeff and I go to the SLC and needless to say, it was crazy. The show the bands put on were amazing, but the crowds were out of control. Nonetheless, it was a great show and an amazing time was had. I bought 4 new shirts that night. But I made the unwise decision of purchasing them before the show at the stands. I layered all 4 shirts on and practically died of heat stroke. Not really. But it really was ridiculously hot in the crowd. A small problem arose though. I had to call in to work for the next day so I could go to the Boise show. And of course, I had to remember this during the show. The Venue's rules did not allow you to go back outside for any reason unless you were leaving. So making a phone call with about a 1000 people in the same room is somewhat difficult. Especially, if you need to make it convincing that you're not having a life right then. So I went into the bathroom which proved to be the least noisiest place and made my call. I hoped with everything I had that no one woud flush the toilet in there to make the conversation awkward or the bands wouldn't start playing again. Luckily, a fellow co worker answered and I quickly made up a story of how I had to go to Boise to help my Dad. Right when I thought I was home free with no disturbances, some jackass flushes the toilet, which was really loud. It didn't help my case any since I told them I was in my car right then. But eh, oh well, it worked and I had the next day off for the trip. So after the show, Jeff and I drove to USU since thats where Jeff's dorm was. He had school and I had no prior obligations. We would stay there for the night then the next day, ASAP, head to Boise.
We embarked on our journey at about noon to the great state of potatoes and incest. Little did we know how boring that 5 hour drive would be. We filled the gaps with inane chatter, speaking of life and any random shit that came to mind. We finally reached Boise around 4:30 or so. Boise, is quite the crappy city. There is like 4 or 5 semi tall buildings that make up downtown. There is no coordinate system and there is a ton of unnecessary one way roads. Needless to say, getting around was tough. We could not find that venue to save our souls. The traffic was horrible. Not because there is a ton of people; but because people there are apparently inept to the concept of speed and the speed limit. People drive soooooo slow. It's like time stands still as you wait for them to get to the next light. So with that, we said "fuck it," we parked on the side and walked. It proved to be much faster. We asked for directions from 2 different people, both of which told us these long complicated paths. They were both wrong. None of the directions led anywhere except for circles. It was at this point, Jeff took charge and navigated by his wits. Surprisignly enough, it got us to the venue. It was just a straight shot instead of the maze directions we were given. It was at that point we vowed to never trust people from Idaho again because they apparently love to screw you over for lack of something to do in that backward ass city. We were still very early for the show so we wondered around aimlessly for entertainment, making fun of all the small things the city ever had to off. Which wasn't much by the way. So we went back to the venue to claim our VIP tickets since it was about time for the show to start and it was then we encountered a problem. Someone fucked up because our names were not on the list for the passes. The passes just lay there in front of us behind the glass window without owners. We were supposed to get in before everyone else. But the problems persisted and all the general admission crowd got in before us. I called my dad and my dad called his boss who incidentally owned the venue and got us in after an hour and a half in the unforgiving Idaho cold. I demanded compensation for their lack of brains. All they could offer us was free food. Meeting the bands was not included in the VIP pass like my dad said, so that was an extra downer and you had to be 21 to use the full extent of the pass since it included alcohol. The show started with the same energy coming from the bands but much less coming from the crowd. People from Idaho just stood around. there was very little movement throughout the show. Sometimes people would just but if you ran into someone in what would normally be the pit, they would get all butt hurt. It was ridiculous. NO ONE IN BOISE KNEW HOW TO ROCK OUT!!!! Me and Jeff and a handful of other people proved to be the only ones who knew how to jump and get into music. It pretty much made us look stupid, but who cares. We had fun. After the show with the dull crowd but amazing bands we stood outside the back of the venue with some hope of meeting the bands. I wanted to make the trip up there worth while. I had hope of meeting the bands and was determined to make it happen. After about a half an hour of waiting like die hards, The Early November emerged. I talked with them briefly but it wasnt that great. I'm not a huge Early November fan. A little while longer, Senses Fail's drummer, Dan Trapp came out. Dan Trapp has been a huge influence in the way I play drums. I look up to him in a way. I talked to him for a while about the new album they were puttin out, our trip, and drums. It was cool to meet one of my idols. I met one of the guitarists for Senses Fail very briefly. He seemed to have no interest in talking and was brisk. Unfortunately, thats all I met of Senses Fail. Later, Chris Connely, the lead singer of Saves the Day came out. I was excited. I loved his lyrics and always hoped to be as good as he was. I talked to him and he was super cool. Just really laid back and funny. Just a real down to earth person. My night was made. I met some of my biggest idols and saw the same amazing show twice. At the stroke of midnight, that night, I turned 19. Phone calls poured in from good friends wishing me happy birthday.
At about 1 in the morning, Jeff and I decided to head back after eating some Del Taco with my dad. Jeff had to be back for class that morning. It was cold and it was boring. We started to drift asleep slowly, so I told Jeff to pull over so we could rest for an hour. So we stopped at this creepy rest stop and slept in that freezing ass car. After our short rest we were on our way and were back to talking tired jibberish in no time. After what seemed to be days, we made it back to Jeff's dorm, tired and beat, but yet happy. Jeff immediately crashed on his bed. I just went home from there. The drive back home wasn't incredibly pleasnt since I was drop dead tired. But I did make it home alive around 10 in the morning and crashed on my bed instantly. I didn't wake up for hours after that.
It was good to have a good spontaneous adventure. Definitely worth while filled with memories I won't forget. It was a good 19th birthday to see my favorite bands under one roof with my bueno amigo Jeff joining in on the craziness.